I feel i am being bullied

[hdavidf309]

I'm a pretty independent entity when it comes to handling problems with people. I feel that even though I can be a bit sarcastic (and maybe a bit forward) at times, I'm usually pretty cool about things and can handle them nicely, but at this point, it comes down to this: hhmoore is clearly bullying me and I do not appreciate it in the slightest. I was new to the forum and posted a couple off topic subjects in the wrong place. I also told him that I would be careful to follow all rules and regulations accordingly. What it came down to is that he said things to me like "I could care less about you or your reptiles" and treated me like I was a child, and I didn't appreciate it at all, so I was abrasive in my response to what he had said, and like I said- probably a bit forward and sarcastic- and I think that because he didn't like it, it has caused him to bully me lately. i won't go into further detail. He has docked me 4 points at this point for (what I feel is) no reason. Its all good, so to speak, but I just wanted to bring this to your attention as i'm sure I'm not the only one. I mean for god's sake it says right on his avatar that he is tired and cranky! Just saying. If you are the one reading this, hhmoore and you want to talk to me, thats more than just fine with me, but try and stop bullying, and lets just get along, ok? If its anyone else- Glad you got a heads up from me. Thank you for your time while reading this.

-hdavidf309

 

[brd7666]

I don't recall hearing from anyone else that Harold was, or is bullying them. If you posted something in a particular forum that didn't belong there, then I can see why he would say something to you. I did not read you post's or his responces. If you get into a pissing match with a Mod in the forums, then you had better expect something negative coming your way. My advice to you is, if a Mod makes you mad, take it behind the scene's in a p.m. Keep it private and out of public view. if you are new, you may also want to read the rules so you can avoid these things in the future. No one likes to get warning points. I have racked up a few myself. So, think before you do, and you should be fine.

 

[hhmoore]

Well, I'll give you credit for putting this in the correct forum...but you are leaving out some important details:

Our interaction began after you were carrying on a personal conversation in another member's ad (telling about a recent purchase you made, asking that person's opinion of your acquisitions, and stating you would post pics). All I said was that you needed to take the sideline discussion to PM or a discussion forum.
When you responded back to me within the ad, mentioning respect and how you thought I was angry, I took it to PM - pointing out that continuing with offtopic posting was sort of shooting yourself in the foot. You then acknowledged that I am a moderator, but told me that your conversations about your reptiles were none of my business...(that's when I said that I could care less about your reptiles or your conversations - except when you are carrying on sideline discussions in the classifieds, or anyplace else they don't belong).

Your response to that that message is what earned you the infraction for profanity...and I was still going easy on you, since it could easily have been 6 points for antagonizing a moderator...I also could have added infractions for your offtopic posts, or banned you for a few days. For the record, I did include that PM in the infraction record, where it is subject to review by all other moderators. I doubt your "I did nothing wrong" claim will garner much support from that level.

I'm sorry you got your knickers in a twist over a mild reprimand, but it was your own actions that caused it to go further than that. You did acknowledge from the start that you would follow the rules...but with every such acknowledgement came a challenge or argument. Such passive/aggressive behavior is rarely beneficial - you might want to work on that a little.

 

[WebSlave]

I'm a pretty independent entity when it comes to handling problems with people. I feel that even though I can be a bit sarcastic (and maybe a bit forward) at times, I'm usually pretty cool about things and can handle them nicely, but at this point, it comes down to this: hhmoore is clearly bullying me and I do not appreciate it in the slightest. I was new to the forum and posted a couple off topic subjects in the wrong place. I also told him that I would be careful to follow all rules and regulations accordingly. What it came down to is that he said things to me like "I could care less about you or your reptiles" and treated me like I was a child, and I didn't appreciate it at all, so I was abrasive in my response to what he had said, and like I said- probably a bit forward and sarcastic- and I think that because he didn't like it, it has caused him to bully me lately. i won't go into further detail. He has docked me 4 points at this point for (what I feel is) no reason. Its all good, so to speak, but I just wanted to bring this to your attention as i'm sure I'm not the only one. I mean for god's sake it says right on his avatar that he is tired and cranky! Just saying. If you are the one reading this, hhmoore and you want to talk to me, thats more than just fine with me, but try and stop bullying, and lets just get along, ok? If its anyone else- Glad you got a heads up from me. Thank you for your time while reading this.

-hdavidf309

Actually, in my opinion you are lucky. Had you sent the PM to me or a couple of the other mods here that you sent to Harald, you would be banned already. So even though he may be "tired and cranky" it appears to me that he was VERY lenient with you. The moderators here are under no compulsion to tolerate blatant abuse from members for the job they are helping me out with on this site. They are VOLUNTEERS, and are helping out for no other reason than they want this site to thrive and are willing to put in the effort to try to make that happen. There is no reason in the world why they should have to tolerate someone else cussing them out because of what they are doing here.

And quite honestly, I have instructed the mods to crack down harder on infractions (which has been taking place gradually for a while now) in order to get this site on an even keel and try to eliminate the reputation that has overwhelmed it for the nastiness and biting demeanor of many of the discussions that have taken place here. No one likes to be reprimanded, but there really is no choice if I am to force this site to get back to being more reputable and credible. I ask all members to help me in this endeavor, but am quite willing to forcibly remove anyone who tries to buck this effort.

Take this however you wish, but I strongly suggest that you go with the flow and don't bump heads with my moderators. Unless they are clearly and undeniably in the wrong, I will back them 100 percent.

 

[deborahbroadus]

I'm a pretty independent entity when it comes to handling problems with people. I feel that even though I can be a bit sarcastic (and maybe a bit forward) at times, I'm usually pretty cool about things and can handle them nicely, but at this point, it comes down to this: hhmoore is clearly bullying me and I do not appreciate it in the slightest. I was new to the forum and posted a couple off topic subjects in the wrong place. I also told him that I would be careful to follow all rules and regulations accordingly. What it came down to is that he said things to me like "I could care less about you or your reptiles" and treated me like I was a child, and I didn't appreciate it at all, so I was abrasive in my response to what he had said, and like I said- probably a bit forward and sarcastic- and I think that because he didn't like it, it has caused him to bully me lately. i won't go into further detail. He has docked me 4 points at this point for (what I feel is) no reason. Its all good, so to speak, but I just wanted to bring this to your attention as i'm sure I'm not the only one. I mean for god's sake it says right on his avatar that he is tired and cranky! Just saying. If you are the one reading this, hhmoore and you want to talk to me, thats more than just fine with me, but try and stop bullying, and lets just get along, ok? If its anyone else- Glad you got a heads up from me. Thank you for your time while reading this.

-hdavidf309

Oooooo, you got caught in LIES OF OMISSION...better apologize to Harald, and just follow the rules. We all get reprimanded when we break them.

 

[Clay Davenport]

I read the PM you sent Harald. He was lenient with you indeed. You send a profanity laced antagonizing message to a moderator, and when you are reprimanded for it you think you are being bullied?
None of the moderators here have any desire to abuse their authority. As evidenced in this case, we prefer to take a lighter hand if at all possible and not ban people unless we absolutely have to.
You apparently think you can act however you wish toward us without any expectation of repercussions.

Follow the rules of the site and you will get along here just fine, insist on breaking them then verbally abusing the moderation team in response to your infractions and your stay here will be short.

 

[hdavidf309]

To Harold (hhmoore): Fine, i was wrong and you were right. I suppose the whole thing is that I am stubborn and sometimes can be insubortinate (how you spell that), because I take things the wrong way or too seriously. i suppose I need to work on that, for its a really bad character flaw. I realize that I cannot ask you to re-word the things you say to me or the way you say them, because after all- its my problem, not yours. Plus you are a moderator and you really dont have to care at all about my feelings cause clearly you will win anyway. That being said- lets start over. i'll take the infraction, thank you for not being as hard on me as you could have been, and just say to you personally I am sorry. Like the other moderator said, and I know, getting into an argument with you (a moderator, or "having a pissing contest"....in the end I'm never gonna win. So lets start on a clean slate, tell me if I do something wrong, I'll try and follow the rules, and lets get along-shall we?

To brd7666: Thank you for the response. I will take your advise to heart and hopefully there will not be any problems in the future. I enjoy this forum just as much as the next and the last thing I want to do is mess something else up. Its all good....

To webslave: quite simply I respect and admire your position on the situation, and migt I say also, that you have a great thing going with this forum (etc...). I am trying my hardest to just make amends and "go with the flow", and hopefully after I am done with that, everything will be back to normal. Not the best time to bring this up,maybe, but I love this site too, and I want what you want, so when it comes to further conversations, I will try and keep anyone more in line if they are being nasty or disruptive too, if you will allow or if you want that. what do ya say? Its also a volunteer thing...

to deborahbroadus: You just plain seem like a nice person. I appreciate your reponse/concern!


NOW, LETS ALL GET ALONG!!!!!!!!!! YAY!

 

[hdavidf309]

and....OK CLAY DAVENPORT- tHANKS!

 

[jeffwyatt81]

I too felt like I was being bullied by Harold when I first signed up as a member here on Fauna and got into a "pissing match" or two but I quickly realized that I was not going to win and that if I had just followed the rules of this site I most likely would have been left alone. Just keep your cool and let things roll off your back and if you do have a problem with someone keep a level head and take care of it privately via PM, e-mail, etc... and you will quickly gain respect on this forum. Although Harold may be a "tired & cranky moderator" he will not throw infractions for unjust reasons, he has been part of this site for many years now and I believe he just wants to keep it a nice respectable place for herp lovers like us to all enjoy for many years to come and keep the off topic posting to a minimum so that everyone has a fair shot at using this site for it's intended purpose. Though there are many sites to be a part of there are none that I have found that even come remotely close to giving the resources that Fauna does here and you will learn in time that there are many, many friends to be made here and this place runs like a huge family and we all look out for one another.

Clay & Mods, Keep up the good work!

 

[Southern Wolf]

Harald... I'd like to ask a question because Im not sure I read it correctly.

You issued an infraction because of something that was said in a PM and not on the boards?

 

[deborahbroadus]

Harald... I'd like to ask a question because Im not sure I read it correctly.

You issued an infraction because of something that was said in a PM and not on the boards?

Webslave had already issued a notice a while ago that the PM function was NOT to be used to spew filth. Apparently, the OP used some choice unacceptable language.

 

[JordanAng420]

PM or public....antagonizing and using profanity towards a moderator is not cool. Harald is totally justified in giving the warning points IMO. I would suggest that the OP just lay low for a while...that's just my suggestion, however.

Off topic: Happy 400th post for me.

 

[Southern Wolf]

Webslave had already issued a notice a while ago that the PM function was NOT to be used to spew filth. Apparently, the OP used some choice unacceptable language.

Well in the forums a certian four letter S word is unacceptable, but should it be the same in PM's. Should we not be able to converse as adults in PM and speak our minds (within reason) and try to work things out.

I understand he had a problem with a mod and they took it to PM..... but unless he just completely flew off the chain... should he have recieved an infraction for speaking what he thought/felt?

Now Im not saying he should have been free to abuse Harald or any other staff..... But there should be some give in PM's .

For instance... lets say that I have a problem with someone.... and I take it to PM and tell them what I think ..... then why cant that be done as adults without the use of the infracton system.... short of physical threats. Those have no place on any forum.

Im just trying to understand the thinking behind this.

 

[deborahbroadus]

PM or public....antagonizing and using profanity towards a moderator is not cool. Harald is totally justified in giving the warning points IMO. I would suggest that the OP just lay low for a while...that's just my suggestion, however.

Off topic: Happy 400th post for me.

You said it MUCH better.

 

[deborahbroadus]

Well in the forums a certian four letter S word is unacceptable, but should it be the same in PM's. Should we not be able to converse as adults in PM and speak our minds (within reason) and try to work things out.

I understand he had a problem with a mod and they took it to PM..... but unless he just completely flew off the chain... should he have recieved an infraction for speaking what he thought/felt?

Now Im not saying he should have been free to abuse Harald or any other staff..... But there should be some give in PM's .

For instance... lets say that I have a problem with someone.... and I take it to PM and tell them what I think ..... then why cant that be done as adults without the use of the infracton system.... short of physical threats. Those have no place on any forum.

Im just trying to understand the thinking behind this.

I understand. For us Plebs..maybe. But for the MODS no. They are volunteers and aren't paid, thus should not have to read profanity aimed at them?

I don't know about "certain" words. I used the word "BS" and got tagged. If BS isn't safe, imo, no word should be safe. lol

 

[brd7666]

I did not go and read what was posted in the classifieds by Harold before I made my first post. Out of curiosity I looked up the post the OP had his first problem with. I have to say that Harold was very polite to the OP, and the OP really was out of line with whatever was said in the p.m. He even says he will stop in his follow up post from the warning that was issued. Here is a screen shot, and I will say Harold was very nice about it.

 

[Lucille]

Deborah be careful, just repeating that you used the Bachelor of Arts could get you tagged again. I quoted someone once and got tagged for what they said.

Of course we all want a better environment........

 

[brd7666]

Here is a link to the thread in question, and quotes that are of the screen shot above.

http://www.faunaclassifieds.com/forums/showthread.php?t=191643

With all respect, David, this is not the place for such sideline conversation...please take it to PM or the discussion forum.

This is what Harold said to the OP, and I see no anger in this post.

I won't do it anymore. I do have respect for you if you have respect for me, don't get me wrong, but you seemed a little angry.

This is how the OP responded, and to be honest, I never saw any anger in Harold's post.

 

[DAND]

Some people are just so sensitive. If you were thinking Harald was acting angry and bullying you by asking you "with all respect" to move your conversation to an appropriate place then maybe you need to get some thicker skin. I'd say Harald was professional and really gave you a break when he could have just dinged you with an infraction right off the bat. Being a newb probably got you that beak. I'd suggest reading the rules and know them well and / or learn from your infractions. Hell, if I can do anyone can. It's so easy a caveman can do it.


Note: I am in no way angry or attempting to bully you by making this response (or am I?????)

 

[deborahbroadus]

Deborah be careful, just repeating that you used the Bachelor of Arts could get you tagged again. I quoted someone once and got tagged for what they said.

Of course we all want a better environment........

I'm dancing as fast as I can!

Some people are just so sensitive. If you were thinking Harald was acting angry and bullying you by asking you "with all respect" to move your conversation to an appropriate place then maybe you need to get some thicker skin. I'd say Harald was professional and really gave you a break when he could have just dinged you with an infraction right off the bat. Being a newb probably got you that beak. I'd suggest reading the rules iand know them well and / or learn from your infractions. Hell, if I can do anyone caNn. It's so easy a caveman can do it.


Note: I am in no way angry or attempting to bully you by making this response (or am I?????)