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Kineesa 12/23/97 - 3/15/06

PaulSage

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I know I could put this in the Dog Forum, but it belongs here. Besides, you'd have a really tough time convincing Kineesa that she was actually a dog anyway. So, here's my little tribute to her.

Her name:
I know, it's weird. When she was born, a good friend of mine who travelled to Australia and NZ with me had a wheaton terrier named "Kneesa". Her family didn't pronounce the "Kin" though. Anyway, she was named after one of those furry Star Wars wookies (I think they were called wookies, I don't really care for Star Wars/Trek whatever the heck). Well, as you can see, Kineesa looked like one of those when she was a puppy.

KineesaPuppy.jpg

She was only four months old when our new house in the country was finally ready for us to move in, and she was the first dog to live there. Kineesa was Winnie's daughter, and Winnie was Sadie's daughter. Sadie was our first of many Shelties. Here's a picture of Winnie and Kate:

WinnieKate.jpg

Kate is also Winnie's daughter from a later litter--so basically Kineesa's little sister. Anyway, it was several months before the rest of the pack moved out to the new place, and Kineesa decided that she was going to rule the roost. I admit, I spoiled her rotten and let her get away with murder. She was "above" being subjected to the limitations of a real dog (in her mind, at least). Kineesa was also the only one of our dogs that my dad actually liked, and she was the only one who was allowed to sit on the couch with him. (Not that she cared what he had to say about it.)

When I started working at a vet clinic, she would often come with me when I went in alone on weekends to take care of boarding and post-op animals. Even at 10-12 pounds, she was very good at reminding the bigger dogs "who" they were. Yeah, she was a little snot. If she were human, she would have been a spoiled, stuck-up, snotty brat that wears "princess" shirts. :ack2: The main difference being that Kineesa couldn't resist rolling in raccoon crap. I don't know, maybe there's teenage girls out there that do that too though.

In July of '99 after graduating, I moved to Madison. Kineesa came with and was my only pet for over a year.

Here's a picture of Kineesa, taken during summer school in 2000.

KineesaSteps.jpg

Then I got Jersey, my Golden Retriever in August. Kineesa wasn't incredibly thrilled with the idea of living with a real dog at first. With her at 12 pounds, and Jersey at nearly 50, Kineesa would not hesitate to tell Jersey which toys she was allowed to play with.

Shortly thereafter, when Kineesa was about 4 1/2 she was diagnosed with adrenal-based Cushing's disease. (to read more about Cushing's disease, click here.) She quickly started losing bladder control, her fur started falling out, and her joints began to ache. After numerous tests, the vets came up with her diagnosis and gave us the option of putting her on Lysodren. The drug is not a cure for Cushing's disease--at least not for the type of Cushing's that she had. If it were used, it would only be to make her more comfortable, and would not prolong her life. The potential side effects were too risky though, because Kineesa was also diagnosed with an enlarged heart. Additionally, if she were put on Lysodren, she would have needed blood tests every other week to make sure that it wasn't affecting her kidneys and liver which could have caused Addison's disease.

Kineesa didn't seem too uncomfortable though. Less than 12 hours before she died, she was bouncing against the kitchen door to remind my mom that she needed to be fed first before the "dogs" were taken care of. Whoops, back up... We had decided it would be best for Kineesa to move back home to the farm since I was at class full-time, and my mom would have more time to take care of her. Also, with her declining physical strength, a rambunctious golden retriever wasn't the best thing for her to be around.

Her condition deteriorated gradually for a few years with no other significant health problems. However, around Thanksgiving of last year, she took a pretty sharp turn for the worse. She had become increasingly barrel-chested from her organs fighting with each other, her hair was falling out and her back legs were weakening. What was left of her coat wasn't even black anymore. She was turning reddish-colored and her hair would fall out when you were petting her. We knew it wouldn't be long.

I hate this picture because I hate what the disease did to her. She was as vain as any dog could be, and I could tell she wasn't happy with what was happening to her. This was taken on my birthday (11/19) when I went to see her:

Kineesa11-19-05.jpg

My mom called me last night to tell me she didn't think Kineesa would make it through the night. She had started breathing heavily and was coughing up blood. I drove the 50 miles to my mom's house, hoping to get there in time to say good bye. She looked up at me one last time to let me know that she knew I was there. I apologized for making her wait, and told her it was okay for her to let go. She let out her last breath five minutes after I got there.
 
Winnie (Kineesa's mom) died unexpectedly following a seizure a few years ago. The necropsy revealed that she had pancreatic cancer and something caused her blood-glucose level to fluctuate wildly, thus causing the seizure. The vets said that she didn't die from the cancer, but they were never able to determine exactly what caused the fluctuation that resulted in the seizure. We had her cremated and are going to do the same for Kineesa. Unfortunately, the vet's office would have to keep her in the freezer until next Wednesday for the service. I'm not okay with that--I've already made her wait long enough. So tomorrow I'll be driving her up to the cremation place myself. They said it only takes about 45 minutes and that I'll be able bring her home right away. Then her ashes will be able to sit next to her mom's on the mantle, and hopefully my dad will allow her to sit next to him on the couch in heaven.

Maybe it seems screwed-up that I'm posting all of this, and I imagine it would to anyone who has never lost a dog. I guess it's just how I deal with it.
 
It aint screwed up at all, Paul.

Talking, writing, rejoicing, reminiscing, getting drunk and laughing/crying about the days, people and beloved pets gone by..... it is how we cope, how we heal, how we keep their memory alive.
 
I'm sorry for your loss, Paul. Kineesa was a very special dog and I know how sad it is when we lose them. I don't think it's screwed up that you posted this. I am glad you did, and glad you shared some of Kinnesa with us.
 
Thanks guys. I decided to name this gecko after her. It's a female co-dom snow that arrived on the same day that Kineesa left. I think it's kind of ironic that they both started black and white, but yellow with age.

Is "yellow" the only color that's both an adjective and a verb? Huh... Anyway, here's the picture:

MackCoDomFemale.jpg


(ps - Thanks Kelli ;) )
 
Paul, I am sorry for your loss. It is wonderful that she had your family to love and care for her. Thank you for sharing her with us.
It was a beautiful dedication to a beloved family member.
 
Paul, thanks for sharing. Kineesa was lucky to have such a loving and caring family. Although I'm sure that she would remind you that you were the lucky one to have her company.
 
Paul, I am so truly sorry for your loss.

And there is absolutely nothing messed up with you writing all of that, it helped us all to know Kineesa a bit, and to understand just how special she was, as well as what a great loss her passing is. And she will be there waiting for you someday on the bridge.

http://www.indigo.org/rainbowbridge_ver2.html
 
Paul, my heart pours out to you for the loss of your beloved companion. I think it is fitting that you put this tribute to Kineesa here to share with your fellow animal lovers and friends. Our pets are integral members of our families, and they truly enrich our lives.

Please accept my heartfelt sympathy and support.
 
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Kineesa

Paul,

Kineesa was a beautiful girl. I'm so glad that you showed not only the pictures of her, but told her story as well...which will help educate others about Kineesa's disease.

Our deepest sympathies...
 
Paul,
She was the cutest puppy!!! And she was lucky to have you as her family. I'm sorry for your loss.
 
Paul,
I am so sorry for your loss. I know I was in tears reading your tribute, what a beautiful love you had for this girl.
Denise
 
Thanks everyone. It was actually a really nice day outside here. It even warmed up to a balmy 38* and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. Actually felt like Spring. Anyway, the people at the crematorium were really nice. I had expected to go sit in a room somewhere and wait until it was all over, but they actually let people stay right there for the whole thing. It was nice being able to pet her one last time, but watching them put her in the oven was a little rough. It was just her body though, a body that wasn't good enough for her anyway.

I knew that losing a dog was going to be really hard, but I had no idea it would be this hard on me. I didn't even cry at my dad's funeral. Anyway, I got back to my mom's to put her ashes next to Winnie's on the mantle, and when I walked in mom's bird said, "Kineesa go out?" I just told him yeah, she went out. Then he said, "I'm sorry. It's okay, I'll be quiet." He's known all of those phrases for quite a while, but it always shocks me when he manages to use them appropriately. He actually was quiet enough for me to take a nap before coming home. Normally if I fall asleep there, the little bastard is screaming "Bad kitty! Get off the table." or something like that.
 
I found a few more pictures today. Sorry they're not the greatest. They're scans of 3x5's taken with an old 35 and a disposable.

This is Kineesa when she was about 4 months old. It's kind of hard to see through the kennel, but she apparently "grew into" her ears at some point.

kineesakennel.jpg


And this is the only picture we have of Kineesa and Cooper together. I don't know when it was taken, but my mom's best friend Lorraine gave it to her today.

KineesaCooper.jpg

Lorraine has two dachsunds of her own and keeps threatening to steal Cooper. It wouldn't be too hard, he'd happily go home with a complete stranger as long as they pet him.
 
Paul, sorry for your loss but thanks for sharing. Its always touching to see the love that people have for their animals. I too never cried for my dad during his year long fight with cancer or after his death but when one of my cats died suddenly a few months ago it tore me up inside. Our pets make all the difference in the world in our lives. You did great by Kineesa and she loved you for it.

Jamie
 
I offer my condolences. It's obvious Kineesa had a good life. Your post had me crying because I understand how important it was for you to be there when she died. My dog Ruby died while I was studying overseas two years ago. I found out about it through the phone. She was my first dog. I remember doing so many things with her when I was growing up, entering her in dog contests at school, letting her make new dog friends, taking her on family trips, showing her pictures to everyone I knew. She lived to the age of 13 and died peacefully in her sleep. It was probably the best way for her to go, but more than anything, I wish I got to say goodbye.
 
Paul,
As horrible as this sounds, I didn't cry at my dads funeral either. I cried the morning he died, and plenty while he was sick, but not at the funeral.
On the other hand, I inheireted a cat when my brother died 19 years ago, he was a year old when he came to live with me (and I am not really a cat person), when I lost him 2 years ago, I was an absolute, on my knees mess.
Peoples sometimes under-rate the impact these animals we are owned by have on our life, and some animals really aren't pets, they are family members.
I'm glad you're doing OK.
 
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