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Can people really change?

Maybe they just don't have to, ever thought about that?

I feel that I grow and change every single day of my life, some things are for the better and some need to be changed again after time.

I am not the person I was ever not even yesterday, everything about me and around me changes me every single day of my life.
 
In the core, and during the course of their lives, people don't change that much. In MHO it's a waste of anyone's time trying to put in what was left out in the first place. Having said this, I will have to contradict myself right away (and thus give credence to the fact that people do change). Studies show that the rate of divorce is higher between couples that get married earlier in life. Maybe the explanation has been oversimplified but it is generally attributed to the fact that interests change as they mature. Do mature people change? I have witnessed it personally, but it takes a "life changing event" to make that happen.

Regards.
 
dragonflyreptiles said:
I am not the person I was ever not even yesterday, everything about me and around me changes me every single day of my life.
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Sounds kinda like pschitsofrenia. :raspberry J/K



Seriously, people can change. Many examples are all over the place. You mention prison.......Judge Joe Brown. He became a judge after doing time.
I Myself, would not be here today if I hadn't changed My ways. Either by overdose, or by some violant means, if i had not changed, I would have long since been gone. Simple fact.

But i also think that it does require a certain amount of testicular fortitude to make these changes. Sometimes the sacrifice you must make to acquire the change, is so severe that people will not make it. I had to give up family, friends and all I knew in order to make changes in my life. Try giving up family for 10 years. No communication, visits, xmas's.........NADA! It's not an easy thing to do.

It also has to be a desire within one self, or it just will not happen. I garuntee people will not change because someone else tells them they have to. They need to see the problem themselves and make a determination from within. Simple as that. No amount of "Help" will do if the person does not beleive they have a problem.


Rick
 
Sounds kinda like pschitsofrenia. J/K
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You should see how difficult it is to type these words while wearing my straight-jacket. :)

Regards.
 
critical bill said:
Hummmm....changes. Why try and be a mouse when you were born a lion.
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Maybe because there are people that would rather humbly thrive on the crumbles life throws at them rather than preying on others? :shrug01:
 
critical bill said:
Hummmm....changes. Why try and be a mouse when you were born a lion.
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And sometimes, the mouse can get into places the lion cannot.

I do think that friendships between the two can work out most admirably.
 
I believe it comes down to ownership. Who really "owns" your actions? Too many people want to come up with the excuse that they behave they way they do because it was how they were raised. Or, I did this to you because your made me feel this way.

The fact of the matter is, and fortunately for me I learned this early on, I own my behavior. Nobody here can make me behave in a certain way. You cannot make me react in a certain way. I, and only I, can choose how I will respond to a person or situation.

In the case of the situation, we can be as heavy handed as we need to be in order to get across a specific point to the offender. However, until that person owns their behavior they will never be able to change it.

I don't mean to pick on Laura but since she offered up her history here, I will use her. She is a recovering addict. She is "recovering" because she came to the understanding that it was her and only her who could pour that bottle down her mouth. She owned her behavior and therefore empowered herself to change. Something in which I commend you deeply for Laura!

Then, on the other hand, is my brother. He's 35 years of age and should be picking out his prison clothes real soon. He has always chosen the path of least resistance and has always made it a habit to blame others for his actions. He will now have to sit in a courtroom while I sit next to the judge and tell him my story. About how my brother blamed my 6 year old son for making my brother steal my son's PSP over this past Christmas. After all, it was my son's fault for working as hard as he did to earn it. John felt inferior to my son so therefore my son deserved to lose the PSP (it's a $400 handheld game).

That type of person will never change until they own their actions. And, for these type of people, I will not give you a second chance until years have gone by. I will not put myself in a situation where you have to ask yourself what is the difference between right and wrong. I will not allow you the privilege of taking my money.

So, to answer your question. Yes, they can change. But the effort to change will not be anywhere near as great as the effort it will take to make me change my mind about them. Fool me once.......

Griz
 
critical bill said:
Hummmm....changes. Why try and be a mouse when you were born a lion.
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but whos to say whos born a lion..or a mouse...god gave us the right to free will..and thats what we use to make our decisions....thats the main difference between us and animals...we dont make decisions off instinct..even the first man and woman....the big difference w/ them was that they were perfect...so they had no excuse to make the mistake that they did..but they still were given that free will...they just used it for the worse...so we have the choice to use our free will for better or for worse as well....so people can change because they have that ability to, its just up to them to use that ability :)
 
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