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Dating an older man?

shelliebear

shelliebear

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Well, my first marriage lasted 9 months. Endless issues happened...he spent too much money on stupid car parts we didn't need (a $150 cold air intake? Really? on a '93 explorer?) and left me all the time for his friends.
So I ended up cheating...not right, I know. But anyway, I'm now with that guy, and he's quite a bit older than me. He's 51 and I'm 20.
What do you think about dating older guys? A lot of people have been telling me it's disgusting, but I couldn't disagree more. I've fantasized about older men since I was 10. In fact my mother used to catch me on the internet talking to 40 and 50 year olds when I was that age, and she'd get angry and set up internet passwords that I bypassed over time.
I find older men...much older, even, to be very attractive. I like that they are more "settled"--usually they have a house, a college degree, a job, they know where they want to go. I even like that my guy has family--I'm not sure if I want a family yet, so being around his lets me get to know what it's like. It's nice to have someone who wants to spend time with me, to get to know me, not just be selfish and focus on their needs.
And without going too in depth, there is always that sex factor, with experience. He knows things I had no idea of and it makes it much nicer.
What are your thoughts? Have you dated someone older? What did you think?
I'm just curious to hear other's ideas. It's not going to change my opinion but I'd love to hear yours.
 
Not to mention he's experienced a lot of life. He taught me to play cribbage and we've watched old movies I hadn't seen together--Casablanca, Rocky, Roman Holiday, Star Trek, etc.
And I don't just find them attractive on the inside. I think they look quite nice on the outside too. :p
 
I will only date gentlemen older than me (I'm going to be 30 this Dec). (My ex fiance cured me of EVER wanting to date a guy in my age range again.) My current SO is 16 years older than me, and I've dated a couple gentlemen that were 20+ years older than me...

My mom married my dad when she was 23, and he was 51. So you could say that I've been brought up to not really think about age.

Hell I've been attracted to older men ever since I went through puberty. I have had an ongoing LOVE attraction for Sam Elliott since I was about 13. He was, and always has been SEXY as hell to me!

You were young when you got married...Ugh I remember being your age, and thinking about getting married (ex fiance)...So glad I didn't do it. Here's something that pretty much sums up the way I feel about marriage:
 

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I was young indeed. Next time I won't make that mistake. I like that picture, haha.
I like how older men look, especially gray hair. Oh my, nothing is quite as sexy as gray hair.
Dunno, I just find older really hot. And he takes his time. :p
 
Just so you know, it works the other way round too... my partner being 13 years younger:thumbsup:

Maybe we could develop a rotational system, 20 year old girls with 40 year old men, then when you get to be a 40 year old woman you get a 20 year old boy toy...
 
As long as it makes you happy then don't worry about what other people think. I always got crap because I dated so much younger than I am. Sometimes you just need to do what is right for you. You will see if it is right for you, if you want your own family, or if you want someone you own age. I completely agree with the older guy is more settled, but if you don't have some excitement you will get bored. Find one or two friends you can talk to to get advice and take it day by day.
 
When I was 17 I had a 39 yr old girlfriend for almost 2 years. I don't think I could do more than 20 years younger than me now. Once the sexual part starts to wind down there has to be some type of connection I can relate to for a day after day relationship. However if it works for you it is good!
 
Does it really matter what anyone says to you then?

If he treats you right, turns you on, you have a connection, and he's good in bed, then I say screw what people are saying.
 
Life is far too short to be wasted being unhappy. I see a lot of patients who really crave the approval of others and of society. Some just don't have the "screw you if you don't like it" thought ability. However, the day will come when you look back on your life. If you are truly happy being with an older (or younger! Cough, Helen, cough) partner than those happy thoughts and memories will win out. The societal norms will always be a beast. People will always say mean, cruel, and hurtful things. What you do with those negatives is purely up to you!

On a personal note, while my hubby is only about 10 years older than me.....he's quite covered in ink. With one inch gauged ears. You can Imagine! the look on people's faces when they see us together. I'm about as prim and proper and professional as they come. Yet, I fell in love with a guy who people seriously think about hiding their children from. It's quite comical to see their reactions too! Especially the playground moms when he brings our son there to play. The same moms who love to sit on a bench with me are darn right afraid of my hubby.

Bottom line? Do what (and whom!) you love! If someone's going to be negative, that's their choice. But don't hold onto that negative!
 
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I think age is just a number and (negative) people like to focus on that .
I don't think it's the age that makes "you" attracted to the person, but it's their experience, their confidence, their looks, their place in life etc. Yes...all that comes with age but I'm just saying that I don't think you are attracted to someone because of a number.....but because you are actually attracted to THEM.
Does that make sense ??
 
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