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General BS forum I guess anything is fair game in here. Just watch the subject matter doesn't get carried away too much. |
08-10-2006, 04:26 AM
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#1
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How Old Is Too Old.........
Here is a topic that recently came up and I am wondering what the generals are for this.
What should be considered too old to have children?
What if one would-be parent never had any kids?
What if one would-be parent had major heart issues?
There is a four year difference between the would-be parents.
At what age would you say he is too old?
At what age would you say she is too old?
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08-10-2006, 07:12 PM
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#2
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too old
When I married I was 19 my husband was 36. We had one child at that time.
by the time our last child was born I was 25 and he was 41. We then adopted our youngest son 4 years ago. I am 42 and hubby is 59, we are much better parents now than we were then. We are much much more patient.
All told we have 5 children, 23-Daughter(she is expecting)
20-Daughter (married & 2 children (expecting one more))
19-Son In the Army (no children)
17-Daughter (no children)
4-Son (no children)
I feel if you have the love to give then there are always children that need that love. No matter the age.
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08-10-2006, 10:42 PM
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#3
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That is really such an individual decision.
I've seen 17 year old kids have an unexpected pregnancy and end up being wonderful parents.
I've seen 30-something professionals have children that they really wanted, but have become so selfish that they end up not being very good parents.
I have a relative who adopted his last child at 47, and is probably one of the best parents I know.
You mention a heart condition. Is that a consideration due to the stress of pregnancy, or a consideration that they may not be around long enough to raise a child? If it's the former, then I would suggest finding a really good Dr. to lay out the risks, and take it from there. Surrogacy and adoption can always be considered. If it's the latter....well, pffffffffft.....any parent can die on any day....there are no guarantees, and the fear of dying prematurely shouldn't be given much consideration.
When Steve and I met, I already had 3 children, all teenagers, and wasn't able to have more. He'd never been married and had not had children. There's a significant age difference between us. It was absolutely a major point of discussion prior to our marriage. He decided that he didn't need to have a child of his own, and if the parenting urge hit him hard later on, we'd look at adoption. As it's turned out (so far), helping to raise 3 teenagers gave him quite a good look at child rearing LOL and he lost any urge to have more. However, now that we're grandparents and very close to all the grandchildren, he's getting to experience a lot of the joys of young kids: teaching them to camp, and handle snakes, and shoot a bow, etc. etc. He feels like he's got the best of both worlds....no real responsibility, but lots of opportunity to influence their lives, and of course he's their hero.
I think everyone should follow their heart. It usually leads in the right direction.
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09-03-2006, 05:54 PM
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#4
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What should be considered too old to have children? Any woman past menopause, any man that cant get it up(just kidding).
What if one would-be parent never had any kids? You have to be a newbie sooner or later
What if one would-be parent had major heart issues? If you think you are going to die in the next 18yrs I would reconsider, its awful hard on the kid to have a parent die.
There is a four year difference between the would-be parents.4 years is nothing, my parents are 10yrs apart
At what age would you say he is too old? Seriously consider how long you will most likely live, and think about the child first...If he's sixty and in poor health then reconsider, if he's sixty and going strong and has had a physical and deemed healthy go for it.
At what age would you say she is too old? If she is past menopause she cant have any anyhoo..Personally I know several over 40 women that have had kids..
Seriously, do you really need kids to be happy? According to the news the other day kids dont make you happy..But Ive had 4 and some days Im loving it and others it sucks...
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