Ms. Craig are going to read what I write and take it the wrong way. Please. Take it for the factual meaning it is. I am saying this to save a friend ship and make your problem go away. Some times you have to suck it up and take one for the team.
You understand where you screwed up right? Conflict resolution never begins with one person telling the other person to calm down. In fact, 90% of time, it makes mediation impossible with out a 3rd party. By telling her to calm down and explain herself, you just tossed her under what she thought was a bus. She concluded that anything she says or does is 100% invalid in your eyes. That is what SHE thinks.
This is why she can not explain to you what happen. You already concluded, in her eyes, that she does not have a point with you.
So there is two ways forward.
A.) You admit to her that you completely screwed the pooch on this one. You over reacted, you became irrational, and because of other stuff in your life, you placed her in a bad spot. Say you are sorry. THEN ask her for help. ASK her how you can fix this problem. Ask HER to help you. If she is in a rational state of mind and if you, in her mind, have not completely tossed her under the bus this might work.
B.) You need to get another personal to tell both of you that you acted like juveniles high schoolers. You need that person to tell both of you that friendship is not measured in moments of panic, but in the wiliness to seek comfort in each other after panic has resided. Whom ever you decide to get to do that, they need to be respected by both sides and willing to help.
I don't care about the he said she said. The cursing, backstabbing, and threats. I just want you two to start talking TO each other and not AT each other.
Even if you, Ms. Craig, feel that you did not do nothing wrong, the only way to move forward from this point with out resorting to name calling and hate, is to admit you screwed up.
If you don't want a friend at this point or want the mind numbing drama that will follow. Ship her the snakes, keep the snakes, or sell the snakes. It does not really matter, it will all led to bad blood.