SUPERMAN

[Neil Gubitz]

It's Saturday night.... Superman is really horney and lonely.... he decides to go over to Spiderman's place to see if he wants to go out?.... He says, "Come on Spidey! It's Saturday night! Let's go out and have some fun, get some brewskies and see some women!".... Spidey says, "I'd love to Superman, but, my alter-ego, Peter Parker, has a test on Monday and I have to study for it, I just can't make it.... Superman is pissed, and REALLY horny.... he decides to try Batman's house.... but, Batman says, "Sorry, Superman, but, Gotham City's kind of crime-ridden and I have to protect my people.... I just can't make it.... needless to say, Superman is bummed.... he's just flying around with nothing to do, until he looks down on the ground, and sees Wonderwoman stark naked, spread eagle, and ready for action! So, Superman says, "Alright, here's my chance!".... so, at super-speed, he flies down and BAM BAM BAM and takes off.... all of a sudden Wonderwoman opens her eyes, and says, "What the F*** was that?".... and the Invisible Man says, "I don't know, but my ASS sure hurts!"

An oldie but a goodie!

Did you hear about the Black dude that walked into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder?? The bartender says, "Where'd you get that?".... and the PARROT says, "Africa, there's MILLIONS of 'em!"

....Neil

 

[Uffern]

A guy walks into a rooftop bar and orders a drink. The man sitting next to him says, "You know, if you jump out that window over there, just before you hit the ground, an updraft catches you and brings you back up and into that window over there." motioning to a window on the other side of the bar.

"Yeah right," says the first guy.

"No, really. I'll show you," says the second guy. He walks over to the window and jumps out. The first guy rushes over and looks out. He sees the second guy falling toward the ground. Just before he reaches the bottom, he stops falling and is swept back up to the window on the other side of the bar. He is set down just inside the window.

"Holy ****!" says the first man.

"Go ahead and try it," says the second guy.

"I don't think so," says the first.

"I'll do it gain, watch." Again, the second guy jumps out the window, falls almost to the ground, and is swept back up and into the window on the other side of the bar again.

"What the hell," says the first guy. He jumps out the window and falls to his death.

The second buy walks back over to the bar chuckling. The batender says, "You know, you're a real asshole when you're drunk, Superman."