I'm done

Sorry for the forthcoming bitching folks but over the past couple weeks I have been in a real, real dark place (that’ll probably be another thread). That coupled with some recent events I need to vent before I snap (which still may happen but hopefully lessened by venting). While the following is minor it was straw 6,7,8 and 9 out of the 12 that collectively broke the camel’s back.

Well, as the thread title says, I’m done. No more Mr. Nice Guy. It’s not worth the aggravation and disappointment that follows. I go out of my way to help others and I end up on the short end of the stick. Be it loaning someone money, extending them credit, setting them up in breeding from construction of a reptile room, building a rack system to breeding projects, trying to help them get their business up and running or bailing them out of jail (to name a few instances recently) I end up moving 5 steps backwards while they move forward. Oh sure, there appears to be gratitude (be it real or not I guess I’ll never know) before, during and briefly after the help but when it comes time to repay what is owed I get little to none and as I said, I’m done.

Just yesterday alone I had two friends tell me they would be getting me the money they owed me and I got nothing, zip, nada, zilch. It’s not the money (yay! Top Ramen soup week) really but hell, when I have someone who tells me they are my friend and I can’t even be given the common courtesy of a phone call to let me know they aren’t/weren’t going to meet as planned, or even return the call I made (actually I have received a call since I started writing this but I need time to process it) or respond to the e-mail I sent (again, just got that and it too needs processing), why should I bother anymore? I’ve been told to “sue me”, ignored completely, lied to, lied about and I have talked to more voice mails then I care to count. The good feeling I get when I help someone is over shadowed by the disappointment that follows. It’s like having sex and then getting kicked in the balls (sometimes repeatedly) afterwards. Again I ask, why should I bother? Would you? I think it’s time to take my bruised balls and become a hermit and leave helping others out to some other poor bastard.

Though, I’m now guessing the masochist I must be, I’ve said this time and time again and yet I still go out of my way time and time again to help someone and then find myself saying to myself, “self, why in the hell do you continue to do this?” I can’t find the answer and I’m not sure it would even matter anyhow. I say this daily and I’m pretty sure every single one of you who reads this has probably have already said the following once or twice this weekend too, PEOPLE SUCK! There seems to be no way around it. I’m just sick of the disappointment after helping someone out.

So I guess in closing this bitch fest, it would not be a good time for anyone to ask any favors of me. DO NOT ENABLE ME!