Info Need some advice on a situation involving Alea Rodriguez.

[meowmeowkazoo]

As others have said, they are not your animals. It's not your responsibility to wait until she is ready to take her own animals back. Get some advice on shipping during the winter. I know there are some people out there who are really good at it. Or wait until spring. Either way, ship the animals back as soon as humanly possible, regardless of whether or not she has cages for them.

Don't drag this out by continuing to argue with her when she's not going to listen. Tell her you will ship back her animals as soon as possible, and then stop talking to her.

And don't think about keeping them regardless of what she says. If and when she changes her mind, you'll be back in this same situation.

 

[missred]

I did not see your post while I was posting.
I suggest you and Elexis decide what to do about the snakes, they are live critters and this drama should not affect their care.

I agree and If it wasn't 25 degrees where I live they would be in their way to my house..... or not because she's saying she won't send them to me.....

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[ElexisC]

You can "live" with sending them to their rightful owner whom takes better care of them than anything else? The owner who sent u otherwise healthy snakes considering the abuse they were put through by the previous person I had them with that was suppose to be my roommate? Wow ok..... I did what I could for them in my screwed up situation and you want to judge? You are a petty child really you are.... if this Boi thread doesn't ruin me then you will have ruined yourself by looking like a petty child......



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Assuming that meant "cant" no, not while you don't have caging for them, and it's far too cold to ship. Obviously you want to run on nothing but emotion and not read what I actually said like when you took your marriage problems out on me and caused all of this and threatened me.

 

[missred]

As others have said, they are not your animals. It's not your responsibility to wait until she is ready to take her own animals back. Get some advice on shipping during the winter. I know there are some people out there who are really good at it. Or wait until spring. Either way, ship the animals back as soon as humanly possible, regardless of whether or not she has cages for them.

Don't drag this out by continuing to argue with her when she's not going to listen. Tell her you will ship back her animals as soon as possible, and then stop talking to her.

And don't think about keeping them regardless of what she says. If and when she changes her mind, you'll be back in this same situation.

That's what I was wanting to do was wait till spring but instead of talking and keeping this between us she decided to threaten me.

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[missred]

Assuming that meant "cant" no, not while you don't have caging for them, and it's far too cold to ship. Obviously you want to run on nothing but emotion and not read what I actually said like when you took your marriage problems out on me and caused all of this and threatened me.

Yet your the one forcing me to give you money or I'll never see them again yea that's real caring for the animals.... congratulations your slowly ruining your self....

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[ElexisC]

I agree and If it wasn't 25 degrees where I live they would be in their way to my house..... or not because she's saying she won't send them to me.....

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Please quote where I said i won't send them period? I said I won't ship while it's too cold and while you have no caging, I also said you will pay for their care before you get them back, then you basically said to keep them.

 

[ElexisC]

Who threatened who?

 

[missred]

wow !!! total basket case..

if i were you, make sure you have the message that mentiones anything about that 7th snake she told you to keep.
then, make sure you keep a solid reccord of the feeders and expenses for taking care of the snakes starting the momment you told her it wasn't free anymore, in fact keep it on this post as a regular update, she sure can see it here..

from there !!! best of luck dealing with her... maybe she will relax and come to her senses..

I don't care about the one I GAVE HER because I couldn't PAY HER

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[missred]

If you do not want to ship because of the weather, and I understand that, at least take the high road and do not charge her for what you said you were going to do for free.
Avoid the drama, don't embrace it.
It may be that she will come to her senses and apologize for her meltdown, but that will never happen if you escalate the situation. Just avoid her until she talks to you in a civil manner. Don't go after her to talk, she does not appear to be ready for that, and it will only escalate the situation to force communication if she is not ready.
If it doesn't calm down for the two of you, just ship the 6 back when weather permits.

I tried talking to her this morning and was bombarded with a novel. She blew this out of proportion not me..... I left it alone a few days for myself to cool off and then this.....

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[missred]

Who threatened who?

View attachment 753550

Hey and here you are trying to STEAL THEM from me!!! YOU ARE RUINING YOUR OWN LIFE NEEDS NO HELP FROM ME!!!

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[ElexisC]

Yet your the one forcing me to give you money or I'll never see them again yea that's real caring for the animals.... congratulations your slowly ruining your self....

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If you wouldn't have threatened me, and treated me the way you did in messages it would have stayed between us. This is of your doing. You threatened me so I put it out there that I'm not trying to keep them even though there's several people offering to buy but I won't sell.

I posted the messages because you threatened me, so everyone could see that I wasn't keeping them, that if you said I was it would be a lie.

Now yes I want paid for my time, care, and feeders from here on out since I'm such a horrible friend and not a friend to you anymore all because you needed someone to take your problems out on.

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[CwnAnnwn]

I don't care about the one I GAVE HER because I couldn't PAY HER

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Can I help you? I would really like to help you. I know you are upset. I would be too. But this BOI does not have to ruin anyone. Could you please state what happen? We all want to know how this got soo far out of hand.

No one is judging you. We are only here to help you.

 

[Lucille]

Maela, I suggest you get your critters back and don't let others take care of them for you. It is OK for a short while, but this appears to have been going on for a while.
I hope you get settled in and enjoy them and care for them as soon as practical, and I also suggest, just to make your life easier, that when you are upset, don't post until the next day.

http://www.faunaclassifieds.com/forums/showthread.php?p=1812117#post1812117

 

[ElexisC]

Ms. Craig are going to read what I write and take it the wrong way. Please. Take it for the factual meaning it is. I am saying this to save a friend ship and make your problem go away. Some times you have to suck it up and take one for the team.

You understand where you screwed up right? Conflict resolution never begins with one person telling the other person to calm down. In fact, 90% of time, it makes mediation impossible with out a 3rd party. By telling her to calm down and explain herself, you just tossed her under what she thought was a bus. She concluded that anything she says or does is 100% invalid in your eyes. That is what SHE thinks.

This is why she can not explain to you what happen. You already concluded, in her eyes, that she does not have a point with you.

So there is two ways forward.

A.) You admit to her that you completely screwed the pooch on this one. You over reacted, you became irrational, and because of other stuff in your life, you placed her in a bad spot. Say you are sorry. THEN ask her for help. ASK her how you can fix this problem. Ask HER to help you. If she is in a rational state of mind and if you, in her mind, have not completely tossed her under the bus this might work.

B.) You need to get another personal to tell both of you that you acted like juveniles high schoolers. You need that person to tell both of you that friendship is not measured in moments of panic, but in the wiliness to seek comfort in each other after panic has resided. Whom ever you decide to get to do that, they need to be respected by both sides and willing to help.

I don't care about the he said she said. The cursing, backstabbing, and threats. I just want you two to start talking TO each other and not AT each other.

Even if you, Ms. Craig, feel that you did not do nothing wrong, the only way to move forward from this point with out resorting to name calling and hate, is to admit you screwed up.

If you don't want a friend at this point or want the mind numbing drama that will follow. Ship her the snakes, keep the snakes, or sell the snakes. It does not really matter, it will all led to bad blood.

Please tell me where I screwed up? With her trash talking me, threatening me, etc how did I screw up? By trying to figure out what happened to cause her so much anger and that angered her more? No she screwed this up.

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[missred]

Maela, I suggest you get your critters back and don't let others take care of them for you. It is OK for a short while, but this appears to have been going on for a while.
I hope you get settled in and enjoy them and care for them as soon as practical, and I also suggest, just to make your life easier, that when you are upset, don't post until the next day.

http://www.faunaclassifieds.com/forums/showthread.php?p=1812117#post1812117

As I stated we discussed it before hand she said as long as I needed and I let her know daily what was going on..... I have half the caging for them already but haven't had the money yet to buy more for the bigger ones I thought I was doing the right thing leaving them in her care since we were both ok with it!!! She even attempted to use my male boa for breeding!!! I was OK with that but now she's pulling this.... if i could get them shipped to me I would but I can't and I've had someone working on it for 4 days to hold them for me till it warms up and I pay them to care for them.

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[CwnAnnwn]

If you wouldn't have threatened me, and treated me the way you did in messages it would have stayed between us. This is of your doing. You threatened me so I put it out there that I'm not trying to keep them even though there's several people offering to buy but I won't sell.

I posted the messages because you threatened me, so everyone could see that I wasn't keeping them, that if you said I was it would be a lie.

Now yes I want paid for my time, care, and feeders from here on out since I'm such a horrible friend and not a friend to you anymore all because you needed someone to take your problems out on.

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Is that really how you want to be depicted in this thread? Really?

You said you would help her. Because she is not a good person in your eyes, does not mean you can be a bad person back.

You agreed to keep her snakes. A good person would simply ask when she can receive them back and what is safe for the snakes. A good person would keep their word regardless of what happens. At this point, you appear to want more drama and don't want to reduce conflict.

You don't have to be a bad person here, stop acting like one.

 

[ElexisC]

You are so childish omg!!!! FOR EVERYONE'S INFO MY SNAKES ARE AT HER HOUSE BECAUSE I HAD NO OPTION BUT TO SELL THEM AND SEND THEM TO HER... CLEARLY I SHOULD HAVE SOLD THEM. THEY ARE STILL THERE BECAUSE MY LIVING SITUATION IS NOT GOOD OUR HOUSE IT UP FOR SALE AND MY HUSBAND WORKS IN ANOTHER STATE!!! Elexis OFFERED to care for them knowing I had hardly any money any snakes that's been aquired since has been rescues, or gifts from someone else not bought with my own money. When I had to send all my reptiles to her all my caging was stolen 1000$ worth. Not to mention she got a free hypo red tail for doing it for me despite me not having a single bit of money to help her!!!! When I did have money I asked if they needed anything she wouldn't even tell me!!!! I ordered stuff for them on 2 different occasions because she told me they needed something!!! If I could provide it I did and now she's doing this because I told her to go screw herself after choosing a group over friend ship..... oh hey wanna hear something funny the huge boa she has that she is breeding that she doesn't know it's genetics came to her with mites..... I helped her by buying her a bottle of reptile relief because she didn't have any money to get anything... yet I'm the bad person...... YOU OFFERED TO DO THIS FOR ME AND ARE NOW THROWING A TEMPER TANTRUM SERIOUSLY ELEXIS GROW UP!!! THE ONLY REASON THEY AREN'T ON THEIR WAY TO MY HOUSE RIGHT NOW IS BECAUSE IT'S TO COLD!!!! GET OVER YOURSELF!!!

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I'm the childish one yet you want to tell flat put lies about my breeding? I bought her as a supposed het albino, breeding her to my hypo jungle het albino would prove her genetics. Yes she came with mites but as everyone knows that's a risk when buying from a show.

You call me the childish one yet you're doing nothing but trying to make me look bad?

 

[missred]

I tried talking to you just between us and you started threatening so I blocked your messages.... you have my number not once have you called or texted..... this is my last post on here because this is petty, childish, and could have been resolved had you not decided to threaten me. When you can decide to be an adult feel free to text or call me until then I'll wait till its warm enough and if you feel you need money for all this fine we will discuss it when your not holding my snakes hostage.

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[CwnAnnwn]

Please tell me where I screwed up? With her trash talking me, threatening me, etc how did I screw up? By trying to figure out what happened to cause her so much anger and that angered her more? No she screwed this up.

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I see that we are focused on what she did to you. I will post a link for you. Read the link and come back. I would take Ms. Hollander suggestion. I would recommend both of you walk away from this for at least a week. No contact and no taunting.

http://relationships911.org/imperfect-phrases-1-10/calm-down-why-saying-this-backfires.html

At this point, you don't seem to want to solve the problem, but you want to exploit this into drama.

 

[missred]

I'm the childish one yet you want to tell flat put lies about my breeding? I bought her as a supposed het albino, breeding her to my hypo jungle het albino would prove her genetics. Yes she came with mites but as everyone knows that's a risk when buying from a show.

You call me the childish one yet you're doing nothing but trying to make me look bad?

I'm not trying to do anything.... your making yourself loom bad by staring fauna threads over petty childish things.... your doing it all yourself..... the only thing I want from this is my animals, because our "friendship" isn't worth this drama that you always instill in my life.....

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