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Wanting to get into Balls, but wife will not allow.

C

clintdowns

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Hello, My name is Clint Downs. I live in Iowa Park, TX. I am in the Airforce here in Wichita Falls and I am an instructor here. I have had a couple different types of reptiles. I have had bearded dragons and leopard geckos. I did not get into them as much as I would have liked. There was just really nothing that reached out and grabbed me. I liked them very well but not as much as I loved my Red Tail Boa. I had one of these about 6 years ago before I met my wife. I recieved it from a pet store in Boise Idaho. I had it for about 3 weeks and then he passed. I came home from work one day and he was dead. Not really sure why other than some other reptile people said that it could have been sick, or had mites from the pet store. I was doing everything I was suppose to. I really enjoyed having the snake and handling him. About 9 months ago I had to take my wife to the OKC airport, while waiting for her I stopped in and visited with New Shed Serpents. I will say that he was about the nicest person I have ever met with the Ball pythons. I fell in love with these snakes. He took me into the snake area and showed me everything that he had. He answered every question that I had and just made me feel at home. So I guess the real question here is, How do I make my wife understand that ball pythons will not hurt her. She is terrified of snakes for some reasona nd litterally told me that if I got a snake and moved it into the house then she would move out. I really do not think that it has to be to that extreme. Can anyone out there help me out. I have been looking at Ball Morphs and snakes for over a year now and would love to get into them. I have also spoke with Bill at Regal Evolutions and he is one hell of a nice guy as well. It seems to me everyone that I have spoken to in the Ball industry just wants to teach people and help them out all they can. I love that. But I could never get into this if my wife will not allow a snake in the house. COULD ANYONE HELP ME OUT WITH THIS ISSUE, MAYBE SOME OTHER PEOPLE HAVE BEEN DOWN THIS ROAD BEFORE.

Thanks So much

Clint Downs
 
First, thank you for your service! Secondly, have you tried taking her to a reptile show or store and let her get used to them...she may even see one she thinks is pretty! I have also seen success with guys who also investigated and demonstrated the safety and difficulty for escape in various enclosures.
 
Hello Clint. Let me just say first, thank you for your service. Anyways back to your question. When I first got with my fiance, she hated snakes. She thought they were slimy, evil creatures and she wanted nothing to do with them. Well after about 6 months of me constantly saying I want a carpet python over and over again and educating her about snakes, I got my carpet python. When I first got him, he was super aggressive and it didn't help her with her fear of snakes but slowly she started coming around to him. Well I traded him about a month ago for a pair of spotted pythons and now she handles the spotted pythons all the time and she wants leopard geckos and more snakes. I think when it comes to getting people to accept snakes and learning how to like them, it is all about education. If you educate people in something that they fear and show them that their is nothing to fear, it helps them over come their fear.

Just try to show her that snakes aren't evil or whatever she may think about them. Start her off with a species that isn't really aggressive such as a ball python. They are usually docile snakes but like any snake, they can bite and there are some aggressive individuals out there. I have always said that snakes are like people, sometimes they have bad days and sometimes they have good days. I myself am not a ball python person, so I don't know anything about the different morphs but there is a ton of people on here that I am sure will help you with your questions. I hope this helps you. Just remember that education is the key.
 
Thanks you two. I mentioned to her last night that they are having a reptile show in OKC on the 25 and 26. First thing out of her mouth was I don't wanna go up there and walk around see all those nasty things. I told her that they were not nasty and there is absolutely nothing to be afraid of. I think I have me a tough on my hands when it comes to showing her that snakes are not out to get you.
 
Well Clint,
Sounds like you have yourself a feisty WC 0.1.0 there! Gentle persistence is key. Maybe starting with something even smaller than a ball python would help? A small gentle species she can watch and learn from...
 
hisshers said:
Well Clint,
Sounds like you have yourself a feisty WC 0.1.0 there! Gentle persistence is key. Maybe starting with something even smaller than a ball python would help? A small gentle species she can watch and learn from...
Click to expand...

Ok, do you have any pointers for that???
 
Does anything else interest you? Rubber boas? Smaller rosy boas? Black Milk Snakes get longer but are beautiful and gentle and she could watch them change from a banded colorful snake to pure black beauties!
 
Focal X said:
Divorce!!!
Just kidding, sort of.
Click to expand...

You can't expect someone to be "cool" with something like this after the fact, necessarily... I mean, if he'd had a room full of snakes when they first met, fine, she's got no excuses, but in a situation where a partner in a solidified relationship TAKES UP an interest in snakes/creepies... well, the burden is on the one taking up the interest. They don't get to be offended when the other partner isn't automatically cool with it.

I started with 2 tiny baby Scolopendra heros from a reptile show when I first got interested in keeping invertebrates again... those died quickly since I was a noob, and my wife felt bad for me se I got a few more... those lived, and once she saw the elaborate locking enclosures I made for them, realize the chance of escape was zero, and realized that I was genuinely interested, she said "get what you like, but the first escape they all get sold". I agreed, and I haven't had an escape these 8 years. The snakes she actually kind of likes, but I keep all my critters in a separate room downstairs so it's not like she has to see them if she doesn't want to.

Be patient... I think going to a reptile show is a great idea. Maybe even a pet store. Ask her why she hates them so much, maybe there was a traumatic childhood event?
 
Seriously, the relationship comes first, but a no pressure approach like a reptile show, or perhaps a new gold ring in a snake shape, are all ideas that might help.
 
clintdowns said:
...and litterally told me that if I got a snake and moved it into the house then she would move out.
Click to expand...


I think I missed the downside. This sounds like a win-win situation. :thumbsup:

To be serious for a moment, marriage is all about compromise. I'm sure there are things you do for her that you're not that thrilled with. Talk it through.

I would start with a small corn snake that you got for free from someone that couldn't keep it anymore and that was going to be put to sleep so you rescued it. :rolleyes:

BTW, how thrilled is she going to be when you finally convince her to let you have the snake and she finds a bag full of rats in her freezer. :eek:
 
Good ideas have been posted here! I would start off showing her photos of some really beauitful specimens (not just ball pythons either, show her some of the variety, like brazilian rainbow boas, san francisco garter snakes, maybe a pretty blue green tree python). Photos may be easier for her to accept at first than seeing them in person at a reptile show. I've met some people with really bad fears and just knowing it's live and so close can really freak them out so pictures are a harmless way to start. Even artistic shots like close up of scales are a good way to start. I did this with one of the ladies here at work and now she'll come look at them in person because 'they are pretty, like jewels'. She even touched one for the first time, it took a while to get to that point. Some people never get over the fear but if she likes the lizards it's a good stepping stone to move to snakes. Snakes are similar to lizards just without the legs (well you can say that anyways.. haha.. it might help).

good luck!
 
I was scared crapless at the thought of getting a snake. I went on the "bad" I had heard and wasnt up for it, but being that i love my boyfriend i let him get his BP and said whatever.. when we drove to MD to pick it up (from Rich Baker - Chesapeake Bay Ball Pythons - HE IS WONDERFUL) and was around them i was still freaked out... when we got home i sucked it up and held him.. we ended up naming him Striker.. ahahaha... but after about a month i was like "f it... i want another" so we got our bumble bee from colin weaver (east coast reptile breeders) and now almost a year later we have more than a handful and i handle every single one of them. Ask her to compromise and give you the benefit of the doubt... now i go into the pet stores (even though i wouldnt buy one from one around here) and i look at them every time.. sometimes i go just to see them... I have found that I love our bumblebees (we got another from Matt Shifflett - American Made Exotics) and they are my favorite. They are the sweetest... I have even gotten my mom and best friend to hold our bee female... and my mom was intrigued... scared like i was but now she is fascinated.. tell her if you get a BP she can get an animal of her choice ;)

good luck!
 
I actually talked with my wife about this and she said going to the reptile shows helped her. She said seeing all those people and all those kids being interested meant there must be something she wasn't seeing!
She was also impressed with the professionalism there...made it seem more legit than some carney hawking snakes at the local fair!
 
I would like to start off by telling everyone thanks for all the info. I believe there is a show in OKC in the next couple of weeks. I am trying to get her to go up there to it with me. I also found a guy here on base where I work at that has a small collection of 8 or so. I am going to try and get her to go over to his house with me and see his. I am going to start off by taking my 4 year old daughter over there that way she will like them then she can come home and talk about them. "GOOD IDEA HUH". I will be sure and keep everyone updated of where I am going with all this.
 
If she doesn't get used to it THROW HER OUT... or just put her in a box and sleep with the snake. But in all seriousness, the only advice I can offer that I don't think has been said is "Do not pressure her into them!"
 
Start off small like a baby corn then move up worked for me now I have 4 adult corns 2 bearded dragons 5 leopard geckos and 4 diamond back terrapins and 2 ball pythons ;)
 
A lot of women respond positively to hognoses, because they're tiny and have a cute upturned nose and they play dead. :D I personally fell in love with my corns, but I liked snakes before that.

I agree, though, that a reptile show may help. Show her that there are so many colors and different kinds of critters. Many vendors will allow their animals to be held, so when the time comes that she's curious, she can hold one--or, you could hold one (ball pythons being generally calm and inclined to ball up instead of getting in that strike position may help) and prompt her to feel its sides, just to show her how they feel. A lot of people just need to get over the idea that they're slimy. :p
 
It's great you want to help, but this thread is 2 years old so I imagine he worked it out.
 
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