So...what to do when you're told "If you breed snakes this season, I'm leaving you?"

Originally Posted by SamanthaJane13

I'd be Craig's List-ing the toys you bought him selling his Hoggies and Leos, and telling him not to let the door hit him in the ass when he leaves.

You were up front with him when you started seeing him, and he's done little to assist with the budget, so he doesn't get to tell you how to spend your money.

He isn't even carrying his own weight!!

Tell him to get out and grow a pair.

But..but...but..I love the hoggies If he tries to leave and take Franz (male het albino hog), I'm going to kick him. He's touched him like 3 times in the past 2 years.

Originally Posted by snakechaarmer

But..but...but..I love the hoggies If he tries to leave and take Franz (male het albino hog), I'm going to kick him. He's touched him like 3 times in the past 2 years.

Then keep the hoggies and sell the Leos and all the rest of the stuff you got him-then kick his free-loading ass to the curb.

You don't need a full grown man around who acts like a child and expects you to support him.

Originally Posted by SamanthaJane13

Then keep the hoggies and sell the Leos and all the rest of the stuff you got him-then kick his free-loading ass to the curb.

You don't need a full grown man around who acts like a child and expects you to support him.

My boyfriend works as a kennel tech at a local vet hospital, and that helps with the vet discount for the cats/dogs/etc, but he makes very little money and I understand that. That being so, he pays for electricity and phone bills, and helps with horse feed and groceries when possible.

I don't think he expects her to support him. The way I read the post, he does make money even if it's a little and helps her out PLUS does work with the animals.

It may be with his own needs becoming so much more immediate, that he's feeling the pinch of helping her out.

I do not agree with what he said, and he would definitely be gone if he was with me (been there done that...but the man was complaining about how much TIME I spent with the animals) but apparently, he's bringing SOMETHING in that helps out?

Originally Posted by deborahbroadus

I don't think he expects her to support him. The way I read the post, he does make money even if it's a little and helps her out PLUS does work with the animals.

It may be with his own needs becoming so much more immediate, that he's feeling the pinch of helping her out.

I do not agree with what he said, and he would definitely be gone if he was with me (been there done that...but the man was complaining about how much TIME I spent with the animals) but apparently, he's bringing SOMETHING in that helps out?

As I said before, he pays for a few of the bills: electricity, phone/internet, trash, and sometimes horse feed and some groceries. That's pretty much all he's able to pay. And I understand that, because he doesn't make as much as me.

However, the job he has now is a 29 mile one way trip. It's a vet hospital that has promised him for a year that he would be promoted to full "vet tech" status, so he could have a raise and a better schedule. Every time they re-do their schedule, he asks about it, and they don't do it. They are severely under-staffed and they keep hiring more techs instead of promoting him.

So now, from August - December, because they won't hire more kennel tech people, he is literally working every other weekend, 16 days in a row, for like $8 an hour. He works M-F and every other weekend, 4 days out of the week he is literally there sunup to past sundown because he has a split shift. 7am-11am, then 4pm-6pm. Most days he's there he doesn't even work a full 8 hours.

So that being said, he does work a lot. But he won't stand up for himself to his manager about the schedule thing, he wont go back to school, and he won't go try and find a better job with better hours.

I do most of the work at home by myself, and as I said before, I literally live out in the middle of nowhere and If I'm not at work I'm usually alone. He does help when he can with the animals, but most of the time he is gone.

This thread just makes me understand woman even less. I just don't understand it.

Originally Posted by snakechaarmer

So that being said, he does work a lot. But he won't stand up for himself to his manager about the schedule thing, he wont go back to school, and he won't go try and find a better job with better hours.

I do most of the work at home by myself.

Right now a LOT of people are overworked. They do not want to complain because the alternative is unemployment.

Maybe you two would be better off by yourselves. If you can't afford your place by yourself, maybe you could lease it out.

The more I hear, the more I think BOTH of you are using the other person for convenience. You are frustrated by lack of help and economic pressures. He is frustrated by long hours, lack of promotion, and economic pressures.

At first reading I was thinking he was giving you an ultimatum. Now I see that he is not a bad guy, that there are stresses and shortcomings on both sides and not enough communication. Why don't you print out this thread and read it with him, perhaps both of you will be able to see each others point of view better.

Originally Posted by lucille

Right now a LOT of people are overworked. They do not want to complain because the alternative is unemployment.

Maybe you two would be better off by yourselves. If you can't afford your place by yourself, maybe you could lease it out.

The more I hear, the more I think BOTH of you are using the other person for convenience. You are frustrated by lack of help and economic pressures. He is frustrated by long hours, lack of promotion, and economic pressures.

At first reading I was thinking he was giving you an ultimatum. Now I see that he is not a bad guy, that there are stresses and shortcomings on both sides and not enough communication. Why don't you print out this thread and read it with him, perhaps both of you will be able to see each others point of view better.

I agree with you there, that a lot of people are overworked and he does have frustrations on his end - my point is with his job, he doesn't do anything to fix it or make it better.

I'm not frustrated by lack of help, I'm just frustrated because I'm alone a lot. i don't mind working by myself. It sucks, because the animals I don't really consider "work" and I wish I could be sharing the time with him, someone I love.

However, he actually DID give me an ultimatum. I flat out asked him "Are you breaking up with me because of the snakes?" And he replied "If you choose to ignore my feelings and breed them this year anyway, then yes".

He hasn't spoken to me since 3pmish on Friday. He is frustrated about his car, and about the dentist/doctor crap. I can't do anything about those issues, and he is trying to I guess pretend that I can. We aren't married. He's not on my insurance, and even without snakes I couldn't afford to buy him a car. Honestly, the true part is he couldn't be living at all like he is now without my helping him. Maybe I have "enabled him" a little bit a long the way, and that is my fault - but I never dreamed that after 2 years he'd do a complete 180 and try and take the small happinesses that I have away from me and attempt to make me choose.

Originally Posted by charleshanklin

This thread just makes me understand woman even less. I just don't understand it.

What don't you understand? I'm sorry to be confusing.

Originally Posted by snakechaarmer

I.

However, he actually DID give me an ultimatum. I flat out asked him "Are you breaking up with me because of the snakes?" And he replied "If you choose to ignore my feelings and breed them this year anyway, then yes".

You are not seeing that there is much more there than the snakes. And I would love to hear his side of all this.

You are doing a lot of explaining and defending and spending a lot of time with us. But it sounds like the situation there had deteriorated to the point where you need to make some choices regardless of perceived fault.

He seems to be anxious about money and in this economic climate that is not too strange. Y'all need more money than you are bringing in, but that doesn't mean that there is fault here. Maybe you should look at your priorities and make some choices.

Originally Posted by lucille

You are not seeing that there is much more there than the snakes. And I would love to hear his side of all this.

You are doing a lot of explaining and defending and spending a lot of time with us. But it sounds like the situation there had deteriorated to the point where you need to make some choices regardless of perceived fault.

He seems to be anxious about money and in this economic climate that is not too strange. Y'all need more money than you are bringing in, but that doesn't mean that there is fault here. Maybe you should look at your priorities and make some choices.

I'm not going to re-prioritize my life for someone who has no intentions of real commitment anywhere in the near future, and expects me to change parts of my life and personality on a whim after living peacably for 2 years just because he needs a new car.

If he'd speak, I'd be happy to try to explain where he's coming from and why he's freaking out all of the sudden, but he isn't. So I guess ultimately, it's all speculation.


Thanks for your input, and I guess everyone is entitled to their own opinion. I chose to "spend time here" because I thought maybe I'd find some people who could relate to the situation? If not, then I apologize.