apology and lame excuses...

Yesterday, I lost my temper with Chad Elmore on this forum and I would like to apologize publicly. I rarely 'go off' on people, but it seems like I've been doing that more often lately, and when I do I always feel terrible afterwards. For what it's worth, I didn't sleep very well last night obsessing over it... partly still pissed off at Chad, and partly pissed off at myself. I think it's easier to be pissed off at someone else than it is to be at yourself...

I do have some excuses for my behavior, although I am not expecting anyone to get out their violins, or even respond to this post. As many of you know, I am disabled with severe FMS/MCSS as well as spinal and cervical spondylosis. There is no cure or effective treatment for my diseases, and I live in pain 24/7... with the only relief being morphine and steroids. It's hard to describe what it is like living in chronic pain, but it would be like having a total body toothache that never goes away... and it causes me to have a very short fuse sometimes. This, along with being a 50-year old woman in dire need of estrogen, no vacation in 2 years, and running Golden Gate Geckos as a one-woman operation, is making me a total bitch!

I am still responsible for my own actions regardless of any excuse, and although I cannot take back the things I said in yesterday's post, I want to say, "I'm sorry" to Chad and the others on this forum.

I know that wasnt an easy thing to do. Im sure we all know that everyone has there good days and there bad days alike. Not to many people would have apoligised publicly like you did, and i think this forum would be a betterplace wiht more good people like you around.

Terry

your not the only one who lost sleep...

you attacked my creditability as a leopard gecko caretaker, implied that i had numerous skeletons in my closet, implied i was dishonest, threatened to unleash said skeletons to the public, and made me out to be some kid with a couple geckos and an egg that hatched who is now running around with a 'official gecko breeder' badge on. Although chronic pain may explain you losing your temper on me it does NOT however excuse it.

ive seen you do this on "the other forum" to someone else and i noticed you in turn reacted in the same fashion... public apology and all. every time i post, it seems, you jump on the opportunity to belittle me and make me seem like a dyslexic child learning to read. what you KNOW is that i am involved with diablo snake farm (part owner) and that i have in fact been working with and researching genetic morphs in reptiles much longer than ive owned geckos.

i understand the idea of "whose he think he is coming in our gecko forum and acting like he knows everything" but i certainly dont agree with it. maybe too much focus has been put on the leopard gecko community and not enough on the animals themselves.

people who work with other reptiles are bound to discover leopard geckos. and some of them will decide to begin working with them. and they may even try to apply the same genetic rules to leopard geckos that apply to the reptile they were formerly involved with (not that im saying everyone will sell off their hognose collection to start breeding leopard geckos like i did), and in some cases a fresh perspective may be needed.

what robin did was completely out of line. without knowing who i am or what i know she attacked me after i made a comment about the hostility i felt she had aimed towards not only Ric, but the geckos he produces.

as i mentioned i own some of these geckos, so i did in fact have what i felt was a justifiable reason for defending him and his geckos, that and i've spoken with him for a looooong time over the phone and felt that he was being unjustly accused of bad husbandry skills, doctoring pictures and lying about breeding his animals.

by challenging one of the respected people of the (didnt all the serious leopard gecko people just recently in the past 3 or 4 months move over to this forum cause they were tired of answering 'is this cricket the right size for my 2 month old gecko' questions that all too often fill the pages of the kingsnake.com leopard gecko forum) faunaclassifieds leopard gecko forum i put my self in a bad position where not only did i have to taste her wrath but the wrath of others who felt my reaction to her wrath was out of line.

i guess what im getting at is it seems the punishment for going against the grain or specifying the rules involved with gecko genetics (i dare you to go on kingsnake.com and ask the people in the leopard gecko forum what you will get if you cross a super hypo with an albino leopard gecko, guaranteed if you stand back and read you will learn that CLARIFICATION IS NEEDED.) is being stoned to death in the towne center. it angers a majority of the veteran breeders who have been doing this for 8 or so years so much that they will actually do everything in there power to DESTROY your credibility.

i've been working with leopard geckos for about a year now (i bought my first one from marcia in august of 2003 but that was actually my 7th gecko) and in that time ive aquired what i would consider a very nice breeder stock (i still want a tang bell or two from kelli). i plan on keeping a majority of the 5 hatchlings, 8 eggs (plus two females are still laying) and 15 breeders i have until at least next year when every female i have will be ready to lay and i will have about one hundred hatchlings to care for (i think that would qualify me as a breeder...don't you?) and sell. this year alone i foresee about 30 or more hatchlings. not alot... but i am just begining.

Jerimiah (now official snake guy at diablo snake farm) cares for numerous species and subspecies of king, milk, and gopher snakes along with hognose, Jungle carpet pythons, and ALOT of other little things that you wont see on the website, yet.

We both will stand around discussing the laws of genetics till our faces turn blue. if you mention reptiles during that discussion than you better get comfortable because we may just bore you into a coma. im not saying i know it all. and he wouldn't make such a claim either. however what we do know we will happily share using any available avenue...including the leopard gecko forum at faunaclassifieds. if thats a crime... than im guilty.

so love me or hate me.... but leave my creditability as a reptile breeder and caretaker out of any discussion that is clearly not about that.

and marcia... though i appreciate the sentiment...im still very upset with the claims you made about me yesterday on this forum. I sympathize with your situation but refuse to be a victim of it.

I also apologize for some of the statements I made yesterday but had I not been attacked in the fashion I was, those comments wouldn’t have been made to begin with.

Which thread did this happen on?

i still staunchly stand behond my statements and remind you of the fact i think you are a know it alll wanna be breeder and yeah and dont forget douche bag.....
oh and i do agree at times i can be a bitch and your point is??? not like im gonna lie about it.
have a GREAT day!!!!!

Originally posted by robin d.
i still staunchly stand behond my statements and remind you of the fact i think you are a know it alll wanna be breeder and yeah and dont forget douche bag.....
oh and i do agree at times i can be a bitch and your point is??? not like im gonna lie about it.
have a GREAT day!!!!!

Robin, you do realize that I couldn't let that one slide without a warning. Disagree as y'all might, "douche bag" is a teensy wee bit over the top.

Robin, you do realize that I couldn't let that one slide without a warning. Disagree as y'all might, "douche bag" is a teensy wee bit over the top.

Ken,
i expected very well earned points yesterday, didnt get them so i thought i would reiterate my point yet again... specially since he considers be a "bitch" eye for an eye baby

*kiss kiss* lov ya Ken

and dont forget douche bag

as long as it isnt yours.

[quote]as long as it isnt yours.]/quote]

naw vinegar and water isnt my thing..... bring back bad memories of days long past while a child at long john silvers ... its just that smell... yuck


i can admit to being a bitch
i challange you to admit your a "douche bag" are refered to in this thread as well as the other

Chad,

Despite whatever are the credentials of some people, some of us just cannot wind up screwing up and sometimes paint a distorted picture of others due to an emotional outburst whatever the reason. I empathize with you completely, but also feel that the apology you received may be genuine because being somewhat of a hothead myself I too can empathize with Marcia. Sure you should be upset, but take the apology for what it is worth and move on.

As to the other 'lady' who bad mouthed you on this thread, all I can say, in my opinion, is her colors seem to run true; and in my opinion, those colors show her to be less than a nice person and certainly an ill tempered one who probably, in my estimation, comes to these forums only to stir the pot to get some sort of weird self satisfaction from being nasty. It is a shame you have to put up with it, or that any of us have to put up with it. We, in my viewpoint, can only hope she will reach her warning point cap soon and be banned from the site for a while, at least until she decides to be a bit more civil and realize that she need not foul mouth others to make her point.

In the mean time it is better to remain civil even if you are mad. It is a good feeling when you can look back and see that you maintained despite the heat.

Best regards,
Glenn Bartley