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When To Say Goodbye?

RMKrugel

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One of the most difficult decisions one has to face is when to say goodbye to a beloved animal. Even though I combine both hobby and business, I have never viewed my animals as assets to my business, but rather friends. True, over time one makes more of a connection with certain animals, and this is the case with Emmet.

Emmet is my prized White Throat Monitor, who is also my Avitar. I got him only two years ago, but in a short space of time we developed a strange relationship. He is not a “tame” monitor, and does not like too much attention. I do handle him, but prefer to let him do his own thing, and just enjoy watching him “be”. A picky eater, and rather old for the 5 year old he was supposed to be when I got him, I still could not resist. He had a limp, and X-rays revealed some arthritis in his shoulder joints and upper spine. Still, he manages to climb and get into some really interesting spaces when allowed to do so. But none the less, this was no real concern, only established that he was moving along in years.

About four weeks ago he stopped eating. Never a big reason for concern with my grumpy old man. Sometimes he would refuse food for a week or two and never show any adverse affect. This time however was different. Soon dramatic weight loss became apparent. We de-wormed him, although he had been wormed within a year, and also started force feeding every three or four days. At first this seemed to keep him steady, until the food started coming back out. He would “eat” a food item and a day or so later, he would regurgitate. After another trip to the Vet, daily soaking and some Vitamin injections, only mild improvement. We are now waiting for blood work, to see if the suspected kidney or liver damage may be the cause. The overwhelming fear however is that it is time for the big fast.

He still has some spunk, and I write this after another return from the Vet, and some more force feeding. Has it become time to let go, is it the inevitable? I have only so many places to turn to, and figured someone out there has a gem of wisdom, a last ditch hint of advice. For the most part, I write this to share how hard it is when that one herp starts to break your heart and it feels like there is nothing more you can do.
 

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What a handsome creature Ruan, just magnificent looking.

I'm sure you'll get good advice here, but in the end, you and your vet know him better than anyone, so you'll know when his quality of life has reached the point to where there's much more pain than not. Personally, it's at that point that I would consider what you're also considering. Ultimately, it's something you do out of love, not for any fiscal reasoning.

I've had to deal with that decision a couple of times, and I can understand what you're going thru.

I wish you the best of luck with him, and if the worst comes to pass, the peace that comes with knowing you did the right thing, to end suffering of a loved creature.
 
Ruan,

I wish I could offer you some advice that everything will turn out okay, but unfortunately, I cannot.

Please do wait for the bloodwork results, if it has already been drawn and paid for...it will give you peace of mind and reassurance in the log run.

You, and only you, know how your pet interacts with you on a day to day basis. Think back to the times when you first had him...where were his favorite places? What were his favorite foods? Does he now greet you when you open his cage? Does he eat with as much intensity as he used to?

Keep these things in mind when you are making "the decision"

I know it is EXHAUSTING sometimes, perfoming nursing care ROUND CLOCK for these guys when they're sick...you would do everything for them you would you're sister or brother, sometimes maybe more...? :p

Pay close attention to him for a while....He will let you know when it's his time to go.
 
Thank you both so much for your empathy and understanding. I should feel better prepared- I used to be a small animal and exotic surgery tech, but this is makes it harder. Feeling like I should know better, or be able to find a solution. I will let you know when I have the BW results back, probably tomorrow. Hopefully it will give some guidance as to where to go from here.
 
Personally ................... if it were me and I'm speaking only for myself ................ I would put him to sleep.

Force feeding is very uncomfortable for monitors and so a monitor that fights back and isn't lethargic will usually pull through. Usually. But I've also seen them come back from the brink of death and give a "fooled you" look.

Yes you'll know when it's time but it's possible he's already been suffering for a bit with regular force feeding and even gentle manhandling.

This is a question I asked my pet patients parents in the past when the decision to keep a pet alive was unclear.
Are you keeping them alive because it's better for you or better for them??

That is not an easy question to answer because it forces someone to possibly see an answer they don't want to.

I'm not trying to be mean or cold hearted. Believe me reading this hurts me since I can relate 100% to you since I lost my old guy Gator at the age of 13 and he had really bad arthritis.

Just please ask yourself the above question. Take a deep look into yourself and be honest. Don't rush the answer and feel your way through it don't think. I hope that makes sense. The right answer will come. Hugs.
 
The inevitable

So the inevitable has come to pass.

After the bloodwork came back we made the decision to give it the old college try, and try to offer him anything that he would eat. The bloodwork showed that calcium and phosphorous were on the high side, but still within normal parameters. However, there seemed to be something going on with his red blood cell production, and that he was passing and destroying red blood cells. The doctor said that it was undocumented, and perhaps impossible, but if it were a different animal he might have considered an auto-immune disease. So we did some shots, and continued the daily soaking regimen. I moved him into a quarantine cage and started to offer all sorts of foods- turkey, egg, chicken, chicks, rat pups, roaches, sails, shrimp, liver kidneys, mice, beef hearts and fish. He did not want any of the usual suspects. We tried live, dead, cooked and raw but no luck.

Today was the end of the week for him, and I went in to the reptile room this morning, checked him and all looked fine. At noon, I went in to double check things, as is my habit, and he had started passing large amounts of blood. I called for an appointment immediately. In the end the decision is made for me.
This is goodbye. I can only hope that I did not unnecessarily prolong his suffering, and I perhaps selfishly had really hoped we would find a solution. I submitted his last “fecal” and will post any interesting results, in the hope that some knowledge might be added, and someone may someday find some answers here.

Goodbye old friend.
 
So very sorry for your loss Ruan :(

You went above and beyond in trying to help your old friend get better, don't get down on yourself.

Rest in Peace Emmet.
 
So very sorry for your loss Ruan :(

You went above and beyond in trying to help your old friend get better, don't get down on yourself.

Rest in Peace Emmet.

:iagree: I wish more of my clients were as loving and caring as you are. You gave it your all, and that's all Emmet would ever ask for. He's comfortable now, and happy. No longer sick, he is healthy, vibrant and restored back to his old self. He still loves you very much, and I know the feeling is mutual. You two will meet again when the time is right. My prayers are with you.
 
So very sorry for your loss Ruan :(

You went above and beyond in trying to help your old friend get better, don't get down on yourself.

Rest in Peace Emmet.

:iagree: I wish more of my clients were as loving and caring as you are. You gave it your all, and that's all Emmet would ever ask for. He's comfortable now, and happy. No longer sick, he is healthy, vibrant and restored back to his old self. He still loves you very much, and I know the feeling is mutual. You two will meet again when the time is right. My prayers are with you.

:iagree: x2
Truer words were never spoken.

With deepest sympathy. Prayers to you and family in this time of loss. God speed Emmet.
 
I apologize for the long wait on the reply to this thread. Once again I have to thank many of you for your understanding and sympathy.

I just needed to take some time before I could make this final post, as there are some “graphic” details that I wanted to avoid for a while. You will recall that the bloodwork had shown a large number of destroyed/discarded red blood cells. There were no obvious reasons for this. On the day that we took Emmet to be euthanized, he had started passing blood, and at the end, some spongy tissue that ended up being part of the intestinal tract. This happened very quickly, and suddenly.

There were no signs of impaction, or foreign bodies upon investigation. The nature of this sample made it impossible to run as a fecal only, and had to be submitted as a histopathology also, as it would be considered “tissue”. Or at least some parts of it. I had hoped that this would give some answers, but I seem to be falsely optimistic. There were the usual parasites, but in small numbers and not at a parasitic load which could cause what he presented with. Added to this he had been de-wormed within the year.

So, nothing concrete, and only some speculation. In the end, it seems that his body had just started shutting down due to old age. I might have been keeping him alive slightly longer with my efforts, but these were futile. So, he would have started shutting down organs, and the blood flow to certain parts of his body would cease. This would have caused all sorts of other complications, such as necroses in the soft tissue of the intestine. He may have tried to prolapse some part of this, as monitors will sometimes do. In the end, all of these combining factors would have led to the inevitable.

Thank you for bearing with me. I only wish that there was some addition, or something to be learned from this. If I know what I had done wrong, I could fix it.
 
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