Ode to Bearded Pets
Ode to Bearded Pets
Reptiles are some of the coolest animals yet,
So I sought to fill the void in my life,
And purchased one from the net.
I went to kingsnake.com, and all the other sites,
I clicked on the subcategory “Ball pythons”,
Because “HEY” its better than flying kites
Snakes are cool. There’s no denying that,
But when I ordered from Bearded Pets,
I would have rather someone sh!t in my hat
The snake arrived shriveled, frozen, and dead,
I called to complain, but Bearded Pets told me,
“Don’t worry, he’s just in shed”
I said this is bullsh!t. This isn’t just me?
Bearded Pets responded, saying
“What guarantee?”
I told them, “Get ready. I’m on my way to come kick your @ss”,
They act so innocent
As if just returning from mass
I voice to the world about my experiences, here on the BOI,
I find others here who have been taken,
By the cunning-so sly
They operate like wolves amongst the sheep,
Selling garbage, scamming others,
And BROTHER the sh!t here is getting deep.
Yea, yea sure……you guys think you got me,
When im thru with you, MOTHERF****RS,
You’re going to the penitentiary
I thought it was cute!
Jason Shephard
President of the United Herpers Front Against Bearded Pets
PS I’m not just the president of the UHFABP, but I’m also a client. ROFLMAO If you've had a problem w/ Bearded Pets call our hotline @ 1-800-FUCT-OVR ext. 715