An Awful Adoption Experience

[SilverRaichu]

Some of you know I am trying to adopt a dog. I started searching after the loss of Lucky, my 16 year old border collie mix. Its been hard because I am quite picky, I know what I'm looking for, I know what I want in my future dog which is why I'm having trouble finding what I'm looking for.

(please dont send me links to rescues, petfinder, craigslist etc. I am writing this to share my story, and to add i have check every rescue/shelter from upstate ny to as far down south as georgia and as far west to ohio. chances are whatever you send me I saw it already)


So in my early search I did find a dog that I loved who I felt was perfect to me. He was located in a rescue a few hours from me in new york state. I am in northern new jersey but I am willing to travel for the right dog. But unfortunately he got adopted before I put in an application. So it was back to square one. After several searches on Petfinder, I cam across Connor, a border collie located in Knotts Island North Carolina.
I fell in love with him as I did with the dog in NY. I put in an application for him, but they declined me due to distance. Again, back to square one. But after a few weeks of searching, I couldnt shake him off me so with some helpful advice, I emailed them twice asking them to reconsider my application. I told them a little about myself, told them that I work at petsmart and I am knowledgeable with with pet nutrition, different kinds of toys, treats, etc, I also told them that I had a border collie and that I am experienced with this breed f dog. Also adding that I am willing to come down to pick him up and return him in the unlikely event that things didnt work out. From me to them is a little over 7 hrs and I was sure to add that in the email to give them an idea on how far I was. After this I surprising received a response that they would be interest in adopting him to me and that they would like to talk to me on the phone. So i responded with my phone number and let them know when I was available.
They didnt call the next day, two days later I emailed them on my day of letting them know that I was available to to speak to them anytime that day and still no word. A week went by still no word so I posted on their facebook page to see why they hadnt contacted me. I even tried to call them no answer. Finally after 2 and a half weeks, I left a final post on their facebook page. So once again, back to square one.
I dont understand why a rescue would tell me they would adopt to me and completely ignore me. This was upsetting to me. I really felt this dog was the best choice for me. The fact that someone would to this to someone else like that just shows me that some people cant be trusted no matter who and where they are

this is the rescue https://www.facebook.com/pages/Forever-Home-Rehabilitation-Center/183745341669918?fref=ts

I hope that no one else should be treated unfairly as I did.

 

[Lucille]

Stephanie,

I am so sorry this happened to you. Tt sounds like you found the perfect dog and that you are really upset because at the last minute, the shelter people stopped communicating with you.

It is difficult to know what happened. There are some people in rescue that have God complexes and seem to delight in not adopting, rather than adopting.
But there could be another explanation, or a number of explanations, that may not be obvious.
The rescue may be very busy making plans to house extra dogs in the upcoming storm. The dog may be ill and perhaps they are concentrating on seeing whether it will get well. All guesses. But it would have been good of them to at least say something.

Perhaps you could try Craigslist or a different shelter. I wish you the best, you sound like an awesome critter owner.

 

[SilverRaichu]

Stephanie,

I am so sorry this happened to you. Tt sounds like you found the perfect dog and that you are really upset because at the last minute, the shelter people stopped communicating with you.

It is difficult to know what happened. There are some people in rescue that have God complexes and seem to delight in not adopting, rather than adopting.
But there could be another explanation, or a number of explanations, that may not be obvious.
The rescue may be very busy making plans to house extra dogs in the upcoming storm. The dog may be ill and perhaps they are concentrating on seeing whether it will get well. All guesses. But it would have been good of them to at least say something.

Perhaps you could try Craigslist or a different shelter. I wish you the best, you sound like an awesome critter owner.

Thank you. Regardless of what ever was going on, I just wish I could of gotten some sort of explanation. While I agree with all the possibilities as to why they never answered me, I doubt the storm, only because this goes back exactly 3 weeks from today. I would check with thier facebook to see if they were active and responded to other people who commented or posted and they would. Everytime I tried to look at all the reasonable explanations it just goes back to the fact that I got no response to a single email or phone call. I know long distance adopting is difficult, and I was willing to do everything I could to make it as easy as possible. I know people in rescue who would of been willing to work on my behave and perform a vet/home inspection for them. I just dont understand how people can be this way especially those to claim to want to find their dogs good homes.

Thank you for responding I hope things turn out. i do have an ad on cl incase anyone does have anything out their to my criteria

 

[Shadera]

I'm sorry to hear you're going through this.

Rescues seem to be getting tougher to adopt from these days. Many will pass up perfectly good, suitable homes that would provide lifelong love for the animals, in search of that one perfect home that may or may not exist. How anyone manages to adopt, I have no idea. We'd love to adopt an animal, and have the means and time. But An hour or so looking at adoption applications and policies is enough to turn me to just purchasing a pet instead. Although even now most of those folks want your life history. How many rescues are shooting themselves in the foot by having too many hoops to jump through? How is it not a disservice to the animals?

Best of luck, I hope you find your perfect companion, and someone out there sees what a wonderful, loving home you'd be.

 

[hhmoore]

I agree, many of the rescues have unrealistic requirements. I understand that they are trying to find great homes for the dogs in their care, but there is more to a great home than a 6 ft fence. I know many people, myself included, that were declined by rescues...and, without exception, all searched for - and found - dogs elsewhere.

To the OP - don't lose hope. A few years ago, I was searching for another dog, and went through a lot of the same frustrations. Breeders that simply stopped responding when they found out that I already had a dog; rescues that deemed me/mine an unfit home; and the long distance adoption that got thwarted by the system. I eventually got my dog - THE dog - and couldn't be happier with him. He was worth every bit of the aggravation I went through to get him here.
Best of luck

 

[ShadowAceD]

I've decided I'm done with "rescues" for this kind of crap. I understand breeders being selective, but for organizations that always seem to be full and always seem desparate to find their dogs their forever home, they sure are inhibitive.

A lot of the people I have encountered in recent years are snobby, have beyond unrealistic expectations and a bias towards different people for different reasons.

I have been denied for being a military spouse, for "working too often", because of the food I choose to feed my dogs (Blue Buffalo), because I keep boas that could unlock their cages, open their door and eat the dog (a GSD, mind you), because I have another neutered male, because I refused to have the dog fixed until he was over a year old as to not disrupt his growth hormones ... etc. etc. etc.

My most recent two dogs were not from rescues. One was from a kill shelter and the other wandered up to my house a few times so I kept her. My next dog, whenever that is, will be from a breeder. However, if I ever rescue again, it will only be from a kill shelter. Those dogs apparently need it more and you are not likely to be turned down. You also face a significantly lowered adoption fee in most instances.

Good luck in your search, Stephanie. When you find the right dog, you'll get them and they'll live a long happy life with you. Every dog I have was not the "intended" animal, and the circumstances I found them by was never planned, but it all worked out in the end.

 

[SilverRaichu]

Thank you for your responses
I'm glad I'm not the only person who feels this way about adoption policies and requirments. I've been seeing this going on for quite sometime and always wanted to bring it up as a topic somewhere but was afraid it might backfire, especially at my job (petsmart), I am surrounded by rescue groups.

ShadowAceD- I am surprised you would get declined you for feeding blue buffalo, imo its one of the best foods you can feed your pet. But on the op, I guess I shouldn't be surprised. If a rescue doesn't want someone to adopt one of their dogs then I guess any excuse will work. In your case at least you got a reason. Not that any of them were good ones.

When I adopted the dog I have now, which was about 7 years ago, though the adoption process to me qualified as ridiculous, and I got declined by them twice, the process seems like nothing compared to today. Every adoption application was more ridiculous than the last, even returning from the high kill shelter where my dog came from, they're
Adoption process is crazy. The application asked for my ssn#.I've had more legal documents that didn't even ask for that. And I remember then a home inspection was an option, now everyone requires it. The reason why I wanted and push to try to adopt that dog from NC, because the dog seemed so mean for me and the adoption process was simple.
Though I understand they have good intention for their pets, its like Shadera said, they are shooting themselves in the foot because of all of this.

 

[Lucille]

I think many people like to have some influence and power. Maybe it's human nature, I don't know. I think that is one of the reasons for the rise in gangs- the members feel as if they are now Important, and what had been a relatively ordinary life is suddenly transformed. There is no doubt that some gangs are influential and feared because they sometimes exercise power just for the pleasure of doing it.
Maybe the inordinate number of hoops put in front of potential adopters, the questions, the poking and prodding of someone who just wants a pet, can be explained by this need to feel important. Perhaps some rescues are now the gangstas of the pet world.

 

[Shadera]

Put it this way. We were trying to adopt a cat several years ago. We jumped through the hoops with several rescues. Our main reference, Shawn's boss at the time, has adopted three children from a foreign country. He looked at our adoption application, and said he didn't have to answer questions like that to adopt humans, and couldn't believe we were going through that for a cat.

Eventually, we did find our kitty. A local breeder gave him to us free of charge and without answering a single question on paper, because he was 9 years old and she thought we were good people from meeting us once prior. We've had 4 perfect years together so far. I hope that anyone looking to bring in a homeless critter can find their perfect match so easily.

I agree Lucille, I think some folks do have the power trip thing going on. It's so sad that so many more animals would have solid homes if it weren't for them. People want to do the right thing and adopt, but some of those questions and process are intimidating. Around here, they even want to talk to your neighbors about you.

Maybe we should start a thread in hell to further discuss rescue issues?

 

[SilverRaichu]

That might be a good idea Shadera, I think these issues should be discussed. I believe there are a lot of people who deal with this and it would be nice to have a thread where people can freely talk about their issues with out be "attacked" by those supporting rescue's requirements and policies like on sites like petfinder.

Something about this that really bothers me is that if you get a pet from a pet store, backyard breeder, or licensed breeder, people who support rescue with criticize you for not adopting. Then when you explain you tried to adopt and tell about your troubles with trying to rescue then you'll get a response saying that they had perfectly legitimate reasons for rejecting you. I got an email like this in a response to an ad I put on craigslist saying that I was looking for a bc.
Someone I work with has a purebred he bought from a breeder. He brought it to work the day he bought it and some lady came up to him looking at his puppy saying how cute it was etc etc.. but when she asked what rescue he got it from and he told her the pup was from a breeder, it was like a light switch flipped. She literally argued with him on how terrible he was for not choosing to rescue a homeless pet etc.
It really is a lose/lose situation.

 

[Lucille]

She literally argued with him on how terrible he was

She has no class and no clue. Really, these people are programmed with canned answers. Her security comes from quacking the company quack. How sad.

 

[SirenSanJose]

Put it this way. We were trying to adopt a cat several years ago. We jumped through the hoops with several rescues. Our main reference, Shawn's boss at the time, has adopted three children from a foreign country. He looked at our adoption application, and said he didn't have to answer questions like that to adopt humans, and couldn't believe we were going through that for a cat.

Eventually, we did find our kitty. A local breeder gave him to us free of charge and without answering a single question on paper, because he was 9 years old and she thought we were good people from meeting us once prior. We've had 4 perfect years together so far. I hope that anyone looking to bring in a homeless critter can find their perfect match so easily.

I agree Lucille, I think some folks do have the power trip thing going on. It's so sad that so many more animals would have solid homes if it weren't for them. People want to do the right thing and adopt, but some of those questions and process are intimidating. Around here, they even want to talk to your neighbors about you.

Maybe we should start a thread in hell to further discuss rescue issues?

OMG I want to smooch his little nose! <3 What a beauty!

 

[SilverRaichu]

She has no class and no clue. Really, these people are programmed with canned answers. Her security comes from quacking the company quack. How sad.

Seems like it. I once got the "speech" from a rescue who comes to my job often, because I. Told them my kitten came from a friend who's cat had kittens.
She said "oh you better let your friend know he needs to get that cat fixed" repopulation etc.. diseases, shots needed, spay nueter etc etc

 

[leaveittoweaver]

Ugh. I got turned down from adopting a cat because at one point in time I had a cat that went outdoors. And I don't let my cats outdoors anymore and explained that to them and they still turned me down. Instead I ended up getting my cats from a kill shelter.

 

[Lucille]

Ugh. I got turned down from adopting a cat because at one point in time I had a cat that went outdoors. And I don't let my cats outdoors anymore and explained that to them and they still turned me down. Instead I ended up getting my cats from a kill shelter.

That is a wonderful choice. Those cats you got were faced with euthanasia, and now they have a great life with you.
Kill shelters have some of the best deals anywhere. Here where I live, some of them run 'specials' where the critter only costs $20-$30 to adopt. That includes heartworm test, immunizations, spay/neuter, and often a little gift pack of food samples provided by dog food companies.
Some dogs are 'pulled' by rescues from those very shelters, and then usually the cost rises and there are more hoops to jump through.

 

[AbsoluteApril]

Told them my kitten came from a friend who's cat had kittens. She said "oh you better let your friend know he needs to get that cat fixed" repopulation etc.. diseases, shots needed, spay nueter etc etc

well.. that is some good advice.

A while back I wanted a sphynx cat and planned to go through a rescue instead of a breeder, there are some very 'self important' rescuers out there, that's for sure!

2 of my cats are strays I took in and the 3rd I rescued from a kill shelter. Lucille is right about the 'specials', when I got my boy from the Oakland shelter they were running 50% off, I think I paid $30 for my special fuzzy guy. Some rescues will go through shelters to pull out the 'best' ones but there are some really wonderful animals at kill shelters that deserve a loving home and get overlooked, especially the older ones.

*steps off soapbox*

 

[Shadera]

I agree 100% that it's good advice. But for a rescue person to expect potential adopters to have lived a saintly life according to their rulebook is some mighty high expectation. "I see here you poked your brother in the eye with a stick when you were five. No dog for you!"

I wonder how many of those rescue folks would pass their own evaluations?

 

[ShadowAceD]

The absolute best rescue experience I had was with the New Mexico Siberian Husky Rescue.

I got a dog named Zeke from them some years back. His foster mother, Tracey, had kept the dog pretty much his entire life up until the point I got him. He had been found as a fourth month old after being hit by a car and lived with her until he was three and a half years old. As happy as I was to get him, it tore me up to see her crying as I loaded him up in my truck and headed back to the town we lived in. We drove six hours round trip to meet and get him.

The application process was simple, but what stuck out most to me was that Tracey sat on the phone with me for about three hours talking about this dog with me. That's how she gauged if I was an acceptable applicant to take him. When we went to meet him, we spent another few hours talking and interacting with him.

A year and a half later, Zeke had to be euthanized because of some major mental issues that presented suddenly (likely from nerve damage associated with brain swelling as a puppy).

Anyway, about two months after Zeke was put to sleep, I got a call from Tracey. Another dog we had looked at the same day as Zeke named Luka had managed to find his way back to the rescue when the family that took him in moved and dumped him in a shelter. Tracey, knowing that my husband and I lived in Florida at the time, offered to attach Luka to a "On The Road Again" trip that was bringing another dog to Mobile, Alabama which was only about two and a half hours away. She said that she knew we would care for Luka and would allow us to adopt him without charging us a fee (their fee for dogs that are three and over is 150.00) and without charging us to have him delivered.

I was so touched by the gesture and was beyond myself. I had never had a rescue offer something like that before or go out of their way to maintain contact with me after the death of an animal. However, a week prior, we had adopted Bruce so I had to decline, but to this day that gesture means a lot to me and I still talk to Tracey from time to time.

Luka also finally found his true forever home, for any who wonder.

If I went to a rescue again, I'd gladly go through them, but it was a rare experience for me with a rescue.

 

[SilverRaichu]

I was nearly declined to adopt a cat because my cats were former indoor outdoor cats. My cats were up to dates on shots, and I was younger so I didn't know any better either, they're all indoor now, though I have built an out door enclosure so they can hang out side for a while when the weather is nice, though has yet to be "approved" by
Overly protective cat people.

well.. that is some good advice.

A while back I wanted a sphynx cat and planned to go through a rescue instead of a breeder, there are some very 'self important' rescuers out there, that's for sure!

2 of my cats are strays I took in and the 3rd I rescued from a kill shelter. Lucille is right about the 'specials', when I got my boy from the Oakland shelter they were running 50% off, I think I paid $30 for my special fuzzy guy. Some rescues will go through shelters to pull out the 'best' ones but there are some really wonderful animals at kill shelters that deserve a loving home and get overlooked, especially the older ones.

*steps off soapbox*

It is good advice, but it just seems anything I do is wrong in their eyes. But of course I am still on edge because of the fall through with the NC adoption.

The absolute best rescue experience I had was with the New Mexico Siberian Husky Rescue.

I got a dog named Zeke from them some years back. His foster mother, Tracey, had kept the dog pretty much his entire life up until the point I got him. He had been found as a fourth month old after being hit by a car and lived with her until he was three and a half years old. As happy as I was to get him, it tore me up to see her crying as I loaded him up in my truck and headed back to the town we lived in. We drove six hours round trip to meet and get him.

The application process was simple, but what stuck out most to me was that Tracey sat on the phone with me for about three hours talking about this dog with me. That's how she gauged if I was an acceptable applicant to take him. When we went to meet him, we spent another few hours talking and interacting with him.

A year and a half later, Zeke had to be euthanized because of some major mental issues that presented suddenly (likely from nerve damage associated with brain swelling as a puppy).

Anyway, about two months after Zeke was put to sleep, I got a call from Tracey. Another dog we had looked at the same day as Zeke named Luka had managed to find his way back to the rescue when the family that took him in moved and dumped him in a shelter. Tracey, knowing that my husband and I lived in Florida at the time, offered to attach Luka to a "On The Road Again" trip that was bringing another dog to Mobile, Alabama which was only about two and a half hours away. She said that she knew we would care for Luka and would allow us to adopt him without charging us a fee (their fee for dogs that are three and over is 150.00) and without charging us to have him delivered.

I was so touched by the gesture and was beyond myself. I had never had a rescue offer something like that before or go out of their way to maintain contact with me after the death of an animal. However, a week prior, we had adopted Bruce so I had to decline, but to this day that gesture means a lot to me and I still talk to Tracey from time to time.

Luka also finally found his true forever home, for any who wonder.

If I went to a rescue again, I'd gladly go through them, but it was a rare experience for me with a rescue.

This is how all rescue should be. Rescue should be more personal. You can't get to know someone by reading a 3 page form they were required to fill out. This is what I wanted to do with the NC rescue, they sent me an email saying "will call you tomorrow" my phone was glued to me, I was going to have a conversation and just be completely honest. I was adopting a border collie, a dog I have the most experience in.
I they didn't even give me the decentcy to call/email saying "we changed our minds we're not adopting him to you" or maybe they adopted him to someone else.
I wish I knew someone in east NC who could adopt him for me & id pick him up.
Because of that dog and a dog I had liked before him, I set the bar to high for myself and now I really can't find another dog out there I like.

 

[hadenglock]

As a person who works in a rescue, i do disagree with some of these requirements for adoption ive read. However, be aware adopters, that as a rescue, it is their responsibility to ensure these animals are going to good homes, therefore they will not trust anyone until they have proof that they will take good care of potential adopted animals. Some of the requirements i do agree with when asking a potential adopter would be.
1. the food you will feed them
2. previous animals owned
3. veterinarian records of the previous animals owned.
4. where you live and if you rent or own your own property.
5. Home inspection (this depends on the species of animal being adopted).
6. If the animal is a small mammal or reptile, what their enclosure will be.
7. Personal information about you (I.E. phone number, address, etc....)
8. Why you want to adopt this animal.