“13 Reasons Why.”
April 16th, 2009
“These past months have been incredible. I have an amazing girlfriend, amazing friends who have taken the place of my family. I no longer love my mother like I did and have no respect for my dad and can’t believe I ever respected him like I did. And my eyes have been opened to something that I always had a feeling was there and have always been drown to but just thought I was stupid for even thinking like that. I am close to getting a job then I can move in with my girlfriend, HeatherAnn Bartlett. I don’t know where we are going to live but I don’t really care just as long as I am with her. I don’t know if she really knows how much she means to me. Apparently, like Becky, she has f***ed a lot with a lot of people which I try to forget about. But she doesn’t bring it up all the time like Becky did. I don’t want to feel like just another one. Becky makes fun of me for being a virgin.”
“But I try to remember what is really important to me. First off, the survival of my friends and me is top priority. Heather is next and to take care of myself physically, mentally, and spiritually…….”
“I was sitting outback tonight waiting for you to call. I wanted to tell you about a dream I had but I think it was just Paymon f***ing with me. While I was out there I heard a really strange laugh. Kind of like Adam does but then I saw a dark object fall from the tree. Do you think we should ask Adam about it?.....”
May 13, 2009
“…I have been feeling like you will never be able to love me and I feel like shit. I did not want to do this but it is obvious to me that I am not meant for this. I am thinking that I am going to leave again but this time I am going all the way. There will be no turning back. I am sorry I am this way. I wanted to be perfect for you. I wanted to be the one to make your world whole. I didn’t have any doubt in my head we would be happy together forever until now.”
These are excerpts from Joel’s journal I read after he died. I missed the signs. I didn’t read his journal because I gave him privacy. I regret that now and I wish I had not. But we had a perfect life up until he met these kids in October, 2008. It changed him and in 6 months he was dead. They took everything he loved from him and turned him around. He no longer wanted to fly-fish or work with his forge or his garden. He lost interest in his pets, primarily a cockatoo. He cut his hair to a close-crop and shaved his beard but I figured that was because his girlfriend was a bitch. He became despondent and rude to his parents and his grades plunged. He died May 15th, just 3 days before he would have graduated, after walking all night; 30 miles in the rain. He crossed Hwy. 17 in Bowling Green and walked into the path of a semi.
I applaud NetFlix for releasing “13 Reasons Why.” It will at least get the conversation rolling. Kids are binge watching it. Parents need to take note and watch with them and open a dialogue with your kids. Suicide is now the second leading cause of death in teens. It is an epidemic.
I tried for several years to get a program started here in Polk County Schools to bring attention to the epidemic of teen suicide. But no one wanted to talk or take the time. Excuse after excuse how they didn’t have time in their schedule to run the kids through a 20 minute presentation I provided along with written material I paid for and would have given to them. It became exasperating and depressing to even try and I gave up.
“13 Reasons Why” focuses on today’s issues with sexting, date rape, bullying, and problems with social media our kids face in this wonderful, gadget oriented society. And of course, the tragic end.
I hope you will watch it with your kids before they watch it without you. In my opinion, there lies the issue. They need you to watch it with them. This is rated for mature audiences and several of the final episodes have strong written warnings at the beginning about the content within. There are those who feel “13 Reasons Why” will glorify teen suicide. I don’t feel this way after watching it. It drives home just how raw and how easy it is to slip into the feelings of despair and hopelessness and how deep they cut.
I had mixed feelings about watching “13 Reasons Why” but in the end when Hanna said, “Do you see the signs?” “Do you?” “This is what it looks like.” “That’s right.” “There are none.”
I certainly missed it and it haunts me every f***ing day.
Joel Anthony Thorn, January 29, 1991 – May 15, 2009
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