I know this post is about a month old now, but as a newer member of this site who is trying to establish my reputation, I felt the need to reply. Although you all, as long-time members, have great things to say, I think a fresh perspective may be appropriate here. Plus I am a loud mouth, and have to say something somewhere besides the BOI lol.
A small bit of history on why I joined Fauna. I had been a member of another forum for almost 4 years, one who, like most of you, was considered a "core member" in several areas. I spent a lot of time an energy there, trying my best to help out people with issues, and even forming a relationship with many like you all have here. Recently, the webmaster and I had a disagreement over his deleting a post of mine (I simply stated my opinion on the use of sand with certain reptiles), and when I stated publicly that I would be taking a break without saying what happened or with whom I was disagreeing, he banned me from the site completely. No warning, no anything. The word got out on the site, and several members were irate, and decided to leave, or stated enough of their feelings where they too were banned. He even banned my IP address from being able to view his forum from my home computers at all. So one of the members contacted Rich, told him the story, and we were told to head on over, and here we are. You will find a bunch of us in the bearded dragon and gecko discussion forums now, and maybe a few running around some of the snake forums too. Stop in and say hi, there are some very knowledgeable resources joining up now
Now, I had some history with Fauna, as I had an issue a little over 2 years ago with Ray's Reptilia sending me a badly damaged tortoise (who is doing great now), and it was suggested that I post my experience on the BOI, which, at that time, I had never heard of. I had a great experience, the people were helpful, and I learned a lot about purchasing from someone I had never known without researching first. Most of my deals had always been local or with people I knew, and although some on the BOI were a little tough on me about my ignorance of my purchase, it was a good experience. Since then, I have been an avid reader of the BOI and other discussion forums here, but not a poster.
I have recently been participating in a BOI post about Dan Scalaro, and have to say, some of the things going on over there are insane! I know it is not just that post, as I read the other posts like I watch a car accident - I don't want to look, but have no other choice. I think the entire situation with the BOI and the out of control posts boil down to one thing - people need to learn to be adults. I have 5 kids, ages 14 down to 4 months, and I tell them all the time that they need to act their age. That is the same problem here (and on all forums really) - adults do not know how to be adults, and have to resort to the same things my children do to antagonize each other - name calling, insults and general stupid comments. The thing is, there is no way to control it over all. We can only control ourselves. If we want respect, we have to give respect. I do not know how it used to be here, but from what I am reading, respect used to be given. It seems that has changed. Sure, some of the things that some people say are great entertainment value (god how I love Chuck sometimes!), but take it as that - entertainment. Don't get goaded into dragging it on. Be adults. Plain and simple.
So I ask, why bitch about it changing to the way it is now instead of being proactive and changing it back? It is pretty simple, maybe easier said than done sometimes, but all you have to do is ignore the bullsh*t going on, keep the thread on track, respond with a respectable tone, and don't fall for the crap going on. Believe me, I know it is not always easy, but just pause and think before hitting that submit button. There is a reason for the preview button, too. Use it, read what you have said, and think about how it may come across to other people. Spell check and dictionary.com are always a nice thing too. The little red lines under words you post sometimes give a clue too. I'm a spelling nazi though, so...
For the business people out there responding to threads, remember that not only are people basing their opinions of you by your "good guy" or "bad guy" threads, but by the way you respond to other posts out there. There are a few people that I would not hesitate to do business with simply because they way they have responded to others on the BOI, and some that have great "good guy" reputations that have made me think twice about them just because of the way they handle themselves on a public forum. Your reputation goes beyond your animals and customer service. People judge you from all aspects, so if you want to seem respectable, BE respectable. The golden rule works in business, too, and people will judge you based on how you react online.
Now, am I always going to remain level-headed and keep myself looking like an adult? Probably not, as I am known to have my say when I want, and can be rather blunt and sarcastic. But I will at least try to remember the one thing that so many have forgotten - the internet does not go away. The posts do not go away. How I present myself online needs to reflect how I want people to see me in life, both personally and in business. So sometimes I have to tell myself to shut up, hold back, and breathe. That is what a lot of people need to do before submitting a reply. And if you come across those people that cannot do that, ignore them. As I tell my kids, people say mean things to get a rise out of you, and if you respond to them, they win, no matter what. Ignoring someone causing trouble will either piss them off more, or just make them go away. It works, believe me.
I think before turning on Rich about the changes he has had to make on the site, we all need to think about the great thing he has done here. He has created a place where people from all over the world who all love the same thing can come and gather, speak their minds, and share knowledge, experiences, hopes, dreams, pitfalls, and everything in between. We are very lucky here not to be over run by children who bring the value of the site down, believe me. That was a huge issue on the other forum I was a member of. BUT, on that note, we need to remember that we all have a love of this industry/hobby, even the kids, so they need respect too. We can only teach children and young people to have respect if we are giving it. I do not see this sort of thing so much in the discussion forums being an issue, but the kids can read the BOI too, and when they see adults acting like a bunch of insane monkeys, they think it is ok to do themselves. We don't want to be raising a generation of kids turning out to be like some of the idiots on the BOI, do we? Our reactions and actions go far beyond the adults we interact with, and I think some people need to be reminded of this sometimes. Call it the mom in me kicking in I guess.
Another thing Rich does not do, at least not from what I've seen, is censor us too much. Sure, there are rules in place for making sure things are not inappropriate, and there should be such rules. But our opinions are not censored, our thoughts are not censored, and just because we may not agree with each other, we are not censored. I was banned from a forum for simply stating my opinion. Several others were banned for the same thing. Be lucky that is not happening here. Be THANKFUL that we have what we have here, and give Rich a break. Being a webmaster of something so huge is not an easy job, I know I would not want it for sure! Instead of busting his balls, how about starting by trying to better things from within the community, and then going from there? See my whole respect rant above for a good first step
So, this is my rant. I hope it puts some perspective on how a newer member may view things, and maybe give some simple yet effective solutions to what is going on that we, as members, can control.
I look forward to getting to know you all, and to becoming a member of the core of this group hopefully.
Kelly
