25 Things you'd love to say at work

1. I can see your point, but I still think your full of crap.
2. I’ll try being nicer if you’ll try being smarter.
3. I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
4. I don’t know what your problem is, but I bet it’s hard to pronounce.
5. I’m really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
6. Ahhh…I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.
7. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
8. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
9. Does everyone visualize duct tape over your mouth so early into the conversation?
10. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about your being competent.
11. Thank you. We’re all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
12. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
13. What am I? Fly paper for freaks!
14. And your cry-baby whiny-butt opinion would be?
15. Do I look a people person?
16. I started out with nothing and still have most of it left.
17. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
18. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
19. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
20. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
21. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
22. How do I set a laser pointer to stun?
23. How about never? Is never good for you?
24. The fact that no one understands you doesn’t mean you’re an artist.
25. CHAOS, PANIC, & DISORDER – my work is done here.

Those are hilarious!!!Ironically i ahve said about three of those at work.

Originally posted by DThomas
1. I can see your point, but I still think your full of crap.
2. I’ll try being nicer if you’ll try being smarter.

4. I don’t know what your problem is, but I bet it’s hard to pronounce.
5. I’m really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
6. Ahhh…I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.


9. Does everyone visualize duct tape over your mouth so early into the conversation?
10. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about your being competent.
11. Thank you. We’re all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
12. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
13. What am I? Fly paper for freaks!

15. Do I look a people person?
16. I started out with nothing and still have most of it left.
17. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
18. If I throw a stick, will you leave?

20. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
21. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
22. How do I set a laser pointer to stun?
23. How about never? Is never good for you?
24. The fact that no one understands you doesn’t mean you’re an artist.
25. CHAOS, PANIC, & DISORDER – my work is done here.

I said all of these when working for Verizon Wireless.

I said all of these when working for Verizon Wireless.

You must have been in customer service then

I was working in a retail location assisting the sales reps. Because I dressed nicer than any employee it was assumed by customers that I was the manager, and the manager was content to let me be the first line of defense against irate customers. It was fun.