Can people really change?

Terese,
Without getting into the details, I think that you will see that you have compared actions to actions. I believe that the moral of your story is that "A" is better than "B" when the full body of their actions are compared, although "B" donated more money. The manifestation of the superior "intentions" of merchant "A" were measured by their greater quantity of action.
Getting back to the original gist of things (I think), but it would be that intentions are fiction, and will always be that until the tangible fact of actions.

"But I really want to change for the better."
"OK, prove it."

We all change, none of us are the people we were say 20 years ago(for those who have been around well more than 20 years lol) Life experience changes you.

Now can a bad person become a good person? sure .. And vice versa. But I as well think there is something more to the question being asked here. Randy

Originally Posted by Chameleon Company

Terese,
Without getting into the details, I think that you will see that you have compared actions to actions. I believe that the moral of your story is that "A" is better than "B" when the full body of their actions are compared, although "B" donated more money. The manifestation of the superior "intentions" of merchant "A" were measured by their greater quantity of action.
Getting back to the original gist of things (I think), but it would be that intentions are fiction, and will always be that until the tangible fact of actions.

"But I really want to change for the better."
"OK, prove it."

I think, and it's quite possible I'm wrong, that what she meant was that A worked with honour and integrity.

B didn't.

Sometimes it's HOW you play the game, not whether you win or loose. heh heh heh

Wes,
Glad you figured it out, cause I'm still scratching my head, and its starting to bleed Terese, I think I know what you meant, and agree that we all believe in genuine good intentions. For better or worse, some time ago I became a "don't tell me, just shut-up and do it" individual. While it may sound a bit harsh, it also cuts-to-the-chase real quick.
Lucille, I don't know what you were pondering as you made the thread-starting post. But whether it be drug addiction, or some other terrible behavior traits that needed to end, every person that I have ever known that made that change may have had some help, such as rehab, etc, but that the ultimate change of direction occurred when they looked at themselves in one of those epiphany moments. While realized obligations to a spouse, family, employer, friends, etc, may have been motivators, the only motivation that was strong enough to see it through was the commitment to oneself. Being better for someone else just wasn't going to carry the load. Knowing you needed to be better for yourself, with the added knowledge that all around you would also benefit, will get it done.

Originally Posted by Chameleon Company

Lucille, I don't know what you were pondering as you made the thread-starting post. .

The idea for this thread came from a combination of two events: One, a recent business thread here on Fauna where a person stated they were changing for the better, and from the evidence shown so far, that did not happen.
And at about the same time one of my sons had to go through a difficult situation involving someone he knew; he learned a lot about life from the experience
I hope for their own sakes people can indeed make changes, but with these recent thoughts in mind, I asked y'all for your own opinions and experiences and thoughts.
Particularly when youngsters are involved, one hopes that they can see the light and make changes in themselves and go on to have a better life.

Don't know your son's age, or that of his friend, and it is not important to the thread IMO. I have seen major course corrections, where the change needed was both fundamental and significant, occur in the 20-25 year-old period. Hope all is well.

Originally Posted by lucille

The idea for this thread came from a combination of two events: One, a recent business thread here on Fauna where a person stated they were changing for the better, and from the evidence shown so far, that did not happen.
And at about the same time one of my sons had to go through a difficult situation involving someone he knew; he learned a lot about life from the experience
I hope for their own sakes people can indeed make changes, but with these recent thoughts in mind, I asked y'all for your own opinions and experiences and thoughts.
Particularly when youngsters are involved, one hopes that they can see the light and make changes in themselves and go on to have a better life.

Well as far as the thread on the BOI, my hope is that this person learned that this type of behavior will not be tolerated here and will quickly be exposed.

My hope for you son learned a valueable life lesson without to much pain or trouble for himself.

Thanks Laura and Jim. He might come up from college for a day just to visit this weekend. He, and we all, make our own choices but sometimes it is good to have someone listen as I do to him.
He is at that time of life where he is figuring out more about his world, and other people, he makes his choices but I'm there to listen to his thoughts..

Originally Posted by lucille

I have friends that go back more than 30 years. They are older now, and a bit wiser perhaps, but otherwise pretty much the same people they were years and decades ago when I first met them.

Sometimes, people attempt to change who and what they are.

Every once in a while, those put in prison choose to try to travel the right road from then on and become law abiding citizens.
Sometimes people who have relationship problems, who are on the verge of divorce, vow they will try anew so that the relationship will succeed.
People 'get religion' and devote their lives to following the precepts of that religion.
Sometimes, because of a major life event such as a birth of a child, people who never tried very hard before get the incentive to go forth and really make something of themselves.

Does this last? In your opinion, are we what we are born to be, or can we make fundamental and lasting changes to who we really are?

I really hope we can change... I have been a loser and dork all of my life and would love to change that lol...

You sound like you want to take a new direction in your life, and change some things?