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  • IMPORTANT! PLEASE READ!! About the Google Adsense ads being displayed

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    Yeah, I know. They are a pain in the butt. But they pay the bills to keep my server running. Just a fact of life, I am afraid.

    Want to get rid of them? Simple. Just become a Contributor level member or above and they will be gone. -> Please click HERE."

    Is that too much for me to ask of you to keep this site running? Well, sorry about that. I too wish I could get everything for free. But alas.....

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    Google Adsense ad revenue for December, 2025 was just $30 over the cost of the lease for the server running this site. So, in effect, the money providing the incentive for me to continue running this site is coming SOLELY from the paid memberships and sponsorships here. Which honestly ain't much....

Bad Guy Mitch Whyte (WHYTEARK)

Well I do apologize for my temper, perhaps I should have waited a bit to reply to him and not played into him or let it get to me, It brought out the worst in me as I simply don’t like being messed with for no reason, and that was a private e mail where I simply vented a bit in private after losing my temper. I knew he would likely post that on here. Anyways it is what it. it was an unjustified boi post, regardless of my personal response to him which was obviously just venting... now I’m a bad guy ? welcome to Retail online sales and the Boi. Thanks Everyone !


Anger brings out peoples true colors. Was the OP a little confused on how reptiles sales may go? Yes. But that in no way justifies you’re uncalled for, unprofessional and homophobic name calling. This BOI is perfectly justified.
 
For the record, I have not an ounce of homophobia in me, and never have ! I was insulted and simply returned one privately in admittedly very poor taste and I apologize deeply for that to the OP and anyone I offended. There is really nothing more to it than that... I have nothing more to say on the matter. Thank You.
 
Mitch, as much as I would like to believe that of anyone, your own words betray you even now. If you didn't have an ounce of homophobia in you, you would not consider someone being gay an insult. I don't think you're quite getting it now. Instead of denying the whole thing and pretending it's not a big deal, the best thing might be to apologize to the OP and to anyone who has been offended by your own stupidity and ignorance. Just my two cents.
 
You did apologize, good for that. I apologize for not reading further than "I don't have an ounce of homophobia in me", which is obviously not true. I still think that until you come to grips with that fact, an apology is meaningless.
 
A few of my own random thoughts-

We've all missed out on animals that were sold to someone else. Until the buyer says "I'll take it" (and the seller acknowledges), there is no deal, and generally that, in and of itself, does not justify a bad guy thread. If the seller is ignoring the buyer's request for info (extremely common among herp dealers, unfortunately), then chalk it up to poor service and move on. I've missed the boat myself more than once, trying to make a decision while somebody else is sending in their money. Life goes on. There are usually more opportunities to buy herps later.

Regarding:
Some else called next and just said ill take them and paypaled me right away like its supposed to work...
I personally disagree with this statement, which suggests that buyers should be expected not to ask questions. I ask a lot of questions when I am buying herps, just as I might when making any other purchase. However I sometimes detect an attitude of impatience from sellers that suggests they would rather I forgo the questions, and just send the money. This can create a negative atmosphere that, even if a transaction is completed, may lead to later dissatisfaction with the purchase. Nobody has such great animals that I'm not going to ask questions.

Regarding the insulting rant:
If one is going to be in business, then one needs to develop a thick skin. There are going to be upset customers, rightfully and not. No matter how much they may tick you off, losing your cool and insulting them is not the professional choice. For some reason, this type of dialogue between buyers and sellers appears to be fairly common in the herp business, and quite rare almost everyplace else. In most non-herp businesses, a rant like this would have gotten the employee fired, or at least severely reprimanded. Self-employed business owners should hold themselves to a higher standard, not a lesser one. In any event, the OP's mild snarkiness didn't remotely warrant this type of response.
 
I don’t know Whyteark very well but, I think he regrets his actions by what he has written. I know from others he is a respectable and knowledgeable reptile veteran. For someone who has been in the business for as long as he as, it may be particularly disagreeable to have to deal with any push backs on what may be perceived as a simple matter. Even more so if you happened to catch him In a bad day. It’s hard to absorb but some insults perceived as homophobic are cast as just a generalized insult. I seriously doubt Whyteark had any true knowledge of the Ops actual sexual orientation. He made a mistake in poor taste.

https://youtu.be/gQDqRlMeJ4U
 
The bad guy post was uncalled for on the gecko already being sold. That's just the way it works and unless you confirm you are buying and send the funds, someone else may come along.

Unfortunately that rant by Mitch looks pretty bad on him -obviously not a good way to handle an annoying buyer.
 
I don’t know Whyteark very well but, I think he regrets his actions by what he has written. I know from others he is a respectable and knowledgeable reptile veteran. For someone who has been in the business for as long as he as, it may be particularly disagreeable to have to deal with any push backs on what may be perceived as a simple matter. Even more so if you happened to catch him In a bad day. It’s hard to absorb but some insults perceived as homophobic are cast as just a generalized insult. I seriously doubt Whyteark had any true knowledge of the Ops actual sexual orientation. He made a mistake in poor taste.

https://youtu.be/gQDqRlMeJ4U

It doesn't matter what their orientation is, using "him sissy" (the latter being a slur for feminine gay boys) as an insult implies that you think homosexual people are bad, similarly to calling someone an n word regardless of their race.
 
I don’t know, I’ll have to check your claim “him sissy” is directed only to feminine gay boys. Please also define “feminine gay boys” you are the first to drop the term.
 
Since these threads are permanent, I hope that those who do a search, will at least give Mitch a chance.

Kathy

Obviously, I posted before Sean posted screenshots of his conversation with Mitch.

As others have said, Mitch's derogatory response was way out of proportion to Sean's disappointment in the gecko being sold.

No matter how angry I may be, I can't even imagine coming back at someone in that manner. Perhaps this thread was warranted; just not for the original complaint.

Kathy
 
He apologized for the one or two sentences he said, which I don't believe were truly of homophobic intent. I'm sure after all this he is even more sorry. Lets all try to be at least a little understanding. I mean seriously with the intensive goodness of the people here, we should turn the BOI into a dating website, and all the saints on here can start having babies, and all the evil will be bred out of the world. :D
 
He apologized for the one or two sentences he said, which I don't believe were truly of homophobic intent. I'm sure after all this he is even more sorry. Lets all try to be at least a little understanding. I mean seriously with the intensive goodness of the people here, we should turn the BOI into a dating website, and all the saints on here can start having babies, and all the evil will be bred out of the world. :D

Are you kidding me?!

I can't believe I'm hearing this. No, I will not be "understanding" to someone who immediately goes to extremely derogatory slurs like that because someone annoyed him. I mean, I understood him well, he's a man who thinks using those words as an insult is okay. Which it is not.

So, no, I won't be cutting him any slack.
 
Mitch made a pretty poor choice in the lobbing of insults. There is no doubt in my mind that this was plainly reactionary towards a poor review in response to a deal which never really even materialized that he felt was insulting to him. With the wording selected, it was an even more emotional response that has gone off the rails. However, that is not necessarily homophobic in its genesis. A large portion of an insult can come from asserting the recipient is something that the recipient is not. People insult males by calling them females or feminine regardless of whether or not they are. People insult females by calling them males or masculine regardless of whether or not they are. Females and males will insult other females and males by directing homosexual labels in their directions. Sometimes this is homophobic in its genesis. Sometimes this is not. Either is often perceived as being in poor taste, yes.

A lot of these insults are not based on a hatred or fear of the group characterized by the label, but instead is about jarring the mind of the recipient by tossing an ill-fitting label when it comes to the application to that individual. It is an insult of identity not necessarily because the label is "lesser" than that person's identity, but because the label is other than that person's identity. From what I have seen here, it could easily fall into the latter type of situation.

Your sex or your sexual orientation does not make you greater or lesser. Nor does an ill-fitting label. An ill-fitting label, however, may cause an emotional disjointing between external assignment and internal identity...in susceptible individuals. Some people are more resistant to this than others (and in different situations; a heated situation tends to lower resistance).

As a tangent to this, being part of a category of people does not mean one is a pan-categorical representative. One can definitely express what personally upsets oneself, but it does not provide global insight into what offends everyone (if everyone in a category can even find a particular insult attempt offensive in the first place). To assume that kind of role is to assume the subservience or unity of agreement of all other voices in the category. That is an arrogant position. If you feel it, it does not mean all others do. If you do not feel it, it does not mean all others do not. It is important to avoid falling into this trap in thinking because it is a very human notion to believe that others experience things the way one does as an individual.

As for the creation of this thread and the original motivation, I am not (on a personal level) seeing a "bad guy" basis for it. Breaking agreements are higher hurdles than expressing interest or intent and being beaten out. Fortune favors the bold. Act decisively or risk losing out. No one has to wait on your commitment and the earnestness of an intention in your mind is not an observation another party can know to be true even if you put that into words because enough people falsely offer such words frequently enough such that experienced sellers have long ago learned the adage that talk is cheap.

You should indeed be able to ask questions. Such is reasonable. I like to ask questions, too. When I ask questions without a commitment to purchase (and acceptance by the seller), I know that I am putting my acquisition opportunity at risk because someone may be acting while I am asking. That is not the seller's burden. That is the buyer's burden.

Chris, one more of your YouTube links or other insertions of intentional off-topic flotsam and I promise you a vacation from the site. You should know better by now.
 
I find it funny that breeders/sellers get a pass to talk to their customers in any manner they like. Try that in any other profession and see how it works out for you. I wouldn’t matter if you apologized or not. You would be fired on the spot. I work in maintenance and if I said something like that to an owner/renter I’d be looking for a new job. My wife is a Nurse and if she ever spoke to a patient like that she would be removed and the board would investigate her with the possibility of suspending her nursing license.

So you won’t get a pass from me
 
One can definitely express what personally upsets oneself, but it does not provide global insight into what offends everyone (if everyone in a category can even find a particular insult attempt offensive in the first place). To assume that kind of role is to assume the subservience or unity of agreement of all other voices in the category. That is an arrogant position.

I'm not disagreeing with what you say here.
However, (for example) this site provides infractions for certain words that it deems unsuitable or offensive, and not for others, so it is clearly making a judgment about the offense-worthiness of some words over others. I recently received an extra large infraction for a word that I thought was ordinary and not very offensive, so clearly global insight is unnecessary for objection/action.
 
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