On construction and destruction

[Lucille]

Recent events and observations have led me to ponder on how people tend to fall into different groups depending on how they view life.

There are the builders who have a positive outlook; who, when challenges arise, look within to see what they can do, and how they can help.
Their time is spent creating positive change; building dreams, constructing new and different realities. Many parents are builders, as are teachers. But it transcends job descriptions, building, helping, and creating are states of mind.

Then, there are the destroyers. Whenever an idea is advanced, they put it down. Whenever someone tries to build or create something beautiful, they tear it down. I knew someone who would never have an idea on how to get something accomplished, or solve a problem or challenge. Instead, he would wait until someone proposed a solution or had an idea, and take great pleasure in criticizing and pointing out how it could not possibly work.

I don't know which of the two choices is more difficult. It seems to me, in looking around, that builders by and large seem to be happier people; and destroyers are often miserable.

Lives are changed by choices made. Which group do you belong to?

 

[DAND]

Directions...

I can actually fall under both. More so the construction side though. I enjoy the challenge finding a way to get from point "A" to point "B" smoothly. It may not always be the fastest route but I'll get there.

The destruction part comes with being able to see where there could be detours or dead ends in others directions. Maybe destruction wouldn't be 100% the case, I would more likely suggest a change of route then trash their idea. If the persist on going down the wrong road I'd probably give them the ol', "I told you so", but then try to give them directions back to the main road.

 

[dragonflyreptiles]

I guess I am

"I do not use a studied approach to life, I just react as each situation arises "

I try to take eveyting on its own value, if its worth building - do it, if its worth fixing - fix it at all cost, if its unable to be saved - tear it down but put something better in its place or do without.

 

[Karen Hulvey]

I'm w/you Dragonfly. I really don't use a studied approach to life, just react as each situation arises.

I have a friend who is a destroyer. No matter what idea you throw out she can tear it down. It's really mindboggling at how hard she'll work to make sure you see that you can't suceed. I've proven her wrong so many times you'd think she'd get a clue but I guess she'll never change.

Lucille:
Where in the world do you come up with the ideas for these polls? I've tried and tried to think up something worthwhile to make a poll about but I can't come up to anything near as good as yours, so I don't post any.

 

[Wilomn]

Lucille:
Where in the world do you come up with the ideas for these polls? I've tried and tried to think up something worthwhile to make a poll about but I can't come up to anything near as good as yours, so I don't post any.

It is rather a mystery isn't it? I've wondered myself, a time or two, just what the impetus for some of her polls has been.

 

[Lucille]

Thank y'all; this particular poll was written as I reflected on the responses I saw as Webslave built the new membership program.
I saw countless hours of effort put in towards this goal, and as he was explaining his steps and reasoning to the members, there were radically different responses by them to this new information.
It was more than just agreement or disagreement about the technical aspects, there were profound differences to the way people approached this change: some tried to pitch in and help alongside the best they could by pledging support; but some tried to destroy what was being built without offering alternatives, or giving reasons as to why they would destroy the dreams and goals of someone who is one of the hardest working people I know.
After pondering these ideas for a while, I observed that this sort of difference in response has nothing to do with this site and what people think of it, it reflects the basic way some of us approach life: some are builders, and some are destroyers.
Thus, the poll.

Whether or not people can switch their approach from one class to another is the subject of current pondering, I have asked that in another thread 'Can people change'. I do not know the answer to this question. I do see people change from time to time; whether they had it in them, or whether the motivation was exterior, is a huge philosophical exploration.

And finally, whether by reason I could in some cases effectuate that change; that is one of the current goals in my life, to be able to transform the negative into the positive, by my words.

 

[WebSlave]

I think there is a very easy test for this type of personality.

Whenever you buy a new car, take it to all of your friends to show it to them. The "destroyers" will spend ALL DAY if necessary to find that one flaw in the paint job or ding in the chrome just to point it out to you.

 

[BallPyFan]

This subject is a rather complex one, and I've taken a few days to ponder it and see what others are saying also.

In a nutshell, I have done both, even just in the year in Iraq. We went in, blew things up, then spent months afterwards rebuilding. Strange, paradoxical, and to many of us contradictory. I still have mixed feelings on it.

I think a lot of people's attitude is directly tied to how much effort it takes to do one or the other in relation to the perceived rewards. For most people it is easier to tear down than to build. For others, the reward of creating is well worth the effort it takes to build. It also seems to be closely tied to a person's self-esteem.

I am actually a good example of these principles. I was a destroyer when I was younger. I was very unhappy and insecure and honestly didn't think I would live as long as I have already. When my son was born I began to see a reason for building for the future. As I have gotten older and experienced more in life, I've done both. Sometimes I do both with the same action. Sometimes I backslide into destructive tendencies, and those are the times when I am not seeing the big picture, the light at the end of the tunnel, or even the light of day. With myself I can say for certain it is tied to how I feel about ME that colors how I react to the world around me. I create and build when I deem it worth the effort, I leave some things alone and let Nature/Fate/the gods take care of them, and finally some things must be destroyed to prevent others from having to deal with them. There is some kind of equation involving effort, reward, consequence, and the "big picture" but I can't quite verbalize it right yet. Like obscenity, I recognize it when I see but can't quite define it. But, everything must be in balance. If you destroy something, build something in its place. To build, something must be sacrificed or destroyed. At least, this is how I see Life and the World at this stage in my life.