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Bad Guy Tony121204/Anthony Pappas is a scammer

KEllis1209 said:
I understand your opinion, but until you've lived certain situations, you don't know what you'd do or wouldn't do. I do not ever want my son around illegal BS nor do I want him to think its okay to do anything like this. I have stated several times that I do not condone the scamming, stealing, etc. and there is one opportunity and one opportunity only to be given to prove that he has changed. When a person decides they want to marry someone and raise a family together and spend their lives together, to me that consists of, sticking together through thick and thin, good or bad. As well as, not giving up on your spouse. If they have a problem, it wouldn't be the wrong thing to do to try to help them get better and support them through their issues. That doesn't mean support their mistakes, it means support the recovery process. It is possible it could be too late, but to just decide that they don't deserve a chance to do right, isn't fair.
I trusted him when I allowed him to use my name. I didn't expect it to be for scams. Maybe, everyone doesn't understand where I am coming from. But, I could not just read this thread and not do anything about it. It has nothing to do with clearing my name so it can be used for future scams. My intentions are no where near anything like that. And not once, did I justify or state that it was okay to do what he did. I don't know why you were under that impression that I thought it was okay. I explained the situation, I think pretty clear enough for everyone to understand. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions and I am not disagreeing with anyone's opinions. I am simply just saying what I personally believe and I am entitled to that just as much as everyone else is entitled to believe what they're stating.
Maybe, everyone is right and I am wrong or maybe not. One day, the truth will come out on its own and it is what it is at the end of the day. But, at least I can say I had tried and that's all that counts to me. It'd be worth the time and effort I would have wasted, but I believe not trying to help someone in need would be wrong.

Also, I don't expect everyone to just instantly believe everything I'm saying. I understand there is going to be hesitation. At the end of the day, I know the truth and I am keeping up with my word the best I can to contact the necessary people.
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While I think your intentions may be good, I have actually lived through this. You will change your mind when your boyfriend starts stealing under your and your child's name. When he feels the need to buy stuff for himself instead of paying bills or buying food. I do hope he changes, but I hope you are very prepared for the chance that he won't. I haven't been with my ex in over 19 years. 3 more kids with 2 other women, some time in jail for stealing, and he still hasn't changed much. He will always put himself first. The best thing I ever did for my daughter was leave. I hope it doesn't come to that for you, but you need to be prepared that people this far gone usually don't change for long. I also hope that you can get him to come here and apologize when he gets out and have him start paying back any money he owes.
 
KEllis1209 said:
Thank you for lifting the ban. I appreciate it. First off, I found out about this thread from my mother. She googled my finance, Anthony DiStaulo.
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Perhaps your mother was looking for this information about Anthony Distaulo, or his other aliases Anthony Bartucci and Anthony Distalvo?

Honestly I wouldn't worry about giving him any second chances, the state of NJ has given him many more than that since 2007 and he hasn't stopped ripping people off.

And once NJ cuts him loose it looks like PA will have yet another crack at incarcerating him.
http://www.westgoshen.org/WGPD Press Release 2015-11899 posted 070820160953.pdf
 

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Wow. This has been just incredible to watch. Over the course of years and so many twists and turns. This scam was not a good one, but man it sure was tangled up!
 
KEllis1209 said:
I understand your opinion, but until you've lived certain situations, you don't know what you'd do or wouldn't do. I do not ever want my son around illegal BS nor do I want him to think its okay to do anything like this. I have stated several times that I do not condone the scamming, stealing, etc. and there is one opportunity and one opportunity only to be given to prove that he has changed.
Click to expand...

Well good luck with that, obviously you don't know when to quit...


KEllis1209 said:
When a person decides they want to marry someone and raise a family together and spend their lives together, to me that consists of, sticking together through thick and thin, good or bad. As well as, not giving up on your spouse. If they have a problem, it wouldn't be the wrong thing to do to try to help them get better and support them through their issues. That doesn't mean support their mistakes, it means support the recovery process. It is possible it could be too late, but to just decide that they don't deserve a chance to do right, isn't fair.
Click to expand...

You are playing a great victim. If you choose to put yourself in a situation where you have been used and dragged through the mud, that's perfectly fine. But when you choose to put your child in that same situation, that's BS. You know full well that he isn't going to change, as he hasn't changed in all the years you've known him, and you allowed him to use your name in situations where you KNEW he shouldn't have been partaking in things. So quit playing the victim.

KEllis1209 said:
Also, I don't expect everyone to just instantly believe everything I'm saying. I understand there is going to be hesitation. At the end of the day, I know the truth and I am keeping up with my word the best I can to contact the necessary people.
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Good, you keep up with trying to take care of the people that your other half scammed while using you with your permission. I'm not going to be one to give you kudos for fixing something that you knew was happening. (Don't play the, "I didn't know what he was going to use my name for, but I just let him use it." card either. It's all crap.)

LauraB said:
Yep, you are correct, Kate. All the blah, blah, blah about your precious son, second chances and ignorance to your partner's activities is almost laughable, especially given your own drug possession (freaking heroine/coke!) and conspiracy charges back in January of this year ... sheesh. Half the family is now in jail. All of you are such good role models for your precious son, yeah :rolleyes:

Good of you to own up and try to make amends with those robbed, but please stop with playing the victim card. You want to be a good parent to your son, then freaking do it and leave the shite behind ... and by shite, I mean the shite that are now incarcerated. And stop making excuses for that bunch of dishonorable, disrespectful and dishonest people.

And yeah ... I know all about "certain situations". I need no education. It's about common sense and choices.

You've not helped your or your conspirators case here since this thread was started. I guess you now realize that in real life and in virtual life, the bad guys are always outed and nabbed in the end :) Common sense and choices.
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:exactly::iagree:
 
Mistyck said:
Well good luck with that, obviously you don't know when to quit...




You are playing a great victim. If you choose to put yourself in a situation where you have been used and dragged through the mud, that's perfectly fine. But when you choose to put your child in that same situation, that's BS. You know full well that he isn't going to change, as he hasn't changed in all the years you've known him, and you allowed him to use your name in situations where you KNEW he shouldn't have been partaking in things. So quit playing the victim.



Good, you keep up with trying to take care of the people that your other half scammed while using you with your permission. I'm not going to be one to give you kudos for fixing something that you knew was happening. (Don't play the, "I didn't know what he was going to use my name for, but I just let him use it." card either. It's all crap.)



:exactly::iagree:
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I am not at all trying to make myself seem like a victim. I have admitted feeling responsible because I was naive and should have done things differently. Also, I stated I've made mistakes as well and I'm sure it's obvious you can't always believe what you read online nor judge a book by its cover. Not one person knows me on here and I don't find it necessary to explain myself or my decisions more than I already have. I am not stupid at all and I am well prepared for there being a chance things aren't going to work out the way I plan. And if so, it is what it is and at least I can say I tried.
There is so much more to it than just the information found on Google and maybe some will believe that or some will just take it for what it is. The point of my presence here is to try to make right with the intended people. I respect everyone's opinion and everyone is entitled to that. As well as I am entitled to mine and my beliefs.
 
nickolasanastasiou said:
Kate, while I do believe some of your aims come with a difficult road that may not ultimately be probable for reasons of patterns of human behavior (I am not sure the perpetrating party here will ever pass the "marshmallow test"), I find your advances to make restitution with the negatively impacted persons to be respectable and the way you have been maintaining your responses here have been cool-headed despite the encounters of resistance. I recognize this and appreciate it for what it is worth, as it would have been all too easy to default in the other direction.
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Mistyck said:
Good, you keep up with trying to take care of the people that your other half scammed while using you with your permission. I'm not going to be one to give you kudos for fixing something that you knew was happening. (Don't play the, "I didn't know what he was going to use my name for, but I just let him use it." card either. It's all crap.)



:exactly::iagree:
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Also, why would I even bother coming on here and going through all of this if I knew what was going on? Doesn't really make much sense to me. I would hope to think people would have better things to do with their lives than come on a two year old thread and start spewing a bunch of lies and non sense. For what reason ? I'm sure the original people that have posted all have moved on with their lives. It's completely fine with me if you don't believe me , I don't mind if people think I'm lying or playing victim or anything else. Like I said already, I know the truth.
 
I accidentally quoted the first response. I don't know how I did that. I'm still trying to figure things out on this website. My response is intended for the second quote.
 
KEllis1209 said:
Also, why would I even bother coming on here and going through all of this if I knew what was going on? Doesn't really make much sense to me. I would hope to think people would have better things to do with their lives than come on a two year old thread and start spewing a bunch of lies and non sense. For what reason ? I'm sure the original people that have posted all have moved on with their lives. It's completely fine with me if you don't believe me , I don't mind if people think I'm lying or playing victim or anything else. Like I said already, I know the truth.
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You're an enabler and he will scam again. You know the truth? The truth is, you probably wouldn't stay with Anthony if he went straight. Not having to deflect attention or cover up or lie for him or coddle him would be very unsatisfying for you. You need your damaged scammer more than you need a future for your son. That's the truth.

I put part of the quote in bold because it seems to me that you're not actually that concerned with the consequences. You start off with the intent of "I didn't know and I want to make things right", and then slip back into defending Anthony. Now you're at "this thread is old and pointless duh." I don't believe that you're sorry. I think that you came here to make yourself, and by extension Anthony, look better. And since that backfired, it's just an old thread where people are spreading lies, huh?
 
lilgreenbee said:
You're an enabler and he will scam again.
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:iagree: Hence the "victim mentality."

lilgreenbee said:
I put part of the quote in bold because it seems to me that you're not actually that concerned with the consequences. You start off with the intent of "I didn't know and I want to make things right", and then slip back into defending Anthony. Now you're at "this thread is old and pointless duh." I don't believe that you're sorry. I think that you came here to make yourself, and by extension Anthony, look better. And since that backfired, it's just an old thread where people are spreading lies, huh?
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Again; :iagree: She doesn't quite get the concept of "put up or shut up," because the more she types, the more she shows her true self. She can't have it both ways, yet she seems to think she can. :rolleyes:
 
Hey Kate, I understand that you didn't mean for it to get messy like this. And it's really cool of you to come here and make sure things were made right. And while some of the other users' criticisms are harsh, they're right.

I have a member of my family who has a mental illness. It causes depression and that leads to extreme laziness. For years, her mother coddled her, because what else are you supposed to do? She helped her get through high school by doing her homework, didnt assign her chores for fear that she would retaliate, and in the end it was her last straw and she forced her to go to therapy. While therapy can be amazing, the girl didnt want it and didn't choose it herself. It all fell apart, and the therapist stated that the best thing would be for the enabling to stop.

Your husband is a repeat criminal. I come from a hacking and cyber sec background. I know many people who have done bad things but are still good people. But I still wouldn't trust them. Crime is an addiction. When a hacker sees a weak target, it can be extremely hard to resist. The same goes for scammers. At the end of the day, he is addicted to money and status. If he doesn't go for some serious help (counseling is actually highly suggested for post-prison criminals) and really put you first, he's going to break your heart.

I urge you to really analyze your behaviors as well as his. It isn't your fault, and enabling is a natural instinct. But theres second chances, and then there's "70x7". Don't let your kid be the victim of big numbers later in life.

Also don't let him have animals. Obviously he isn't mature enough to handle living creatures that depend on his care and sacrifice
 
Dracorex5 said:
Hey Kate, I understand that you didn't mean for it to get messy like this. And it's really cool of you to come here and make sure things were made right. And while some of the other users' criticisms are harsh, they're right.

I have a member of my family who has a mental illness. It causes depression and that leads to extreme laziness. For years, her mother coddled her, because what else are you supposed to do? She helped her get through high school by doing her homework, didnt assign her chores for fear that she would retaliate, and in the end it was her last straw and she forced her to go to therapy. While therapy can be amazing, the girl didnt want it and didn't choose it herself. It all fell apart, and the therapist stated that the best thing would be for the enabling to stop.

Your husband is a repeat criminal. I come from a hacking and cyber sec background. I know many people who have done bad things but are still good people. But I still wouldn't trust them. Crime is an addiction. When a hacker sees a weak target, it can be extremely hard to resist. The same goes for scammers. At the end of the day, he is addicted to money and status. If he doesn't go for some serious help (counseling is actually highly suggested for post-prison criminals) and really put you first, he's going to break your heart.

I urge you to really analyze your behaviors as well as his. It isn't your fault, and enabling is a natural instinct. But theres second chances, and then there's "70x7". Don't let your kid be the victim of big numbers later in life.

Also don't let him have animals. Obviously he isn't mature enough to handle living creatures that depend on his care and sacrifice
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:iagree: I think you explained it better than I could.
 
It the name of my boat... I'm also the owner of a New Jersey construction company who employeed in 2011-2013 some members of the family spoken of in this thread.
 
Ifionlyknew said:
It the name of my boat... I'm also the owner of a New Jersey construction company who employeed in 2011-2013 some members of the family spoken of in this thread.
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I know where she is. Before I answer that though, besides your construction company, what other association do you and Peter have with them? Why do you want to know where she is?
 
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