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    Want to get rid of them? Simple. Just become a Contributor level member or above and they will be gone. -> Please click HERE."

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    Google Adsense ad revenue for December, 2025 was just $30 over the cost of the lease for the server running this site. So, in effect, the money providing the incentive for me to continue running this site is coming SOLELY from the paid memberships and sponsorships here. Which honestly ain't much....

It's the Real Thing

To me, a Real Relationship means: (more than 1 OK)

  • Someone to come home and share my day with

    Votes: 30 71.4%

  • Family, children, a future generation built together

    Votes: 16 38.1%

  • A best friend forever

    Votes: 26 61.9%

  • I don't know, I've never had one

    Votes: 1 2.4%

  • Someone to clean/take out the trash/fix the dishwasher

    Votes: 6 14.3%

  • Knowing I will never be alone

    Votes: 13 31.0%

  • Someone to share the bills with

    Votes: 8 19.0%

  • Sex with someone who knows how I like it

    Votes: 25 59.5%

  • And gives me as much as I want

    Votes: 18 42.9%

  • A social network: my family, her family

    Votes: 5 11.9%

  • An integration into our religion as well as our private relationship

    Votes: 2 4.8%

  • Being accepted for what I am

    Votes: 28 66.7%

  • Someone who will love me even when I am sad/ill/poor/upset/tired

    Votes: 33 78.6%

  • Respect for each other

    Votes: 33 78.6%

  • The ability to fight and still have love left after

    Votes: 25 59.5%
  • Total voters
    42
Lucille

Lucille

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A lot about this forum has to do with finding and meeting that Right Person, either for an evening, a relationship, or for a lifetime. It is all about getting there, and getting (well, whatever it was that you were looking to get,lol). :D

Most of what I write has to do with jockeying for position and running the race, not what happens after you cross the finish line.

It would be good to hear from some of you that have had successful long term relationships, (at least a year) and how you found that person and what were the Real Things that kept you in the relationship.

What does a 'solid relationship' mean to you? If you have ever had one, or have one now, try to describe your insights on what is important to you. :)
 
Lucille ??

lucille said:
It would be good to hear from some of you that have had successful long term relationships, (at least a year) and how you found that person and what were the Real Things that kept you in the relationship.

What does a 'solid relationship' mean to you? If you have ever had one, or have one now, try to describe your insights on what is important to you. :)
Click to expand...



Lucille,
Does beining married for 19 years and together for 22 years in to the same person in the first go around and still married count for a solid relationship?
can a relationship like this participate in this form.
 
Randall: It certainly looks like you have a successful life and a wonderful marriage. I wish there were more like you.....
 
My last relationship was almost four years. To me it was work. Work to keep us romantic, work to keep small things from becoming daily little bickerings, work to keep growing together.

It ended when I realized I Was the only one doing any work and I was too tired to go on.... if I ever find anyone I will be sure not only to back off a bit (towards the end I was his "mother") but also to not keep hanging on when it becomes obvious the other person doesn't want to share the workload. "Work" may be the wrong word, but I think you can understand :)
 
No, work is the right word, just as it's work to raise up the hatchlings into beautiful adults. Relationships are like any other living thing: it requires work to keep it healthy and growing. Not everyone wants to hear that or acknowledge it, which is part of the problem with so many relationships dying.
 
Yeah, it takes a lot of work. My two year relationship just ended, and it was because neither one of us where putting in enough time or effort. We both worked different hours and days, we would always say "lets go to the movies on ________" and then it wouldn't happen......... I would have to work or she would................... I used to buy her little presents all the time, but that eventually stopped (new-ness wore off?)............ I would also meet new people (other girls) and become slightley interested in them, of course I would never cheat........ But things just changed. It sucks now, because after being broken up you see everything that was wrong, but its too late to fix it.......... It really is a bummer.

Matt
 
that sucks dude...

I'm enjoying an unanticipated X-mas alone, too. I just broke up w/ my gf. It was relatively short term, come to find out...I'm "the other guy" in a marital love affair, and I didn't know. What a sucky soap opera. It's amazing sometimes how things present themselves and the truth surfaces......kind of like my court room here on the BOI.

I guess I can't blamer her for wanting to lie to her husband to be with me. Afterall, she is only human. She had "all this" in front of her....she probably did what any normal woman wants to do (sigh):-D ROFLMAO

I haven't ever been married, but I am more than qualified to take the poll. All of the above should be an option.

js
 
That is hard when you find out an entire relationship was based on a lie. And for you that was a VERY big one! If you're in my area stop by for a lonely Christmas drink :)
 
I think that "commitment" and "focus" need to be thrown in there with "work", as those specifics are every bit as important. Just as in growing a reptile business (just to use something that many of us here can relate to), there are days (weeks?) when you just don't feel like giving any more time or money, but you think about the long term and you do what you've committed to do. LTR's are bound to go through those times when you wonder if it's worth it....but if the commitment is still there, those times usually pass and you realize why that person was so important to you as a partner in the first place.

One other thing that I've noticed is how people in a relationship can stop showing general courtesy to one another. If a perfect stranger holds a door for you, you most likely make it a point to say "thanks" and give them a big smile...if your partner makes that same polite gesture, do you acknowledge it and say "thanks", or just expect it?
 
aw shucks...

Thanks for the invite. I'd take you up on it, but unfortunately I'm a ways away. Maybe some other time ;-)

Yep. T'was quite the lie. Lucky me...he's also a Sheriff's Deputy. Apparently his intentions were "to not" share his wife, and I have heard he isn't thrilled...can't say I would be either. I even busted him following me one time.

I sent her an e-mail today, asking her if the three of us can sort this out on "Jerry Springer", but I haven't heard anything yet. :-D There should be like an online BOI for relationships. "Anybody Ever Date: Jane Doe?????", or...."(thumbs down) Jane Doe - Bad GIRL!". Stuff like that could save a guy some trouble (lol)

Jason Shephard
 
the longest relationship i had was 8 years . it started out on a fluke . i went to break things off with her casue i found out she was married . her husband came by . she refused to get out of my car .she ended up comign home with me . now i didnt really want to date her , but i wanted to be a "good guy " and help her out ....for the most part things were pretty good for the first 4 or 5 years . but she went through alot of changes . it wsa the first time in here life that she had freedom , and it changed her . she went from the woman that went into hysterics the first time we got into a fight and i went out with my friendsto 5 or 6 years later goign out to fetish clubs 2 or 3nights a month with my friend Vicky ( and as good a friend as vicky is i knwo she has NEVER been faithfull to any guy ). she nearly bankrupted me becasue she would not come out and admit that she was screwign up withthe bills . and she had to handle the bills becasue being able to work for the first time in her life she wasnt willing to let me manager her money , so i gave mine to her and let her manage things . anny way . any relationship takes a certain amoutn of work . the day that she infiormed me that it wasnt possible for her to consider my feelings in relation to things she did , it was over . only later did i find out that she had been cheatign on me . i guess the point of this is , peopel change . it takes work to keep things good . if both people arent workign together it will eaither fail or become a bad relationship . and a bad relationship can be alot worse than a failed one .
 
ms_terese said:
You'd make a fortune.
Click to expand...


Just contact any of my ex's and they will be glad to give you dirt on me. :(

#1 complaint is I am scare of commentment. Not true I just avoid it like the plague. ;)
 
no pain no gain......

I must agree-in just about all things-work is a requirement.The hobby- many late nights cleaning feeding-Getting a gift for yours truly-arguing and making up ,forgiving and lets not forget the work that should involve overtime-coping to your errors.impoving yourself and my favorite makeup sex-its off to work I go ..... lol-its cleaning night -got ya! :bolt01:
 
I agree, relationships ARE work, but if you find someone special, it is so very worth it.....
 
if

Im sure you realize "If" carries alot of weight-it takes years to really know someone,its unfortunate but not everyone plays by the same rules and not everyone plays with the same or full deck-if there r red flags from the jump chances r they're here to stay ,much in the same way as a viper- sweet but fatal!!!If by chance you do find someone to grow old with ,that is special ,but now days-rare !!!!God bless those who have it,lots of luck and I do mean lots of luck to those who dont-its not pretty out there!! :2hammers:
 
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