I once knew this guy that I can only describe as an annoying pain in the ass. Back when I was in med school a bunch of us used to hang out after exams, etc. in this bar that wasn't too far from campus. There was this really annoying guy that used to hang out there also. Part of the reason he was so annoying was because he would talk your ear off all the time, but he never had anything to say...he just wanted people to pay attention to him. One of the ways that he used to get attention was by giving people (especially women) gifts all of the time...usually in the form of some sort of candy. He was always going back and forth from his car bringing in bags of candy to give to people who would "listen" to him (not always of their own free will...he was just almost impossible to get rid of). Anyway, somewhere along the line someone nicknamed this guy "The Candyman." Every time someone would see him coming they'd announce "Oh (
insert expletive here)! Here comes The Candyman!" And everyone would proceed to "duck and cover" like people were taught to do during the civil defense era of the 60's. All you could do was hope that he latched onto someone else, and that you'd be one of the lucky ones to escape the swath of social disaster. We always felt sorry for the victims...but not sorry enough that we were willing to try to go back and try to save them. The best the victims could hope for was some candy...
It was sad really...the poor guy had no friends...and he didn't even know it. At first I was pretty nice to the guy because I felt so sorry for him...I mean come on, it's got to be tough to be such a social misfit. At one point I even went so far as to try to explain to him that perhaps people would respond better to him if he backed off a little and didn't try to force himself into the center of attention. I explained that there was a difference between positive attention, and negative attention...but I don't think that he really understood what I was talking about. He just kept telling me what a good guy he was because he always gave people candy...after all, people
like candy...
don't they?
I tried to further explain to him that some thought that by giving people candy all of the time that he might be trying to
buy "friends," and how much better it was to give people the opportunity to like him based upon his personal merits. I even tried to
gently explain to him that it
might be possible that some people found the whole "candy thing" a little creepy...but he didn't hear me. I think that he was probably too busy thinking about what he was going to say next to listen to my attempt at helpful advice. It didn't take me long to learn that
sometimes showing mercy to others really wasn't in my best interest...no amount of candy could make up for having to listen to this guy for more than 5 minutes...besides, I don't even like candy!
Anyway...for some reason I recently thought of this guy, and I thought that some of my fellow Fauna members might empathize with my painful memories...so I thought I'd share my little story. Thanks for allowing me to unburden myself.
