If I had a for trade add and you replied. to me it is you who is initiating the trade deal. therefore it is you who should send first.
Far as I know you pegged it dead on Ritchie, if you reply to someone's as to BUY an animal, you'd send money first... same goes with replying to an ad for a trade. Not to diminish the animals as living things here but you're asking to give someone a commodity for their commodity, money, other animals, used cars, pints of blood... Doesn't matter.
Posting an ad is not the initiation of a trade, it's merely a manner of letting people know they
might possibly be interested in a trade
IF you have something they want and
IF they haven't traded the animal yet (Take down ads in a resonable time frame of course) and
IF you're willing to abide by their terms and conditions for the deal (or a pre-decided medium on the terms and conditions) in the
exact same manner as you would if you you were exchanging money for that animal.
It's unreasonable to ask someone to ship first and you'd pay later when you respond to a for sale ad, right? The same applied for trades.
That is a good point and a potential mitigating factor in this issue. I would and have happily shipped animals off on my own dime to people who I knew and trusted and to people who I knew
OF and trusted (reasoning that their reputation means more to them than a $50 snake and being easygoing and trusting when given a reason in order to facilitate an exchange)...
The important thing here is that there are rules and guidelines in place for a reason. To protect everyone involved... The good thing about rules is that they can be bent or even broken when there's a positive outcome. I obviously don't mean the "Don't sell normal ball pythons as het for albino." type rules... But rules such as who ships first.
If someone wants to, they can go ahead and take a leap of faith at their own risk and ship "out of turn" or offer a longer guarantee or trust someone and not require proof of a shipping mishap or replace an animal more than once or... Whatever that bend of the rule may be.
But nobody involved can anticipate or expect or demand that a rule be altered unless it's discussed in advance. It's a rare occurance and a risk that certain people may CHOOSE to take for people they feel comfortable with and trust.
The key words are "comfortable and trust"
In this situation I must ask... Robby or Roby or Randy...
Why on earth would anyone have reason to trust you like that?!
Not to be offensive and not to call you a bad guy but... You're young and making deals without your parents interactions, you seem to have multiple names and shifting motivation, you do not communicate well (An issue that's been thouroughly discussed as a trust issue), you don't seem to grasp some of these concepts about who ships what where and when and what sort of conduct is and is not appropriate when approaching someone about a deal, it's difficult for people to understand your writing, which could potentially lead to arguments about what was and was not offered... All in all a load of headaches that people just don't need or want. Don't even want to risk.
Add in the fact that nobody knows who you are or anything about you (Me either, we're in the same boat there)... You are not a "name" you do not have fifty or ten or even one positive post on the BOI that people would trust... So...
Why would anyone trust you?
Knowing all those factors are present, understanding the situation for what it is, you must see where people would be hesitant (especially without parental consent or interaction) to enter into a deal with you.
Knowing that people would be hesitant, you should understand that you'll need to be more willing to make a few sacrifices, abide by the rules, both written and unwritten and understand that the burden of risk will have to be on you rather than the other party...
especially when you are initiating any interaction.
Like I said before, I'm in pretty much the same boat as you are in a lot of respects. Not many (big name) people know who I am by name. A few may reccognize me visually but I don't have any major history of deals or trades or large purchases or sales that people can use to judge my honesty and integrity... I've done very few deals over the internet, relativly few locally as well... I may not have that need to verify any transactions with my parents (not for a long... long time) but I'm just a hobbiest... As a hobbiest without a large reputation, I understand that I need to asume a slightly greater burden of risk. When the "rules" dictate, I ship first and trust in my ability to judge the character of others to keep me safe. It may not always work, but I fully understand that it is my obligation to do so because others do not know me yet I have the capability of knowing them. I have no reasonable expectation for others to attribute positive or trusting characteristics to me because, other than my words and a fairly short list of transactions, they have no way of verifying them.
I try to mitigate this by presenting myself better. I attempt to communicate with relative clarity, I am
usually polite or at the very least initially respectful of others and I try to give them reasons to trust me.
Confusion about my identity, creating false names to give as my own reffrences, communicating poorly and demanding a deviation fro stated terms and policies or those unwritten rules of buisness would not engender trust in others, quite the opposite as I think you have found out.
The only thing people really have is themselves. Their own words, their own actions, their own responsibilities and history... If they understand this and act in a manner that leaves all these in a positive light, life is generally easier on them. Internet trades sure are anyway.
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