Competence and sex

[RedQuake]

well im the exact opposite. i like to have sex (at least once a year, which seems to be the rate for me) also, as far as the competence and sex thing goes, i figure if i know where to stick it then im good to go.

Oh having sex isn't exactly an issue for me, i've got a ummmmmmm well, bed friend. can pretty much have sex anytime i or he wants. Its finding someone who will offer me a bit more than that.........thats near impossible LOL

I also got a good laugh from the above.......of course right now, blaring migraine pounding away it only made things hurt more........who says laughter is the best medicine........they lied! Anyways, yes!!! being able to know where to stick Mr. Happy is VERY important........so is knowing how to kiss. I was once with a guy i nicknamed Octopus Man because he literally sucked my face LMAO. I think thats why i like older men......they have had enough experience to know stuff lol........answers my question (from this thread or another i don't recall...) about why guys have to sew their oats. Its practice LOL. I do think that i'm alot luckier than most men out there. Its gotta be easier for me to find a guy into reptiles (or at least not freaked out by them) then it is for a guy to find a gal into them.

 

[old guy]

Just the other day I was having a

conversation with a somewhat chauvinist pig ( and I'm a male by the way ) on his thinking and beliefs that time have not changed in the sex benders of where females needs to be taking care of and or still rides the coat tails of men. HA ! I reminded him that it may of NEVER ever of been that way and if it was it just might of been a male suppressed syndrome down through the ages. I think that some of my acquaintances has a problem with my wife and I reverse roll of life where i am a stay at home husband that has raised our children in their later teen years and now am somewhat raising our grandchild. Since there is a semi-age difference between us, I cannot find a decent paying job compared to her and her skills. So in other words, she brings home the bacon and i do the domestic stuff in which she is PERFECTLY happy with ! I also have referred several people to use this machine that I am posting on for the main reason we have them. Research the fact that in very many relationships these days of the opposite sex kind, it is common more than ever that I am not alone. What do ya think........

 

[old guy]

I meant...

male suppressing female syndrome.......

conversation with a somewhat chauvinist pig ( and I'm a male by the way ) on his thinking and beliefs that time have not changed in the sex benders of where females needs to be taking care of and or still rides the coat tails of men. HA ! I reminded him that it may of NEVER ever of been that way and if it was it just might of been a male suppressed syndrome down through the ages. I think that some of my acquaintances has a problem with my wife and I reverse roll of life where i am a stay at home husband that has raised our children in their later teen years and now am somewhat raising our grandchild. Since there is a semi-age difference between us, I cannot find a decent paying job compared to her and her skills. So in other words, she brings home the bacon and i do the domestic stuff in which she is PERFECTLY happy with ! I also have referred several people to use this machine that I am posting on for the main reason we have them. Research the fact that in very many relationships these days of the opposite sex kind, it is common more than ever that I am not alone. What do ya think........

 

[handsomeRob]

ummmmm.....im sorry. what was the question?

 

[RedQuake]

things might change but they always remain the same

conversation with a somewhat chauvinist pig ( and I'm a male by the way ) on his thinking and beliefs that time have not changed in the sex benders of where females needs to be taking care of and or still rides the coat tails of men. HA ! I also have referred several people to use this machine that I am posting on for the main reason we have them. Research the fact that in very many relationships these days of the opposite sex kind, it is common more than ever that I am not alone. What do ya think........

Old guy: the man you were speaking with is correct, in many parts of the world woman still "ride the coat tails of men" and times have not changed. Here, however, womans lib opened the doors for me and other woman to be more independent and be seen as equals....although not always. I do see supressed woman here though. An minor accident i stopped at for example. I'm assuming they were east indian (turbans). Only the men spoke to me and they would not accept any help from me, a woman.....woman are still seen as inferior. You are correct in that many pple have switched the preconceived gender roles, men are staying home while woman work. Nothing wrong with that. My personal feeling is that i like having a job, an income of my own. Separation/divorse is so common now and after my split it was up to me to take care of the bills......so having my own income kept me from going under. Thats not to say i wouldn't love to stay at home & raise the kids but i honestly dont' think its possible for everyone to do that.

 

[handsomeRob]

Red, i dont have any kids but youre than welcome to come over and take care of the little guy, lol.

 

[RedQuake]

Red, i dont have any kids but youre than welcome to come over and take care of the little guy, lol.

Now see, i have a few offers for just that........and as much as i love taking care of *the little guy* i'm looking for a solid long term relationship, moreso than just sex. It seems men like me enough to sleep with me but not enough to love me.........*pout* lol. Oh well.

 

[kiote9]

Now see, i have a few offers for just that........and as much as i love taking care of *the little guy* i'm looking for a solid long term relationship, moreso than just sex. It seems men like me enough to sleep with me but not enough to love me.........*pout* lol. Oh well.

I understand the sex offers all too well. It might just be that being female and somewhat attractive make a bigger difference than I thought, but I could get laid anywhere anytime. It is difficult to get worked up over someone who just wants to hit it and go, though.

The love thing has been almost as troublesome, to be honest. I have had "friends" who told me they couldn't sleep with me because they loved me and weren't free to be in a relationship with me. This was when I was not looking for anything but sex. Others try to protect me from myself out of love.

All I want is a damn good friend who cares but knows when to go home. That and really really great sex!

 

[RedQuake]

i had exactly that.......well kinda LOL

All I want is a damn good friend who cares but knows when to go home. That and really really great sex!

When i say kinda i mean.......well the sex was alright.... we were bed friends and at first thats all i wanted......the thing is he'd act as if we were a couple being all nice and loving UNTIL he got what he wanted.......then he was rather cold. One thing he said really pissed me off....that he didn't want to date me cause he didn't want to settle for 2nd best! What a pain that was. At that point i started to feel like if all i'm good for is sex......well then......actually......i got depressed.....badly and hit bottom... I can dole out the sex easlily. I was *used* as a toy when i was very young. That pretty much screws up a gal for life! Sex is easy and if i want a guys attention i know that the boss is in his pants. Talk to the man downstairs and you'll get the attention, be it for a short time, of the guy upstairs LOL. What upsets me about this way of thinking is that i know i'm more than that. I can provide all the things of a relationship plus the sex. I want to be more than the sex toy. A wife, mother, partner, and lover.

 

[kiote9]

Oh Lianne, the things you can learn to make life better....

Be yourself above all. Don't compromise for fear of losing. You CAN call the shots and you'll get more respect and better results.

I can do the doormat thing with the best of them, till I get to the point where I have to come first or die. The depression isn't worth it. We are all better than that.

Would you respect a person who did everything you said? Someone who gives up what they want because you don't want it? Or do you want a person to have their own opinion? Someone you can argue with then agree to disagree and move on.

If someone says you are good enough to screw but not to date, they have issues. That thing about being loving till the loving is over....well, I've heard it is common. Something about men want to go to sleep afterward and women want to cuddle and talk. Personally, I want to go to sleep afterward and my last bf wanted to communicate.

He was one who had the upper hand in our relationship.....until I decided that if I was going to be miserable with or without him that I would be better off without. He was much nicer once it hit home that I was serious. I miss him sometimes. We are still friends, but it isn't the same.

Next time, if there ever is a next time, I will be myself all the time.

 

[handsomeRob]

if a woman wanted to be with me just because she wanted to have some kids and be a mother, i would feel used.

 

[kiote9]

Rob, if some chick wanted you for a breeder/provider you would feel justified in feeling used IMO.

I wish you lived closer to me cause I would really like to sit and talk to you in person. I bet you have a lot of opinions and thoughts and would be a great conversationalist.

 

[handsomeRob]

ive given you my number many times. and i wish i lived closer to you as well. cause then i wouldnt be here.

 

[RedQuake]

if a woman wanted to be with me just because she wanted to have some kids and be a mother, i would feel used.

WOW! i never thought it would come across like that and it was by no means my intention. The fact is i have to make known what my goals are because alot of men i know and was interested in dating had no interest in kids. Frankly i don't want to waist anymore time dating pple that don't have the same wants/desires as myself. I also do not wish to have a man provide for me. I am more than capable of taking care of myself and don't NEED a man around to tend to the bills. I can handle that stuff on my own, perhaps even a mortgage once my car loan is paid down. I am and always will be a very independent woman, one who is still working out the kinks, and will not be controlled by anyone. I've had enough of that. What i want is to find a man who can love me for who and what i am, treat me with respect, share the same interests as myself, be a friend and lover. A life partner. Someone to come home to and be able to share my day with. Its about not being alone. Although i do look forward to moving out of here into my own house and being able to come home to just the animals for a while. I live with 4 other pple right now and theres no such thing as *quiet*, plus NO privacy. I don't just want to have a man around to be the father to the kids......heck, i've already decided that i'd be Ok with being a single mom.

 

[kiote9]

ive given you my number many times. and i wish i lived closer to you as well. cause then i wouldnt be here.

I know. I am not good with the phone. I can write very easily, but have a hard time expressing myself verbally. It's so much easier in writing or in person.

 

[RedQuake]

Oh Lianne, the things you can learn to make life better....
Be yourself above all. Don't compromise for fear of losing. You CAN call the shots and you'll get more respect and better results. I can do the doormat thing with the best of them, till I get to the point where I have to come first or die. The depression isn't worth it. We are all better than that.
QUOTE]

Thanks I do know that i can call the shots, i just don't do it all the time and i should. Your right, depression isn't worth it. This last incident did show me one good thing however. I used to drink alot......i mean alot. I would drink until i couldnt' feel anymore. I also used to do alot of other stupid things when i got down, coping methods, unhealthy ones yes, but it kept me going. This time, i didnt' get lost in the bottom of a bottle. Instead i just grabbed my camera and spent most evenings out taking pics, good ones too All the crap i've gone through has only made me a stronger person. I don't have baggage by the way LOL, i have a past, which has been used to help others. As Baz Luhrumann put it "Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth."

 

[kiote9]

Do you know Deteriorata?

 

[kiote9]

Go placidly amid the noise & waste, & remember what comfort there may be in owning a piece thereof. Avoid quiet & passive persons unless you are in need of sleep. Rotate your tires. Speak glowingly of those greater than yourself and heed well their advice even though they be turkeys; know what to kiss and when. Consider that two wrongs never make a right but that three do. Wherever possible, put people on hold. Be comforted that in the face of all aridity & disillusionment and despite the changing fortunes of time, there will always be a big future in computer maintenance. Remember the Pueblo. Strive at all times to bend, fold, spindle, & mutilate. Know yourself; if you need help, call the FBI. Exercise caution in your daily affairs, especially with those persons closest to you. That lemon on your left, for instance. Be assured that a walk through the ocean of most souls would scarcely get your feet wet. Fall not in love therefore; it will stick to your face. Gracefully surrender the things of youth, birds, clean air, tuna, Taiwan; and let not the sands of time get in your lunch. Hire people with hooks. For a good time, call 606-4311; ask for Ken. Take heart amid the deepening gloom that your dog is finally getting enough cheese; and reflect that whatever misfortune may be your lot, it could only be worse in Milwaukee. You are a fluke of the universe; you have no right to be here, and whether you can hear it or not, the universe is laughing behind your back. Therefore make peace with your God whatever you conceive Him to be: Hairy Thunderer or Cosmic Muffin. With all its hopes, dreams, promises & urban renewal, the world continues to deteriorate. Give up.

When I read that quote the first thing that popped into my mind was "you are a fluke of the universe". It's the same type of thing IMO. I love the sunscreen song!

 

[RedQuake]

I like that one too. Puts things into perspective a bit. If we each are just a fluke of the universe theres little point in believing in fate. Everything that happens is based on chance. Not that i mind that. Actually, having and finding out what my purpose in life is has only caused me stress lol. Wondering if i'll ever know for sure. Being a fluke whatever i do is a bonus. If i make an impression on the world so be it, if not thats alright too. Then again i shouldn't have such great expectations for grand results. Each day i impact someone be it online in chat, or out in the real world. We can all influence others, like a butterfly in one part of the world causing a hurricane in another lol. Maybe i've taken that to far but thats Ok lol

I do luv the sunscreen song, i have the lyrics, think i'll print them out and frame it

 

[Lucille]

For a good time, call 606-4311; ask for Ken.... Hairy Thunderer or Cosmic Muffin.

I called the number right away and Ken did not answer....
I want a Cosmic Muffin..........