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What happened to the HAYDEN Banner???

Clearwater_Reptiles said:
OMFG See what all this crap caused :hot: I hope Each and everyone of you are PROUD OF YOURSELFS...... :hot:
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I want to apologize for this .Teresa I really don't know why everybodies nerves are so raw, but Mine are because I know first hand what Kelli's feeling and to read the constint bickering over trivial crap just set me off and I do apologize for my out burst
 
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A suggestion

Kelli
I can't begin to imagine the incredible pain of losing a child. What I can imagine, is how much harder it must be for you with all this "drama" surrounding it for you here.

I'm suggesting that we all think of Kelli and just back off on all of this.
It would seem to me that the easiest way to start the healing process for Kelli, would be to return to some sort of normalcy here.

With that said, I would encourage everyone to stop playing sleuth about the "behind the scenes" situations and try and offer Kelli something that might bring a smile to her face.

How about we post some pictures of those smiling Leopard Geckos. As I said earlier, I'm not a Gecko person, but I can't help but smile when I see one of those faces.

Since I obviously can't post a picture of one of these guys, I'll do my best with this.

Kelli - we all think the world of you here and I genuinely hope that your friends here can help to ease the pain - even if it's just a little.

Here's some of the guys that always make me smile:

yum.jpg
 
Kelli,
Not a single person here thinks less of you, nor has your input made anything worse. At the end of the day, nothing that's said or done on an internet forum really matters in comparison to what's happening in the "real" world.

Rather, each and every person that's been involved in the petty bickering, myself included, owes you a heartfelt apology. Seeing everyone at each others' throats is one of the last things that you needed to deal with. In a time when everyone should have been coming together, misinterpretations and personal prejudices were taken to the extreme.

Having seen firsthand what transpired behind the scenes, I'd like to implore you to reconsider your decision to leave, and here's why... One of the many pitfalls of written communication is that tone and meaning are easily misinterpreted. In the case of the message traffic between Chris and Rich, that appears to be what happened on both ends. The problem was further compounded on both ends by third parties who chose to involve themselves in the misunderstanding and fan the flames.

As to what you said in the other thread regarding posting about what has transpired, I can assure you that it won't get you banned. When the time comes, if you still feel the way you do, by all means feel free to address it.

As you may know, I have a tremendous amount of respect for both you and Steve. It would be a boldfaced lie for myself or most of the people here to say we understand what you're going through. The best that any of us can hope to do is offer you an ear to talk to and a shoulder to cry on.
 
Kelli, all I can offer is a sincere heartfelt apology for all that transpired here. Everyone is on emotional overdrive and I think that no one can really say anything that is getting through to anyone's brain without being mangled beyond recognition. My correspondence with Chris has been interpreted in the worst possible context by nearly all involved, so all I can say is that perhaps it WAS my fault all along, and my perceptions were out the window along with everyone else's. I thought my thoughts were straight, but perhaps not. How can one know if they are thinking more clearly today then they were yesterday when the wounds are still raw?

I can't change the past, but if I could, I would. What is done, is done. I wish you would reconsider your decision to leave, but I respect your choice, no matter what, and only wish you well in the future.

As such, I am lifting the ban on Chris immediately. His state of mind can be no better then anyone else's at this time, and I just do not feel clean by shutting him out from simply suffering from the same malady we all are.

Personally, I am done with this topic. Everyone else with an interest can continue on the discussion if you wish to keep picking at the wound, but I am done with it. Any lack of response on my part if not agreeing nor disagreeing with any points brought up. It simply means I am DONE really and truly with this whole damned mess.

Oh, one more parting comment, if you don't mind, and I SINCERELY hope this is not misinterpreted in any way. No, I did not know Hayden's last name was not Hammack. But even if I did, I would still have named this forum the Hammack Fund, because of whom I truly believe the help should be offered for. Steve and Kelli needed the help, and I feel that I let them down. For that I am supremely sorry.

Over and out............
 
I'm going to take a break. I need a few days. I need a lot of things, and reading stuff here is not helping so I will just take a break. I am very confused. Thanks for understanding.
 
All the other stuff aside I just want o say I am sorry for my previous post. I was just very upset and the more I read the more upset I got. This is a "community" to me. Not just a website. I have made some awesome friends on here. It just pains me to see so many people bickering amongst themselves. When all in all the topic that started it all was so PURE.

Robin,

Thank you for letting me cry on your shoulder this afternoon. I really needed it.

Kelli,

I enjoyed talking to you last night and you have no idea how you and your son have both touched my life. I, after doing some heavy refection and soul searching can honestly say I will be a better person inside because of him. Your description of his personality and what a pure soul he was really hit me hard. It showed me, as it should have showed us all, how we at times may be overlooking the smaller things in life.


I think I may be taking a vacation from fauna for awhile. I desperately need to get away from the all the drama and bickering. Reading and posting in fauna used to be fun for me. Lately it has done nothing but upset me. No ones fault. Just the whole situation has become quite overwhelming.
I received an email today that quite literally had me so upset, I got sick. I called a friend and as much as I tried to be strong I broke down and cried like a baby. After receiving it, I have lost all hope for this topic or any other like it, turning itself around to once again being positive.
 
KelliH said:
I'll try harder, I'm sorry.

I just want Hayden back and that's all I want and I can't have it and I am very confused and pissed off and messed up and in pain and I am sorry I made it worse here. I shouldn't even be posting here on this it just makes me feel worse and please I hope nobody thinks less of me for it.
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Kelli, you have every right to feel the way you do. NO ONE can know your pain unless they have gone threw it themselves. You did NOT make it worse here. So please don't feel that way. People just get a little over board sometimes. And this time it couldn't come at the worst time. So again i say please don't feel that way.

And i know that i for one will NOT think less of you. May god speed you threw your grief. Just remember that the pain will go away, and so will the anger. But he will ALWAYS be with you in your heart and memories.
 
I agree

Ophis said:
Man oh Man......Letting all of this hen pecking, in fighting, he said/she said type behavior obscure and diminish the catalyst that eventually descended into this garbage. The tragic death of a young man and son of a Fauna contributer. All involved in this should be ashamed of themselves.
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Is there an award for whoever raises the most money? Are you guys looking for a shiny symbol to be placed next to you name to show you donated or helped out? You guys need to get your prospective on life fixed.

Forget auctions, those that consider her a friend, you should be donating money straight to a central fund.
 
look before you leap?

An expansion on my last post:

Intents doesn't always equal result. You (as in anyone in general) only need to take a brief glimps at the herp world to see how cuttthroat and imamture it CAN be. Now take the noblest of intentions and you better expect the same things to happen as it does in other areas of any part of life.

Heck, you see more controversy in noble endeavors even more then the mundane.

In the future, as traggic things happen regularly, I would look as the following as a good guideline:

1. Ask the person what help they need.
2. Keep privacy a concern and respect the victims wishes fully.
3. Keep it low key and direct. Why have part of my money go to the victim becasue some of it is redirected to an auction item. Just put some information out (donations, flowers, etc info) and have ONE! Point of Contact.

Though its too late to straighten this garbage out, maybe in the future it will bring more relief then stress to someone else.
 
romad119 said:
An expansion on my last post:

Intents doesn't always equal result. You (as in anyone in general) only need to take a brief glimps at the herp world to see how cuttthroat and imamture it CAN be. Now take the noblest of intentions and you better expect the same things to happen as it does in other areas of any part of life.

Heck, you see more controversy in noble endeavors even more then the mundane.

In the future, as traggic things happen regularly, I would look as the following as a good guideline:

1. Ask the person what help they need.
2. Keep privacy a concern and respect the victims wishes fully.
3. Keep it low key and direct. Why have part of my money go to the victim becasue some of it is redirected to an auction item. Just put some information out (donations, flowers, etc info) and have ONE! Point of Contact.

Though its too late to straighten this garbage out, maybe in the future it will bring more relief then stress to someone else.
Click to expand...


Sometimes things don't work the way that you would hope. The original intent was to have the fundraising focused in one spot. Not everyone was there, and they couldn't have known because we were keeping things quiet until we got an OK. A few different people went out of their way to begin separate funds - not knowing, at first, about the original idea. I don't fault these people at all. What they did came from the heart, and the results shouldn't be much different from 3 funds to 1 fund. Everyone's intentions were pure in the beginning - it's only after many assumptions were made, and the poisoning began, that this has become warped out of control.

Would it have been better to have one single focus spot? Yes. However - nothing was hurt by the fact that there was more then one focus. It wouldn't have been possible to tell EVERYONE who frequents the forum what the plans were while keeping it quiet at the same time. If you take out the personal squabbles, then what the community has done on a whole is amazing.

As for the auctions, and them not being appropriate. I ask why not? To give you my personal perspective - in the same week that this tragedy befell Kelli my A/C broke, as well as my car. I hardly have enough money for the next week or two to feed my husband, the animals, and myself, and pay mandatory bills. I would only be able to spare $5.00, which doesn't match the hole that I felt in my heart. So, instead, I am donating my time and my talent and I'm creating a painting for the auction. This painting can and will have a much larger effect then my $5.00 would have had. Auctions can and do produce a much greater fund raising effect. It's not nice to think about, but the nature of people dictates that the wallet will open wider if the person feels they are getting something in return.
 
excerpt from a famous book

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices in the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I grew into a man, I put my childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection in the mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I only know in part; then shall I know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three things remain: faith, hope and love; but the greatest of these is love.


1 Corinthians 13:4-13
 
Golden Gate Geckos said:
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices in the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I grew into a man, I put my childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection in the mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I only know in part; then shall I know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three things remain: faith, hope and love; but the greatest of these is love.


1 Corinthians 13:4-13
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That could, and should, be the greatest end ever to a thread.
 
auction

Yes, the auctions do help but they also create the storm that they did. Maybe auctions could have sent the proceeds to the victim anonymously. I just wouold put an announcemnt out about the situation and / or ask for donations. Normnal auction proceedings could have sent the procedds to the family. Anything to help out without people trying to have the spotlight shine on them. Maybe in the future.
 
romad119 said:
Yes, the auctions do help but they also create the storm that they did. Maybe auctions could have sent the proceeds to the victim anonymously. I just wouold put an announcemnt out about the situation and / or ask for donations. Normnal auction proceedings could have sent the procedds to the family. Anything to help out without people trying to have the spotlight shine on them. Maybe in the future.
Click to expand...


Good post but
I would also like to add that the auction itself created no such storm. Nobody that posted an Auction or bid on one that I am aware of did anything of the sort. The bitterness that you see has nothing to do with the actual donators and bidders. Some of the donators and bidders have done more privately so 100 percent of the bid could go where it belongs. You are unaware of a lot.
 
unfortunately

the good things usually are those that go unaware. Its the negative and bad that people eat up.
 
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