Herper's nite out....

Awwww Kevin, thankyou I hope i find him sooner than later hehe, i really want to settle down. Having a family of my own (other than just animals) seems to be on my mind more so now than ever.

I'm off to work now........

Thanks again
Red

My explanation...for Brian.

I firmly believe that one can have a great relationship with anyone as long as their is good communication. Kindness, consideration and effort is a must too but without communication, even the best of relationships are doomed to failure. Another important aspect of any relationship is that you only get back what you're willing to put in.

It's more pleasant to be with someone you like and get along with than someone that you love but that you aren't well suited for. Now, while that spark is important, I realize that that sometimes comes later.

I know myself, I know my needs, my wants, etc. and I'm not afraid to voice them but I'm not so stuck in my ways that I'm not open to things that may be different than what I expected. I'm open and honest; all one has to do is ask. But, when getting to know people, things aren't always what they seem and some clouds have a really terrific silver lining. My commitment marker is sex. Once I've slept with someone, they're stuck with me because if things have gotten that far, I've decided there's some potential there. Therefore, I always make sure I know what the other person's expections, goals and wants are first. I'm not into casual sex.

So, what I mean by a "serial monogomist" is that I tend to go from one commited relationship to the next. I date multiple people until I find someone that has potential and then I see where it goes...I don't keep looking while I'm giving someone a chance. I keep myself way too busy to try to keep track of multiple people. I just can't do it when I have 3 kids and a bazillion critters to take care of too. Besides, in my experience, if you're "looking," you don't find it anyway. People aren't attracted to "looking." It's when you aren't looking that what you want comes along. LOL!

My history over the past 9 years: I spent 5 years married, had two sons. Just after my husband and I split up, I met my ex and that lasted 2 1/2 years. Most recent was a boyfriend that last 6 months but didn't work out. I tend not to stay un-coupled for very long, as I am happier when I have a partner and I'm a fairly like-able person.

Make sense? LOL!

I tend to agree with most of what you said Sybella as it was a good post.
Communication is also tops on my list right up there with honesty. If one or both parties stop talking and sharing its a downward spiral after that.
The only thing really different for me is going from one relationship to another. I have lived on my own for three years now, and I enjoy it. I have enough to keep me busy and am very proud of the kids. I am just now getting to the point where I would welcome male friendships. I guess I just like where I am at, my house is half paid off, I am content and a homebody so I do not go out much. When I do I make the most of it and am content again.
I also do not "look". I do not feel I have to, I am satisfied with myself and who I am enough not to. If it happens someday, more power to us, if it doesn't, I may date from time to time, but all in all its ok.
Don't get me wrong, there is something very nice with the thought of growing old with someone and sharing your life with someone and sitting on the front porch or sitting by the fireplace, camping ect. But it is not an end all for me. I am not closed to any possibilities but definitely not needing that so bad that I am willing to make another mistake.

Oh and fishing, did I mention fishing? I know not too many think that is a great time out, BUT I DO. Can't wait for the salmon runs out here, I get awefully wet trying to catch those things and pulled in a lot, but its great!!!!

LOL!! Everyone is different...I like interaction and enjoy family and friends around me all the time. I'd be happy in a commune! LOL!! But, some people are content alone and that's fine too...it's just not me! I asked a friend once how she did it day after day. By "did it," I mean, staying home by herself without company while her husband was at work all week. She said, "If you aren't happy alone, you just haven't been alone enough." Part of me understands but the other part just doesn't get it! I get a lot of my adult social interaction by posting on forums but even that isn't enough for me. I'm just not the "alone" type.

LOL, I totally understand that, but that is what makes meeting new people great, all the differences. I have an acre outside of town but not too far so if I need or want to go into town its not far, but not so close I know what my neighbors are doing by just looking out my window, lol. In fact everywhere but the front windows I see trees and lawns. Not too big to be a pain, but not so small I feel hemmed in.
I have my hammock in the front yard and can see cars go by, yeppers, civilization still exists, lol. I do like interacting on the computer but it is the peace and contentment I get here.
But then again what can you expect from a virtual recluse(or as close as I can get) who idols the Addams family, LOL.

OK maybe I am influenced by city life too much but here is how a night out with me usually goes.

The pick up... I always pick my date up at her place. But before hand I give her a choice on what she wants me to pick her up in. Some women don't like my Jeep, so I offer that, my car, or the company truck and let them make the choice.

The meal... I ask if they like anything more so than others in ways of food. I usually try and find a nice small place with great food where they have never eaten before.

The after meal... I give them choices of movie, a club, or anything they might think of that they want to do. (Note all dates are usually done when the local malls are closed)

The drop off.... No expectations here. I will walk them to their door and make sure they arrive back as safe as they left. I get invited in no biggie, I don't still no biggie. Depending on the day of the week dates will usually end around midnight to 3 am.

Yeppers, ten years ago that would have been great for me, still is from time to time. As I was raised outside of Chicago in the "burbs" and lived 10 years in Denver, I have had my fill of city life. (Occasionally, it is nice and can adapt to a great time) but for the most part for me now, its the country, with access to a city when I want it.
Sounds like nice dates you go on Brian, hopefully someday you will find someone out there just right for you and have a lasting relationship, good luck

Well on average I look at it like this.... Meal will usually be anywhere from 60 to 200 bucks depending on the resturant. Movie 16 to 40 bucks depending on if snacks and drinks are bought. But sometimes I am even shocked by what happens. Cheapest date was total investment og around 30 bucks. most expensive was around 1,800 but that included a 1,000 dollar bottle of wine which was sinful because it was so good. I do believe it was a 1982 Latour and rated above 98 points.

I think your simple problem is in your signature .. under your name ...


"womanizer"


maybe in lieu of all your self boasting and " perfect dates" you should try to change the way you really treat a woman . The key to being what you stive to be would definately change the way or what you consider yourself .

not ment to flame you but when you yourself consider yourself a womanizer im sure in it conveys in the way you come across to the woman you date and therefore may help in create the way they in turn react to you ( slashing tires ???)