I feel i am being bullied

[polasian]

It's one thing to enforce the rules.... but it's another to enforce it equally..... The central clique in this forum pretty much operates unchecked.... while the outsiders get reprimands for every little thing......

As Dennis and others have already stated, no one apart from the Mods can view who received an infraction. Hence, your comments are unfounded.

If however, you're referring to the public "reprimands" posted by Mods...yes...OF COURSE you'll see that happen more often against users who are new or have low post counts. There are almost 70k users here, only a few hundred are active, the rest only post occasionally. As such, they aren't as familiar with this sites policies as the ones who have big post counts (the ones who I assume people are referring to as being part of some "clique").

Its all relative. Due to the sheer volume of "new/non-active/non-clique " users, there will inherently be more inappropriate posts made by that demographic. Hence, as a whole, they WILL be addressed more often. It has NOTHING to do with them being picked-on, though. When someone receives an infraction or is addressed publicly, its simply a nudge in the right direction to make them aware of what behavior is and isn't appropriate. We're trying to acclimate users to this website, not scare them away nor get rid of them.

In the classifieds (for example) things move at a quick pace. If one disruptive comment is left unchecked, then within a few hours that ad could potentially become unsalvageable (due to a back & forth argument which could develop, stemming from said disruptive comment). I often call-out "trouble" posts publicly to show that I have noticed whats transpired and that it has been addressed (I do this publicly because, again, no one can see if I hit said post with a warning or infraction).

9 out of 10 times the posts which I address are authored by new or not particularly active users. That's only because 9 out of 10 times the inappropriate posts are posted by new or not particularly active users. It really is that simple.

Heck, Harald publicly called me out on at least two occasions. Once when I was new and once after I became a Mod. I once even threatened Clay with an infraction for not listing his location within an ad, LOL. Of course I was joking when I sent him the PM but he immediately added in his location . (that was RIGHT after I became a Mod and it turned out that Clay purposefully left out his location to test me to see if I'd catch it, LOL!!!). My point is, it's irrelevant WHO makes the post...its WHATS posted that we take into account.

This used to be a really good forum... but it's more like a tank of piranhas now.....

You were hit for calling someone a feminine hygiene product. Is that what constitutes a "really good forum"?...a place that welcomes such personal attacks?

 

[DAND]

I just love that a person who has joined all of 5 days ago is going to tell us how things used to be here. Throw him into the tank with the piranhas of old and he'd really have something to cry about but this unsubstantiated whining is just annoying. He got all butt hurt for receiving an infraction or two and instead of owning up to his own mistake of breaking the rules for this site he has chosen instead to blame the site and some of it's members. Grow up and take responsibility for your actions. Learn the rules, know the rules and follow the rules, they are here for EVERYONE.

 

[DAND]

Because we're love bombing them....

http://www.cultwatch.com/hcwindex.html
(the following excerpt was taken from the "Mind Control - Love Bombing & Relationship Control" section)

Now they'll start saying the Welcome Room is really meant to be the Love Bombing Room.

 

[Southern Wolf]

(the ones who I assume people are referring to as being part of some "clique").

Hey Nick.... didn't ya get the memo... .you got booted from the clique when you became a doulbe agent and went to work for the other side

 

[brd7666]

Marc, anyone who would have made the comment that you made would have received infraction points. I have received infraction points myself in a BOI post. It happens from time to time to a lot of us.

Here is a screen shot of your comment.

 

[Dennis Hultman]

Well in the forums a certian four letter S word is unacceptable, but should it be the same in PM's. Should we not be able to converse as adults in PM and speak our minds (within reason) and try to work things out.

I understand he had a problem with a mod and they took it to PM..... but unless he just completely flew off the chain... should he have recieved an infraction for speaking what he thought/felt?

Now Im not saying he should have been free to abuse Harald or any other staff..... But there should be some give in PM's .

For instance... lets say that I have a problem with someone.... and I take it to PM and tell them what I think ..... then why cant that be done as adults without the use of the infracton system.... short of physical threats. Those have no place on any forum.

Im just trying to understand the thinking behind this.

Kevin, Let me give you my perspective as well. I'm not thinned skinned to take many comments to personally. If we were having a conversation about a post or disagreement about some general topic, more than likely I would not issue a warning. When I post as a member just like everyone else, I'm open to debate unless as you stated it becomes overly abusive. If the conversation was in private, I probably wouldn't issue a warning or infraction.
Normally, In my personal conversations I don't use profanity in the outside world so my conversations online wouldn't include it. But, and here is the big BUT, If I receive such a message in regards to a moderation decision, I will issue a warning or an infraction.

Some don't respond at all and some are very polite when they do respond when a infraction is issued. Someone who is not clear why they received an infraction I have no problem explaining why I gave it or if they think I'm mistaken. I'm willing to listening to what they have to state about it. Heck, were human and maybe I made a mistake. It has happened and I would be willing to correct it.

Unfortunately, it is amazing how some respond. Instead of politely expressing their concerns over the issue their messages are antagonistic or profanity laced. That will get you nowhere with me, even if I made a mistake. I will more than likely just issue new warnings and/or infractions for antagonism of a moderator instead.

In this particular instance Harald was far more lenient than I would have been. Considering, there has been an apology and the issue has already been handled and this was another moderator's call, there is no need to go into any specific points of the private message. I will state that had it been me that received that message in response to the warning he received at a minimum he would have been issued infraction points for antagonism and possibly suspended for at least a few days. It was completely out of line and abusive. I would have not thought twice about packing his bags out of here.

 

[Southern Wolf]

Dennis I understand where your coming from. Both when Harald and Rich spanked me... I came correct when I sent them a PM and explained my concerns and questioned their decision.

Its all how you approach the situation I guess. Even though what I said could be heard on an 8pm sitcom on CBS or NBC.... Rich was unwilling to reverse his infraction. So be it... its his site and I'll just deal with it.

Like I said... what caught me off guard and made me question things was that an infraction was given for a PM. Dennis you dont have to explain and I dont expect you to....The PM in question doesnt concern me... so its none of my business. I was just looking at the principal of the thing I guess.

Its all good though.

 

[JudyC]

Like I said... what caught me off guard and made me question things was that an infraction was given for a PM. Dennis you dont have to explain and I dont expect you to....The PM in question doesnt concern me... so its none of my business. I was just looking at the principal of the thing I guess.

That policy is not unique to Fauna. It's the same way at my site as well. What two friends say to each other in PM's is one thing. We don't police them because they are private, obviously. But if someone uses PM's to abuse someone else...with foul language, threats, or whatever....those WILL be dealt with appropriately. If one member does it to another member...then we have to rely on the abuse being reported. We won't know it's there otherwise. But if a member is dumb enough to abuse a mod in PM's...well, the whole step about reporting it can be skipped because the mod already knows the abuse has taken place and can deal with it immediately.

 

[polasian]

I'm all for responding to legitimate questions or concerns which arise from any actions that I take as a Mod. I must have emptied my inbox 5 or 6 times since becoming a Mod. I don't mind receiving feedback, on the contrary, I encourage it. If you think you've been wronged, then lets talk. Heck, recently I've exchanged 6 or 7 PM's with someone trying to convince them that the s word is not appropriate to use in a public forum .

However, the way I see it...if you're going to PM a Mod in his/her capacity as one, then you should conduct yourself in the same manner that you would within this feedback forum. I don't take anything personally. I'm in the classifieds pointing out what most would consider to be minor things. I'm a meter-maid, lol...no one likes the meter-maid, I get it. Non-the-less I can't ignore attacks against me as a moderator...because I must preserve the integrity of the Mod system. If I let them do it to me, then I'm sending off the message that its acceptable for them to talk that way to Harald, Clay, Dennis, etc...and its NOT!

Having said that, even thought there has been profanity in PM's which I've received, I never took issue with it (because the profanity was not directed towards me). On one occasion, however, I did issue a 0-point warning for profanity which was in a PM that I received. The individual didn't flat out say " you" BUT his/her reaction was out of contempt for my action(s). I also took into account that he/she had a prior 0-point warning for antagonizing a Mod (that warning was not issued by me).

I saw where that was going so I sent him/her a "hint" in hopes of preventing the situation from escalating. The VERY NEXT action that individual took was to post a comment in his/her ad referring to me as a "power-hungry idiot" (not those words exactly, but something to that effect). Hence, he/she now has a 6-pointer on their record for antagonizing a Mod .

 

[deborahbroadus]

I'm all for responding to legitimate questions or concerns which arise from any actions that I take as a Mod. I must have emptied my inbox 5 or 6 times since becoming a Mod. I don't mind receiving feedback, on the contrary, I encourage it. If you think you've been wronged, then lets talk. Heck, recently I've exchanged 6 or 7 PM's with someone trying to convince them that the s word is not appropriate to use in a public forum .

However, the way I see it...if you're going to PM a Mod in his/her capacity as one, then you should conduct yourself in the same manner that you would within this feedback forum. I don't take anything personally. I'm in the classifieds pointing out what most would consider to be minor things. I'm a meter-maid, lol...no one likes the meter-maid, I get it. Non-the-less I can't ignore attacks against me as a moderator...because I must preserve the integrity of the Mod system. If I let them do it to me, then I'm sending off the message that its acceptable for them to talk that way to Harald, Clay, Dennis, etc...and its NOT!

Having said that, even thought there has been profanity in PM's which I've received, I never took issue with it (because the profanity was not directed towards me). On one occasion, however, I did issue a 0-point warning for profanity which was in a PM that I received. The individual didn't flat out say " you" BUT his/her reaction was out of contempt for my action(s). I also took into account that he/she had a prior 0-point warning for antagonizing a Mod (that warning was not issued by me).

I saw where that was going so I sent him/her a "hint" in hopes of preventing the situation from escalating. The VERY NEXT action that individual took was to post a comment in his/her ad referring to me as a "power-hungry idiot" (not those words exactly, but something to that effect). Hence, he/she now has a 6-pointer on their record for antagonizing a Mod .

Is NOTHING sacred?? You promised it would stay private!!

 

[Southern Wolf]

are you kidding me... in the electronic age.. nothing is private.

 

[Lucille]

when Harald and Rich spanked me

I'd like to buy a ticket to that next time it happens

 

[Southern Wolf]

Considering my track record... that will probably happen sometime at the beginning of next year.

 

[polasian]

Is NOTHING sacred?? You promised it would stay private!!

well, I did say he/she to throw the scent off of you.

 

[crissabella]

I'd like to buy a ticket to that next time it happens

I'll pay for the tickets, Lucille

 

[deborahbroadus]

are you kidding me... in the electronic age.. nothing is private.

That is true, it started with the creation of the cell phone! (throws away cell phone).

 

[Southern Wolf]

That is true, it started with the creation of the cell phone! (throws away cell phone).

better throw away more than your cell.

 

[hhmoore]

This part of the discussion is all well and good, but look at it this way. Why should I, or any of the moderators be subjected to that crap via PM if we can't give as good as we get (if we were so inclined). If, when PMing a member in my capacity as moderator - or for any reason, realistically - I were to turn to name calling and profanity, does anybody not think that would be a problem? It's great that it's private conversation...but we all know it would result in a complaint posted here or a pi$$ed off message to Rich; and it wouldn't really matter what precipitated my words. If I can't call somebody a , threaten them, or otherwise abuse them; why should they be able to do those things to me? Sorry, it doesn't work that way. Come to me correct, as Kevin said, and I will put up with a lot - regardless of my personal feelings about you, or how much I disagree with what you are saying. Cross that line, though, and my tolerance disappears quickly.

 

[deborahbroadus]

better throw away more than your cell.

Whinnnnnnning...but but buttt...that's the ONLY thing I don't NEED!

 

[deborahbroadus]

This part of the discussion is all well and good, but look at it this way. Why should I, or any of the moderators be subjected to that crap via PM if we can't give as good as we get (if we were so inclined). If, when PMing a member in my capacity as moderator - or for any reason, realistically - I were to turn to name calling and profanity, does anybody not think that would be a problem? It's great that it's private conversation...but we all know it would result in a complaint posted here or a pi$$ed off message to Rich; and it wouldn't really matter what precipitated my words. If I can't call somebody a , threaten them, or otherwise abuse them; why should they be able to do those things to me? Sorry, it doesn't work that way. Come to me correct, as Kevin said, and I will put up with a lot - regardless of my personal feelings about you, or how much I disagree with what you are saying. Cross that line, though, and my tolerance disappears quickly.

I am sure that the ADULTS have no problem with what you are saying Harald.