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    Google Adsense ad revenue for December, 2025 was just $30 over the cost of the lease for the server running this site. So, in effect, the money providing the incentive for me to continue running this site is coming SOLELY from the paid memberships and sponsorships here. Which honestly ain't much....

My father died today........

Thanks everyone....

Apparently my dad died of heart failure. My mom told me the technical term they used, but I don't remember.

A few weekends ago Connie and I went down to visit with my mom for the day. Honestly, the topic of my dad didn't really come up much. Guess too much water under the bridge since their divorce. And definitely a lot of water under the bridge since I had given up thinking my dad would make any sort of effort to contact me.

It was a melancholy day when I heard he died, and surprisingly enough I shed some tears I never would have expected I had for the man. But he died alone, after living alone, and that was the choice he made in how things would be for him. I never wished ill of him, but I wish he could have been a father to me like I would have liked him to be. I guess I wanted a friend for a father, and it just wasn't in him to be like that.

Oh well... End of story....
 
Rich, I know this is an old post, but I just stumbled across it, and it struck a nerve.

I am sorry about your Dad. I have a pretty darn good idea how you feel.

My Dad was a successful figure in our little town. Sometimes, he was the nicest guy in the world, but often times, behind closed doors, he would be incredibly abusive (mentally and physically). He would go off on very cruel tangents, for the littlest thing. You never knew what was going to set him off. Everybody in town knew about it, but in those days, people just looked the other way.

One time, he went out partridge hunting, with our well trained English setter (trained her myself), and came back without the dog. He said he had accidentally shot her, trying to shoot a grouse. We all knew damn well what happened. He lost his temper, and shot the dog in one of his fits. That's the kind of guy he was. I left home when I was 18, and didn't look back.

Shortly after that, he retired early, and moved to AZ. Did not hear from him for the next 14 years.

Then, I found, he was coming back to MI to spend Summers here. I decided to pay him a visit, with my kids, and guess what I found? The same drunk, abusive jerk I knew before. I came to the conclusion that it was simply unhealthy for me, and especially my kids, to be around him.

Coincidentally, he died almost the exact same time your Dad did. I got the call, and it made me sad, angry, and a lot of things that I just don't know what to make of.

Like you, I really haven't found closure on this one. The little kid in me still loves his Dad. The grownup in me knows what a terrible, destructive influence he was. It's a tough one.

I always swore, when I had kids, I would not pass that cruel legacy on to them. I have been completely successful with that, and have 2 wonderful kids that I am very proud of. When I think about that, it makes me feel better.

I guess some thing just are what they are...

Hope you find peace.
 
I am sorry for your loss. I wasn't close to my father either but when he died when I was 13 I was devestated.

Jerry
 
Thanks guys. Actually it's strange, but I have just about completely forgotten about this event. My dad had chosen to abandon his family, so his death was just a blip on the radar screen of day to day activities for me. Probably pretty much like getting a paper cut or something, which hurts like hell for a while, but eventually does heal, and then gets forgotten. Maybe there is a scar, but I don't feel it.

There was no service for him. At least I was not informed of one. My dad must have had some money in an account, because my mom was still his personal representative and she told me she was just going to divide the money up among the kids. I told her I did not want anything from that man, but she sent me a check anyway. It is still sitting out in the kitchen uncashed. Next time I visit with my mom, I will hand the check back to her.
 
Just a thought Rich, could you sign it and drop it into a donation box for a favorite charity of yours? If you have a church that you attend, perhaps donate it to them? Your mom probably doesn't want the money either, and I think it would be quite fitting for his last remaining influence (money) to be used for good purposes.

Sorry for your loss... and glad you are strong enough to work through and past it.
 
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