• Responding to email notices you receive.
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  • IMPORTANT! PLEASE READ!! About the Google Adsense ads being displayed

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    Want to get rid of them? Simple. Just become a Contributor level member or above and they will be gone. -> Please click HERE."

    Is that too much for me to ask of you to keep this site running? Well, sorry about that. I too wish I could get everything for free. But alas.....

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    Google Adsense ad revenue for December, 2025 was just $30 over the cost of the lease for the server running this site. So, in effect, the money providing the incentive for me to continue running this site is coming SOLELY from the paid memberships and sponsorships here. Which honestly ain't much....

Fear

How do you approach relationships?

  • I have found my one and only, so this does not apply to me

    Votes: 7 25.9%

  • I have never had an important relationship but look forward to one some day

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • I want to know the person for a loooooong time before taking any relationship risks

    Votes: 3 11.1%

  • I just jump right on in! I got GAME !!!!

    Votes: 1 3.7%

  • I have a new relationship every three weeks or so, it doesn't bother me if it doesn't work out

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Too scary. I'm not gonna do it.

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • I've been hurt before, but realize that in order to love, you have to risk rejection

    Votes: 6 22.2%

  • I have to control everything. So it's never a risk.

    Votes: 1 3.7%

  • I like people. That, and honesty, is what I use for my approach

    Votes: 6 22.2%

  • I AM TOTALLY CLUELESS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Votes: 5 18.5%
  • Total voters
    27
Personally I just like getting to know people. If things click and a relationship of some kind evolves then great. I have been heart broken and have broken hearts, neither one is any fun.

Right now I am a 36 year old single dad. I have full custody of my 10 year old daughter. I have had custody for almost 7 years. I own my own home and my daughter and I share it with my best friend, Judy. We have known each other since second grade. Judy moved in a little over 2 years ago when she went back to college to pursue a medical degree. We have dated romantically off and on through the years (and still occasionally share an intimate moment or two) but we truly are just best friends.

At this point in my life I do not even want a serious relationship. All of my time and energy is devoted to being a dad. I am truly content at this point in my life just having casual relationships. Someday I know I would like to get seriously involved again but for right now my kid is where my focus and heart is at.

Besides, getting seriously involved right now would not be right, because who ever that unfortunate lady was, she would always be playing second fiddle to my daughter and that would not be fair. When my youngin' gets on with her adult life then I can get on with mine. Until then I can continue acting like a thirty something year old kid. :)
 
Sammy:

Love is not something that runs out when you spend it, like money. You do not have to worry that because you love your daughter, you will not have space to love someone else.
People who are together and have children do not lose their love simply because little ones come into their lives, and the same is true of you. While certainly there is a time factor, having children never precludes finding space in your heart for someone else.
The more you love, the greater your capacity for love.

Disclaimer:
The whole fidelity thing is very complex and does not depend on your capacity to love. If you have a wife or gf, they will NOT understand if you tell them that you have more space and want a second wife or gf so don't try it and if you do, do NOT attribute it to me....

And Wes: I was KIDDING....of COURSE there is no one answer....If there was, I have enough confidence in my intellectual abilities that I would have it by now instead of being clueless....(Shhhhh....to all readers, I have this aura of competence, please do not tell how clueless I am about guys, lol).
 
Hmmm, I voted that I have my one and only because I have no intention of ever being without him but.....

I have a guy best friend, he was my first true love and I will always love him, but we had different goals in life so we finally decided to be friends. I would much rahter have him in my life as my best friend than to have pushed the relationship and wound up hating each other.

Then I got married at 23 for all the wrong reasons, our goals were very well matched but the love was not there and I guess I thought that since we wanted the same things it would all work out but by 25 I was filing for seperation and divorce.

At that point I bounced around alot and met my now one and only, our goals are not so close, he doesn't really care for the reptiles or my dogs but tolerates them well. And I do love him and like the time we have together but with all that said....

I now think from time to time that my first love would have been the perfect life long relationship, but being very young at the time I got too caught up in having so much in common that I didn't take the risk to find out what could have been, but I still stand behind the fact that he will always be in my life.

Not sure if that made any sense, but I have found that my reasons for relationships and what is tolerable in a relationship changed quite a bit from way back to now.
 
Wendy, you did it right. It is important to know yourself, or at least try, prior to becoming close with others.
 
I'm just getting out of an 11 year marriage that went south without me knowing about it. Yeah, now that I look back, I should have realized that he wasn't happy, but I had faith that if things were really bad he'd tell me. By the time he did, he wasn't willing to put any effort into fixing what went wrong. Now, I'd love to be in a relationship where I could trust someone, have someone to come home to, etc., but I'm scared to death to date- I'm so afraid I'll really like someone and get dumped. I'd like to find someone I've known for a while to date, but all the good ones are taken!
 
Yeah, I'm in the same situation, can't find a good one: Men are like parking spaces, the good ones are all taken and the rest are handicapped. :nopity: hee,heee....
 
Shannon,

I feel for you!! I was only married 2 years and I asked for the divorce but I was still devastated. Didn't go to work for over 3 months, slept all day and went really off the wall. But I had a good friend from work come over and make me get up, get dressed and ready and go out, things did not get better for a while but after I went back to work and started living again things got a little better.

Meeting my guy was a big accident and a weird situation. Long story short, I was actually dating a friend of his families that helped take care of his grandparents and one day when we went over Rodney was there. Me and my date had an argument and Rodney offered to follow me home since we were in my truck and I was upset.

We met up at a cook out months later and got to talking, he was going threw a hard time with his exwife and their kids since he had moved back home and they didn't have extra bedrooms for the kids to have visits.

I hated living alone, really HATED it, so I offered for him to rent one of my extra rooms so he would have a place for his kids to have on visitaition.

We both dated other people for about a year and it was so much fun having him here, we would stay up for hours laughing about our good or bad date and talk about work and such, then one night I can home and he was just sitting there listening to my favorite Boonie Rait CD and he asked "Why not me?"

I had no idea what he meant at first, but he soon explained how he felt and that many nights he had sat in his car in a parking lot just so it would look like he was on a date too.

I thought about it and knew that I cared a lot for him, he already knew a ton of thigns about me that he did not like, like my passion for animals and he wanted to be with me anyway.

There are things about him I don't like too, like his passion for demolition derby but there are always little quirks about people.

So we became us and it was unexpected but I am very happy with the way things went then and how we are now.

Good things will happen for you Shannon and for you too Lucille!!
 
Wendy: Thank you for your thoughtful and insightful post. As far as good things for me, I WANT THEM RIGHT NOW!!! lol
 
lol Lucille, I will say Im not a very patient person myself but I have found that the best things happen when you expect and look for nothing.

I feel like you are a very good person, you are very helpful to people, and very helpful to fauna and you sure have made me laugh on many a not so good day.

Ill send some super good vibes your way and hope they help :)
 
Try harder, it's been 5 minutes and nothing has happened yet....... :D


Thank you for the good wishes.... :)
 
lol I asked my 5 year old if you can have one of his "wishing stones" and he said yes

We have a gravel driveway and eveytime he finds a solid white rock he says its a wishing stone and puts it in a jar, so if you are ever in need send me our addy and we will send you a wishing stone :)
 
How about you just have it delivered by a cute tanned cowboy in a pickup truck; want him about 45-55, at least 6', and a reptile lover....
 
Ooops, I just read my first post and last post, do not know how on earth I got from fear of relating, and then to cowboys in that short a time, must be a Texas thing, lol.... :hehe:
 
Oh Rob, that is a good thing, Id love for one day to be in a room of people without fear and true desperation, as long as they were desperate for the same things I am lol
 
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