• Posted 12/19/2024.
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    I am still waiting on my developer to finish up on the Classifieds Control Panel so I can use it to encourage members into becoming paying members. Google Adsense has become a real burden on the viewing of this site, but honestly it is the ONLY source of income now that keeps it afloat. I tried offering disabling the ads being viewed by paying members, but apparently that is not enough incentive. Quite frankly, Google Adsense has dropped down to where it barely brings in enough daily to match even a single paid member per day. But it still gets the bills paid. But at what cost?

    So even without the classifieds control panel being complete, I believe I am going to have to disable those Google ads completely and likely disable some options here that have been free since going to the new platform. Like classified ad bumping, member name changes, and anything else I can use to encourage this site to be supported by the members instead of the Google Adsense ads.

    But there is risk involved. I will not pay out of pocket for very long during this last ditch experimental effort. If I find that the membership does not want to support this site with memberships, then I cannot support your being able to post your classified ads here for free. No, I am not intending to start charging for your posting ads here. I will just shut the site down and that will be it. I will be done with FaunaClassifieds. I certainly don't need this, and can live the rest of my life just fine without it. If I see that no one else really wants it to survive neither, then so be it. It goes away and you all can just go elsewhere to advertise your animals and merchandise.

    Not sure when this will take place, and I don't intend to give any further warning concerning the disabling of the Google Adsense. Just as there probably won't be any warning if I decide to close down this site. You will just come here and there will be some sort of message that the site is gone, and you have a nice day.

    I have been trying to make a go of this site for a very long time. And quite frankly, I am just tired of trying. I had hoped that enough people would be willing to help me help you all have a free outlet to offer your stuff for sale. But every year I see less and less people coming to this site, much less supporting it financially. That is fine. I tried. I retired the SerpenCo business about 14 years ago, so retiring out of this business completely is not that big if a step for me, nor will it be especially painful to do. When I was in Thailand, I did not check in here for three weeks. I didn't miss it even a little bit. So if you all want it to remain, it will be in your hands. I really don't care either way.

    =====================
    Some people have indicated that finding the method to contribute is rather difficult. And I have to admit, that it is not all that obvious. So to help, here is a thread to help as a quide. How to become a contributing member of FaunaClassifieds.

    And for the record, I will be shutting down the Google Adsense ads on January 1, 2025.
  • Responding to email notices you receive.
    **************************************************
    In short, DON'T! Email notices are to ONLY alert you of a reply to your private message or your ad on this site. Replying to the email just wastes your time as it goes NOWHERE, and probably pisses off the person you thought you replied to when they think you just ignored them. So instead of complaining to me about your messages not being replied to from this site via email, please READ that email notice that plainly states what you need to do in order to reply to who you are trying to converse with.

Moving In...

annmikeal

annmikeal

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I was a zoo keeper, decided to move back by the family and work on getting a house with the boyfriend. So far so good, he tells me that he doesnt want snakes in his house, but that all the other animals are fine. Well, I was pissed, but mom said that she would keep the snakes, so it wont be too bad.

Then, last night we were talking about putting a bid on this awesome house, and he proceeds to tell me that my two little dogs are going to have to live outside in Florida heat. Have you lost you freaking mind...

Just needed someones input on what to do? Thanks, Ann
 
Before moving back to be closer to your family, were you and your boyfriend already living together, and if you were, i'm thinking the snakes were there also, along with your two dogs?
The reason i ask is, why would he all of a sudden decide that the snakes weren't allowed in the house, and the dogs had to live outside?

My opinion is, sit him down, explain that dogs need proper and adequate shelter, they cannot be left outside 24/7, especially in weather conditions like Florida has.
 
If he is asking you to make these type of sacrifices now, imagine what it will be like later. Sounds like he thinks he is your boss rather than your BF. You compromised already with the snakes. If it were me, he would not be in my life longer than it took for him to say I could not keep my snakes. He needs to understand and respect that animals are YOUR life, it's a package deal :D
 
Thank you both for your input :) I really needed it. I was living down in Naples by myself. He is buying me a house so that we can start a family, but his dad (who has to live with us) is afraid of them. But I was leaning toward telling him to have a nice life...
 
I remember someone asking me at one point, if i wanted to have a successful and lasting relationship with a guy, and he wanted me to get rid of some or all my snakes, would i do that?

My answer was.................


HECK NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:D

I'm sorry, but if someone can't accept that i have snakes, and they're a part of my life, then i really do not need them to make me happy.
I honestly decided to try and connect with a guy that shares my love of snakes, even if it's long distance, and it's worked so far
 
I suspect you didn't start this thread so much for advice as for affirmation of a decision you already feel is correct. At least I hope that is the case.

You are considering entering into a very legal real estate association with someone you have no other legal attachment to. In order to do so you are being required to give up things that are apparently very important to you.

You must know that housing the snakes at mom's is in no way a long term solution, i.e from now on.
It comes down to a matter of you either have to love keeping your animals or love being with him, having both is evidently not an option.

To willingly shackle yourself to that situation, unless you are fully prepared to permanently give up the animals he has issue with, is a foolish decision.
The fact of the matter is someone who truly loves you, completely and without reservation, would never ask you to give up the things which are most important to you. Whether they had any interest or not they would respect them as something you are passionate about.
You may even be able to go along with it in the short term, but if this is the way in which a long term relationship is to begin you should not expect it to last.

And most of all don't go into it thinking that you will bring him around to the idea.
Having a passion for reptiles isn't like being a serious stamp collector or model plane builder. It's one of those things that must be accepted from the beginning with the understanding that it is not particularly negotiable. If a potential partner doesn't at least fully support the hobby, whether they have any personal interest or not, extreme friction is on the horizon.
 
Clay Davenport said:
I suspect you didn't start this thread so much for advice as for affirmation of a decision you already feel is correct. At least I hope that is the case.

You are considering entering into a very legal real estate association with someone you have no other legal attachment to. In order to do so you are being required to give up things that are apparently very important to you.

You must know that housing the snakes at mom's is in no way a long term solution, i.e from now on.
It comes down to a matter of you either have to love keeping your animals or love being with him, having both is evidently not an option.

To willingly shackle yourself to that situation, unless you are fully prepared to permanently give up the animals he has issue with, is a foolish decision.
The fact of the matter is someone who truly loves you, completely and without reservation, would never ask you to give up the things which are most important to you. Whether they had any interest or not they would respect them as something you are passionate about.
You may even be able to go along with it in the short term, but if this is the way in which a long term relationship is to begin you should not expect it to last.

And most of all don't go into it thinking that you will bring him around to the idea.
Having a passion for reptiles isn't like being a serious stamp collector or model plane builder. It's one of those things that must be accepted from the beginning with the understanding that it is not particularly negotiable. If a potential partner doesn't at least fully support the hobby, whether they have any personal interest or not, extreme friction is on the horizon.
Click to expand...

:iagree::iagree:

He worded what I was thinking quite well..
 
Clay, wonderful post! :iagree: 100%! Where were you when I needed to hear this 10 years ago? :D

wyldwurm said:
If he is asking you to make these type of sacrifices now, imagine what it will be like later.
Click to expand...

:iagree:

I've been there, done that!

One of my ex's knew I had reptiles and he had fish, so I thought "perfect! we're both animal nuts". He moves in with me after a while, then all of the sudden it's 'you shouldn't let your iguana free-roam anymore, he'll scratch my tanks' then it was months of 'you should really get rid of your iguana'.. so I did. Then all the sudden 'you really have too many snakes' then 'sell some of those snakes'... so, I did, I sold 14 of my 15 corns. Got a couple more boas a few years later, then it was 'you have too many boas'... oh my gosh! It never stopped, as the years went on he slowly became more and more controlling (don't wear that... you shouldn't see those friends .. etc).

This person making these demands on you already, without being forthright from the very start (example - now he's saying the dogs have to stay outside, watch out, before you know it, he'll be saying the dogs gotta go) - is not a good way to start things out, especially if he's wanting to buy you a house (gee, do you think that will get held over you head? it'll be 'his' house/his rules) and start a family already... I hate to say it, but I'd give this a lot more thought and seriously consider calling it quits.

I spent 6yrs with the guy I talked about above, what I wouldn't give to get that time back and have my critters back.

Good luck to you, whatever you decide to do!
 
wyldwurm said:
If he is asking you to make these type of sacrifices now, imagine what it will be like later. Sounds like he thinks he is your boss rather than your BF. You compromised already with the snakes. If it were me, he would not be in my life longer than it took for him to say I could not keep my snakes. He needs to understand and respect that animals are YOUR life, it's a package deal :D
Click to expand...

I totally agree!!!

"Hey Boyfriend-Don't let the screen door hit ya where the Good Lord split ya!!"
 
Clay Davenport said:
I suspect you didn't start this thread so much for advice as for affirmation of a decision you already feel is correct. At least I hope that is the case.

You are considering entering into a very legal real estate association with someone you have no other legal attachment to. In order to do so you are being required to give up things that are apparently very important to you.

You must know that housing the snakes at mom's is in no way a long term solution, i.e from now on.
It comes down to a matter of you either have to love keeping your animals or love being with him, having both is evidently not an option.

To willingly shackle yourself to that situation, unless you are fully prepared to permanently give up the animals he has issue with, is a foolish decision.
The fact of the matter is someone who truly loves you, completely and without reservation, would never ask you to give up the things which are most important to you. Whether they had any interest or not they would respect them as something you are passionate about.
You may even be able to go along with it in the short term, but if this is the way in which a long term relationship is to begin you should not expect it to last.

And most of all don't go into it thinking that you will bring him around to the idea.
Having a passion for reptiles isn't like being a serious stamp collector or model plane builder. It's one of those things that must be accepted from the beginning with the understanding that it is not particularly negotiable. If a potential partner doesn't at least fully support the hobby, whether they have any personal interest or not, extreme friction is on the horizon.
Click to expand...

YES!!!

And if he really loves you, he would want YOU to have things in your life that make YOU HAPPY!!

I'm sure you don't do EVERYTHING together. He must have a hobby/interest that you're not involved in.

One thing that keeps marriage do-able is the fact that you both have a "special place/thing" that you can go to and "decompress" when it all hits the fan.

You can't suddenly become attached solely to him. You have to be you, he had to be him, and you have to be able to come together as individuals-to be a couple.

I would ask him why he fell in love with you in the first place, if your love of animals is so abhorrent to him now.

Was he thinking he could change you??
 
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Speaking of personal experineve, as in what's happening right now to me, don't make this mistake of buying a house and locking yourself into someone for 30 years! Do you really want to spend that long living with someone who cannot accept you and your animal children?????

I'm living with a guy I've been dating in his apartment but oddly yes we sleep in separate bedrooms. We've been dating just over a year now but I've known him 6 + years. He knows I have had reptiles the whole time including snakes. My snakes had to go for me to move in here. And even at that so did some of my monitors. There is no fairness right now because he's started excessively babying his cat because my dog is here. I'd leave if I had somewhere else to go. So I tolerate this BS. He knows I'm not happy.

Do you really want to have that type of situation with this guy if not worse????

I'll bet not. You're not married nor tied to each other beyond the committed word of boyfriend /girfriendship. That's it. Let him go.
 
The biggest RED FLAG in the whole thing is him saying "HIS house"??? If he is asking you to share a home and make a life together it certainly is not just "HIS".. know what I mean? That sort of thing is the tip of the iceberg to a completely different set of problems that are almost sure to manifest in the future. Best of luck with whatever happens but I would suggest relying heavily on your gut instincts here.
 
Thanks for everyones advice...
Just wanted to give an update of whats going on. So, after I would not budge on the dogs, his dad decided that he could not live with me, because I am too pushy... So once the dad was out of the situation, all the animals are fine again :) What a suprise, at least now I know where all this crap is coming from. But as of this morning, he wants to live with us again, the dogs are okay in the house, but still no snakes. I told them that I am not sure if I want to give up my freedom to live with them.
So now, the ball is in the boyfriends court, if he wants to start a family and have kids (with me), something has to change. And there is no way that I am asking him to pick me over his dad.
 
annmikeal said:
I told them that I am not sure if I want to give up my freedom to live with them.
So now, the ball is in the boyfriends court, if he wants to start a family and have kids (with me), something has to change.
Click to expand...

And you shouldn't have to give up something so important to you to have this relationship. However NOW is the time to make that decision, before it gets more involved.
If you two were thinking of moving in with his Dad, then his Dad's opinion would carry much more weight. In this case though his Dad's stance is secondary to yours and your BFs because he would be living with you. The guest, or boarder, or whatever you want to label it as does not get to dictate the terms of the housing.

annmikeal said:
And there is no way that I am asking him to pick me over his dad.
Click to expand...

And there's no way you should consider asking him to do that. However, if he genuinely wants to commit to a lifelong relationship with you that's EXACTLY what he'll have to do. He'll have to do it entirely on his own though, not because you asked or told him to. That will be the evidence of his desire to make a lasting relationship with you.

There comes a time in most people's lives where they'll have to make a decision to be their own person and put their parents wishes secondary to the person they choose to spend their life with. That's not to say their parents become any less important, but that the desires and happiness of their parents take a backseat to the desires and happiness of their spouse.
If someone decides to allow their parents wishes to continue to dominate their lives, they are dooming any relationship they hope to have because their significant other will not have first priority in their life.

The bottom line is if Dad wants to live with you then he has to accept the conditions which you and your BF are happy with. If the BF decides to put the Dads desires above yours then you need to move on because it's an indication that your entire relationship will exist in Dad's shadow for as long as he's alive.
 
annmikeal said:
Thanks for everyones advice...
Just wanted to give an update of whats going on. So, after I would not budge on the dogs, his dad decided that he could not live with me, because I am too pushy... So once the dad was out of the situation, all the animals are fine again :) What a suprise, at least now I know where all this crap is coming from. But as of this morning, he wants to live with us again, the dogs are okay in the house, but still no snakes. I told them that I am not sure if I want to give up my freedom to live with them.
So now, the ball is in the boyfriends court, if he wants to start a family and have kids (with me), something has to change. And there is no way that I am asking him to pick me over his dad.
Click to expand...

The way I look at it, you're supposed to be making your life with your BOY-FRIEND...NOT his daddy!!

Is Daddy paying for the house??

How many bedrooms does it have? I'm assuming AT LEAST 3.

If you were to have more than one baby, would Daddy have a say in that, too??

Where would you put more than one baby, if they were different genders??

Would that displace Daddy??

What would happen if the two of you married?? Would you then gain a say in the rules of the house??

When my daughter married, her hubby had bought the house previously, put the house in his name, even though they were living together and working on the wedding plans, and when they divorced, he got the house.

Let me tell you about that.

They'd lived together for about 6 years before they got married, and basically, my daughter told him to chit or get off the pot, because she wanted a family. He said he did, too.

So they started planning a wedding, HE bought the house, and 5 years later, she divorced him. He had told her (in front of witnesses, no less) that he had never loved her, never wanted to marry her, never wanted to have "greedy, money-sucking scream-machines", and he only married her because he didn't want to be alone, and he bought her two dogs, figuring they'd keep her busy and keep her mind off babies.

After the divorce, she met up with a guy she's know about 20 years, they're living together, she's pregnant, and both of them are ECSTATIC about it!!

I'm just saying that some things...no matter how good they look on the face...aren't meant to be...but when one door closes, you usually find an open window looking out on something wonderful that you never expected to find.

And sometimes, that wonderful thing was there all along, just waiting for you to notice it.
 
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