Charles,
This forum sees quite a few claims where the seller's TOS are written such to allow the seller to claim what is pretty much "its alive, its yours" protection against claims. Your TOS say "alive and healthy" on arrival at the airport, but would seem to be excessively tight in the eyes of many, as the buyer has to make the "healthy" call right then. Most other sellers will at least allow the buyer a reasonable window to get the animal into its new home and evaluate it, and their guarantee will hinge more on an overall satisfaction clause, and not just "death" or a dispute about relative health. I think that the proper thing, and what most of the reptile community adheres to, would have been the flexibility to have prompted a discussion once misgivings were expressed. This would have resulted in an agreed upon and definitive course of action once the buyer called you with reservations, which seems to have been within hours of delivery. Maybe something like "evaluate it for 24 hours", or "lets give it a week", etc. That did not happen, and now you have the added charges/countercharges about feeding and probing. I see no worry of a legal dispute here, as your TOS protect you there. But I can see the majority of the readers here not only thinking you could have done better, but that you had an ethical obligation to do better. IMO, if "feeding and probing" were going to be the stress that broke the proverbial camel's back, then the animal was unfit to begin with. To your credit, you did offer some money back, which is better than many disputes here.