NO its not to bury my past if that was the case i would of just stayed away from this site and ignored David,either way people are not gonna like me and refuse to talk to me and consider me bottom of the barrel around here,you want a explination Jay il give you the truth,yes i did make it up and im am very sorry for calling you a lier!i made it up because i just wanted to feel more than i really am,compared to everyone els on here,i used my dreams as a imagination,i always had the problem with low self esteem still do but working on it,yea it was a wild story and i buried myself in it with make believe stuff,i was looking for attention in all the wrong ways,and i go to counseling for it today twice a week,you are 100% correct Jay i did lie and im am truly sorry for liying on your name,you are a honest person i wasn't ,it was a point in my life i was going through some ruff times and mentaly i broke down,i even got arressted for wearing a halloween costume of a police officer and it was dismissed all charges because no criminal intent was found nor motives,i simply was having a melt down and wanted to feel important as a person,im not gonna get into my whole child hood and depth of things but all i can do today with you and everyone els is tell the truth when confronted from now on,because i ow it to everyone here and im sure not a single person is gonna talk to me other than laugh and put me down and thats ok,but what was going on in my head i am being treated for it,sometimes in life we reach a breaking point and last year was the very first time me and my wife bought a home with some land and we have horses,i got overwhelmed with issues and didnt know how to handle things or approach them and the more things happened and the more they became more of a challage for me because i didnt know what to do i was loosing self esteem with in myself even when my wife was telling me otherwise about myself,i didnt listen all i could hear was "IM FAILING""WHAT DO I DO?"is any of this a icscuse for my actions NO bit its the truth and getting the hep i need for my self esteem is what i do today and i have a better grasp on things at home,i ended up disabled this year in January and now live off S.S.D. at 42 years old do you think for one bit im proud of it?NO IM NOT but iv gotten ill and suffered bad motorcycle accident in 2008 and not wearing a helmet made it even worse,surgery after surgery left me with things building around my home to do and not wanting to ask for help from family and friend's because of my pride everything built up and just got worse,going into details just makes me look like an dummy and im feeling embarresed about it already my spelling is off,but noone is gonna relate to mebut telling the truth Jay is what im doing ok,im sorry if you dont believe me but i cant tell it any clearer than the truth,i was wrong and AGAIN i am truly sorry for calling you a lier,i came back to make amends not make things worse for myself,im not even asking for forgiveness from anyone,i felt it right in my heart to come clean and iv been talking to Dave past month and half about things and said i would take care of everything ,you asked me for a explination Jay you got it,i love my reptiles they are a escape for me and most of my time is spent with them if not with my wife or horses or on line learning or at my church,i dont work anymore just stay home and its not a good feeling to feel useless,if i could go back to work i would but i cant you dont know half the medical problems i have and have gotten worse the past year im not gonna go into them,but dealing self esteem is very hard for some one who was depended on for many years and then got injured and felt not needed anymore,i had my moment in life Jay and that was it,im here to say im sorry to you ok forgive or not or say what you will,u asked me for a explination all i could say is the truth and what i was going thru,had i approached it another way and maybe asked some one here for help maybe i would of got it maybe i wouldnt but i was to embarressed to ask,or explain to people,i hope i answered your question Jay and see me in a new light.i have no negative motives by coming on here telling the truth and broadcasting my break downs to everyone in the world on this site!what would i possiable have to gain by looking like a insane nutty mental retard who had a moment in life that got the best of me and i lost control of it because i wasnt strong enofe to deal with it,how do you think i feel right now telling everyone this,how do you think i feel now?im even more embarresed however its spelt yea i have a spelling problem im sorry i dont spell as good as everyone els on here but it doesnt make me stupid and i hope and pray to god i dont get attacked on here for telling the truth because i felt it was owed to the community even though im small potatoes and dont count for anything i insulted people,human beings for no reason and i just wanted to say sorry ok i hope your happy and anything els you want to know just ask Jay,im going to the White plains show April 17th over in Weschester county if you make talk to me if you want,i go to Hamburg alot also down in PA i was their last on Feb 26th and had alot of fun,anyways i hope i answered your question....Nikko