Connie (Mrs. WebSlave) - FaunaClassifieds
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FaunaClassifieds Site HELP & Feedback Forum Anything of a nature concerning this website, moderators, admin, or anything having to do with how it is being run, should go here. Criticism is welcome, but abusive antagonism is not. THIS IS NOT THE FORUM FOR FEEDBACK CONCERNING BUYERS AND SELLERS! Such posts are ONLY allowed as replies to classified ads posted by the specific member involved in a specific issue with you.

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Old 05-07-2022, 12:29 AM   #1
Unhappy Connie (Mrs. WebSlave)

I need to apologize to everyone. I have not been myself lately, and haven't been around here all that much. Connie had surgery last week, and after bringing her back home, I have been doing my level best to help her in every way. She is recovering from the surgery, but that really is just the tip of the iceberg.

The love of my life has been diagnosed with Stage 4 ovarian cancer. She is supposed to be starting chemotherapy next week. I don't know how that will go, nor what the future holds for us. The future has never looked so dark to me before in my life. So she is my top priority (actually my top 1000+ priorities) and I have to be by her side, no matter what. So nearly everything else in my life is on HOLD right now.

Although all the moderators have offered to pitch in and help as much as possible, there are just some things that only I can do as the administrator. I am looking at setting up an alternate administrator account to try to delegate those tasks as much as possible, but really haven't had much willpower or dedicated time to put much effort into it. My mind just cannot stay focused on anything for too long before it veers towards Connie.

So things might fall behind here. Maybe even WAY behind. And correspondence with me will likely not be all that quick by any measure. I do apologize for this, but I hope everyone understands the reason why.
Old 05-07-2022, 08:55 AM   #2
Rich so sorry to hear this. The site will be fine so put your energy into Connie and yourself. If I can be of any help please let me know. I will be thinking of you both and sending my prayers.
Old 05-07-2022, 11:01 AM   #3
Rich and Connie,

No apologies necessary! The site will be fine while you two tend to matters far more important. Hoping and praying for a positive outcome.

I'm also available if you need any help with busy-work on the websites. I wish I were close enough to bring a hot meal to your house, or anything else that needs doing.

Thinking of you both.

Old 05-07-2022, 08:55 PM   #4
I hope nobody minds that I use this thread as a much needed catharsis.

Planned on going down to the local seafood market where Connie used to work part time and pick up some shrimp for dinner. Planned on an earlier start but she was tucked into her recliner and sound asleep when she said she wanted to leave. I didn't have the heart to wake her up. So we just got a later start than we had planned on.

It's a struggle to get her into the jeep, so when we got down to the market, she just stayed in the passenger seat while I went up to get the shrimp. We have known the people working there since we moved down here 30 years ago. Of course, some were kids back then. The owner (Debbie) has turned over the market to her one son (Ike), but she still comes down there often. Connie called her to let her know we were coming down, but she had to use my phone since she had forgotten to grab hers off of the recliner.

Debbie actually met us at the surgeon/oncologist's building this past Wednesday (05-04) as both her and her husband are undergoing treatment and followup for their own cancer problems. Debbie sat in on the meeting and she was a big help with questions we didn't knew enough about to even ask.

But back to the present day. Ike asked me what I wanted to get and I asked for 7 lbs of shrimp. Normally they just take the heads off, bag them in ice, and off we go. Seemed like they were taking a long time, so I looked on on them (Ike and P A) and they were actually cleaning the shrimp for me. I didn't expect that, as that is not usual for them to do that. Apparently Debbie had asked them to clean the shrimp for us whenever we come up so we wouldn't have to bother with it. Actually, seemed odd that no one asked me how Connie was doing, so I guess that meant they knew. Just as well, as I don't think I could have said a word without crumpling.

While P A was finishing up, I asked Ike what I owed them. They always give us a discount since Connie used to work there part time for so long, but this time, he just waved me off, saying to not worry about it, just take care of Connie. I just felt stunned and stood there with my mouth hanging open like an idiot. I insisted on paying, but I had to back off when I felt like Ike was going to belt me one, saying "Stop being a hard head, Rich. We WANT to help in any way we can."

So I went back to the Jeep to tell Connie they won't accept my money, and she nearly burst in tears. She told me to tell them they HAVE to accept us paying for stuff from them or we could not come back there. Man, talk about being between a rock and another rock. I did get Ike to accept some money, but he just gave some of it back. Again the accusation of being a hard head.

Meanwhile Debbie showed up at the market and parked right next to the Jeep. P A had walked over to the Jeep to talk to Connie, while Ike carried the cooler with shrimp to place it in the back. They all said that we are family to them. Ike lives about 2 miles from us, and he told me to call him absolutely anytime we ever need any help. I think it did Connie real good to have these friends around here right now. Personally I was wishing I had taken one of the 2mg diazepam pills my doctor had prescribed for me yesterday.

Connie just really hates to ask for help. She will give anyone the shirt off of her back without hesitation, but getting her to accept kindness from others, even me, is a real tough sell.

Anyway, we have been spending time in the kitchen together. Me acting like I am helping her to make dinner, while she is training me how to cook if the worst should happen. I have always tended to leave the kitchen her domain, because that is just the way she wants it. Tomorrow I get lessons in the laundry room.

Sleeping is tough. She sleeps in the recliner in the family room so we can elevate her feet to get rid of the swelling in her legs and feet after surgery. She also has a small blood clot in her left leg that was determined via ultrasound during the oncology visit on 05-04. So she is on blood thinners for that. Sleeping is pretty rough. Connie can't get out of the recliner unassisted, so she has to call to me whenever she has to pee. Which is about every 1.5 to 2 hours. And that is when she REALLY has to go, so I am tasked with trying to get her up and out of the recliner quickly, without hurting her in the process.

She seems to be healing up well from her surgery, and hasn't had even a Tylenol for several days now. But every now and again she will have to cough, and that gives her what she calls a "catch" in her right side. I think it is from that lung still recovering from having been completely surrounded with fluid. That fluid was extracted while in the emergency room at the hospital before the actually aforementioned surgery. 2.6 liters of fluid were removed from around that lung. The only sign that Connie had of this impending problem was a persistent cough. Of course, with COVID, you can imagine what we were thinking. We really thought it would turn out being pneumonia.

Ah well. I took one of those diazepam pills when we got home from the market just to see what effect it would have on me. I have to say I can talk about this right now without feeling like I am made of eggshells, so I guess they do help. I don't feel that it would impair my judgement, and I might be temped to take one for any upcoming meetings we have with the oncologist.

I did start a thread earlier in the moderator's section, but felt I just needed to start this new one more publicly. Not sure what I expect out of it, but I just feel that I need to let my emotions out to hopefully release some stress. Which at this point, I have no idea whether that will work or not. This will probably be extremely painful for me to read over again in the future. I am not sure if that will be more or less painful than it feels right now, though.

Sorry if these are going to seem like random thoughts. But that is really because they are. There is no linearity to life right now.
Old 05-07-2022, 09:19 PM   #5
Sorry you two are going through this, it isn't easy so vent as much as you feel you need as letting it build up to much won't help.

Old 05-08-2022, 11:20 AM   #6
Socratic Monologue
Rich, I'm glad you're willing to share all this here. Complicated thoughts can clarify themselves somewhat when they're written out. I hope you don't get too hung up on things not being linear right now, and that you focus on doing the little things that really matter now.

Don't forget that you have many friends here who are listening and sending supportive and caring thoughts your way.
Old 05-08-2022, 02:40 PM   #7
As long as I am near Connie and see her smile, I am OK. But when she is out of sight, it is pretty tough. I took a Diazepam yesterday, but I couldn't tell much difference. But I mus be acting weird over the last few days ad Connie is worried about ME. That is just like her. She worries more about everyone else than she does about herself. I am hoping her worrying about me will be strong enough incentive to fight with all her might to get through this. So I have to be careful to act strong enough to support her, but not so strong that she starts to believe she is not needed in my life.

Took a Diazepam about 45 minutes ago because I was feeling a little bit jittery when I went to Walmart for a curbside pickup. Connie is trying to stock up on some stuff that she hopes will help her during chemo.

Oh, speaking of which, I checked the stats for Florida on COVID infections and they appear to be on the rise. Damn.... Yeah, like we need this to further complicate things.

BTW, I likely won't proof read what I am writing much, so I hope I am coherent.

Thank you all for your well wishes. I hope.... well after staring at that for 10 minutes, all I can say is that I HOPE.
Old 05-10-2022, 01:49 AM   #8
Well, my heart got quite a stress test today. I texted the nurse on the oncology team for Connie to try to get a time and date for when her chemotherapy is supposed to take place this week. She got back to me and said someone will be contacting me shortly. Then the very next message was "Connie does not need chemotherapy."

That implied to me that chemotherapy would not help her, so they were not going to waste resources and effort on even trying. How do you make a makeshift defibrillator? I had taken a valium just a bit earlier, and I got to thinking I am going to need the entire bottle, like RIGHT NOW.

I texted back asking here to qualify that statement, but nothing was forthcoming. I figured she just didn't want to be the one to give me the BAD news. So I texted the surgeon/oncologist and asked here what was going on.

Well, apparently the nurse was in surgery at the time, and just misidentified my phone number, thinking it was someone else. I guess that someone else is in for some bad news. Not that I would wish that on anyone, but I sure was glad it wasn't me. How the hell could I have broken that kind of news to Connie? Honestly, I don't think I could.

So in any event, Connie will be starting her chemo on Wednesday morning. I sure do hope she will have a smoother ride than some other people have with it. If not, I will probably have my work cut out for me to convince her to continue the treatments. She told me a long time ago that she would never go through chemo if she got cancer. Not sure why she changed her mind. If I see her in abject misery from the chemo, I don't know if I would have the strength to try to convince her to continue. Fortunately we know people who have been in a very bad way with cancer and after chemo are still kicking today, so that would be some strong incentive, I think.
Old 05-10-2022, 03:15 PM   #9
I bet that did get you going Rich. I remember my trip to hospital when I passed out in kitchen. Doctor said, You have congestive heart failure and said, nurse will be in soon to give me something to help and walked out. I was like ok, am I dying or can I be fixed? Good thing I had cell phone so I could google it.

Best wishes on the chemotherapy. Still no picnic but they have gotten much better at managing sickness with chemo last 5 years or so. Will be thinking of you both.
Old 05-10-2022, 05:35 PM   #10
Just now reading all this. Rich my thoughts and prayers are with you and Connie.

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