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Me or the snakes

catawhat

catawhat

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Well, my 8 month relationship just bit the dust. Not like I didn't know it was coming, but dang it hurts.
Ex says it is stupid of me to have dreams about breeding, that my hobby is a waste of money. No matter how I tried (hmmm maybe I shouldn't have tried) I could never get him to see my point. I never asked him to be a part b/c I knew how he felt about snakes, but why does he have to try and distroy my dreams, make me feel like I am wasting my life. I have a job, I never asked him to pay for a thing, I tried to keep my enthusiasm to a lower key (and we all know how hard that can be!). Tonight was it, I will not choose to give up my dream, I will not give up the animals that bring me so much happiness for anyone. I will not be one of the people who give up what I love to make someone else happy- I think this was just a symptom of larger issues. No one who says they love another person would treat another this way, be demeaning and ask that they give up something they hold dear. Guess what, he goes, the animals stay!
 
You'll be better off. It's hard to find someone who's passionate about the same things. With reptiles there are reptile people and non-reptile people. Seems to me that most non-reptile people just don’t understand reptile people. :shrug01:
 
Sounds like you made the right decision, if he had truly loved you he would have wanted you to be happy. He would have supported you.
 
No one who says they love another person would treat another this way, be demeaning and ask that they give up something they hold dear.
Click to expand...

You said it all right there, girl. If a person cannot accept you for who you are, then they will never be happy until they change you, and you will never be happy trying to be a person that you are not.

I know it hurts now, but you AND your critters will be better off in the long run. :thumbsup:
 
catawhat said:
No one who says they love another person would treat another this way, be demeaning and ask that they give up something they hold dear.
Click to expand...

Well said.

Even so, I know it hurts to break up, for whatever reason. (((Ingrid))) I'm sorry you have to go through the pain.
 
Cat_72 said:
You said it all right there, girl. If a person cannot accept you for who you are, then they will never be happy until they change you, and you will never be happy trying to be a person that you are not.

I know it hurts now, but you AND your critters will be better off in the long run. :thumbsup:
Click to expand...


:iagree: :thumbsup:
 
Ingrid I am sorry that you had to go through that but I congratulate you on making the right decision. I was in the same situation several years ago when my then boyfriend told me to chose him or my dog(my dog did not like him). I told him that there was no choice, the dog stays. I couldn't believe that he was shocked. He left and I still have my boy Tal. He's 16 and still going strong. In time I met the man I'm with now and have a beautiful daughter as well. You will meet the person for you and he will love, respect and honor what you choose to do with your life.
 
I guess I will be the voice of some dissent. I don't know your situation but what I do know is that there are things in life worth giving up for someone you love. If my wife truly wanted me to give up my boa's and her rationale was legit, then it would take me only a few days to get rid of them.

You have to decide what is more important to you. That's the bottom line. Before I got married I was planning on going into law enforcement with the eventual goal of being on our local SWAT. My wife told me that she would not marry me if I was knocking doors down for a living. I thought it through and even though my heart, even to this day, wants to be the guy on the front line, I don't doubt that I made the right decision. It was worth giving up and her reasoning was legit.

You just have to weigh the options and decide what you love more. I would give up the world to have a wife who loves me the way my wife does. I am a very fortunate man but it still came down to making a choice. I made the right one. I only hope you did too.

Griz
 
Griz, while I understand your point and think it CAN be valid, in this case it isn't so. This is not the only issue he has and while I don't expect him to love my snakes, to be demeaning/verbally abusive is not something I can tolerate. As I said before, the snakes are just a symptom of larger issues and there were several. There were somethings he did that I tried my hardest to help him overcome but he can't or wont and there are things I will not have my daughter subjected to. I love him with all my heart, but I am sure you know that love cannot always conquer all. Not to mention the jealousy issues. He is a good man, but without trust how can you have a relationship. I am not the same person as his ex and no matter how hard I tried, he thinks I will do the same as she did. Aww heck, I really dont want to go into all this- just leave it as love is not always enough.
I lived with my ex husband for years who had the same issue, so I didn't have snakes and kept other animals to a minimum. I always wanted to do rescue and I couldn't before. It is a part of my personality and if that means I loose out on the relationship then so be it. I will not change myself for someone else.
 
I think you made the wise choice and your animals will continue to love you unconditionally!! Good luck and BE HAPPY!! :D
 
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