Wives and Snakes

Now I know how Jen felt.

The wife just does not understand that you can actually appreciate BP's. After several weeks of fighting (remind me never to buy an unproven import morph again ), it got to the point where to appease her, I had to list almost everything.

How does everyone deal with spouses who don't understand or appreciate the animals you have?

I feel your pain. In my case, it's my husband that is herpaphobic. Heck, I'm the one that has to get rid of spiders in the house, and he freaks every time there is a rogue cricket loose somewhere. Fortunately, he tolerates me working with 5 species of geckos and will even help me vend and trade shows, but it's only because I am disabled and he worries about me vending alone. He has drawn the line when it comes to snakes, though... and I would love to have a GTP or two. Or three.

Wow, I am sooooo sorry to hear that! It really is a shame.

I lucked out. My hubby isn't really into the whole.. 30 something lizards and snakes.. but he said he would pay the bills, and I would care for them.. He has nothing to do with them.

Works for me!

I don't know what I would do if he made me part with them. .. .. Nervous Breakdown????

I saw a card the other day that answered this question for me....

" Why are divorces so expensive?.....because they are worth it!! " LOL


on a more serious note..I am sorry you are dealing with that too. It is not right to put someone you love in a position to give up something that they love. I just don't think it is fair and there should always be some kind of compromise. I wish you luck.

Here's how I deal with it
It is not about changing, IMO, it is about adapting and accepting who the other person is about and respect their likes and dislikes.
I feel that if you meet a person you know then and accept it so don't try to change it once the relationship is cemented. Goes for everything.

There was a compromise of sorts.

I get to keep 3 animals. Any bought since are on the block.

Steve-- It's not only spouses... parents can be like that too; or parent in my case.

I feel for you Steve, I really do. I've never had to deal with that situation and I'll explain why.
I had snakes before I was married, not a whole bunch, but a few. I made one uncompromising condition of the marriage. I explained to her that if she ever came to me and said "it's me or the snakes" that I'd carry her bags to the car.
That may sound extreme, but it's simply something I will not compromise on.
I will keep what I want and do as I will in that area and she has understood from the very beginning that she has no real say in the matter. That's the way I am.
Everything else can be a team effort, and mutual decisions, but when it comes to the snakes, there is no room for discussion of any type.
I've been married going on 16 years now and my opinion hasn't changed. If she insisted I get rid of all the snakes today I'd leave with them.
As was mentioned earlier, to demand that someone you love abandon the one real thing in life that they enjoy isn't a display of that love it's a display of selfishness.

She has never had any participation with the snakes unless I require a hand when sexing an aggressive specimen or something, but she accepts them and understands that she will be living with a good number of snakes for as long as she wishes to live with me.

I'm not offering advice, or telling you to file for divorce over your snakes, this is just how I dealt with the situation before it became a problem.
Never once in 16 years has my wife ever complained about the number of snakes in the house.
She fusses a little when the odd roach is found loose in the house, but that's more feinting irritation than anything.
She initially claimed she would never complain about the snakes, but she would draw the line at venomous. I waited until my son was 9 and no longer a small child before I got my first rattlers. Turned out she didn't mind them after all.

Originally Posted by barbie69

It is not right to put someone you love in a position to give up something that they love. I just don't think it is fair and there should always be some kind of compromise. I wish you luck.

I agree with Ann on this. Asking someone you supposedly love to give up something that they're passionate about is just wrong.

Sorry you're having to deal with this Steve.

Funny how although the thread is titled wifes and snakes, there seem to be more women that have spousal problems.

My wife doesn't really care for the animals, but understands that she really has no say in the matter. As long as I stay responsible and make sure that the necessities are covered first, I can spend my time and money on what I want. I did have to promise to stay away from venomous until our kid or kids are old enough, although I don't really have any intention of owning any anyway.

When we first met she was scared if snakes, now she has a favorite. It's an amelanistic corn that she bought me herself. I would have thought that the leopard geckos would have sparked her interest in reptiles, but she could care less about them. She's still nervous about the boas because of their size, but she's happy that they are the largest snake that I care to own.

When she first became pregnant her mom said that I was going to have to get rid of the boas. I didn't have to say a word, she told her mom that I had them before we met, they are my babies, and they're not going anywhere.