lanceheads
Code Red Serpents
So Mike, besides writing prose for a living, you actually work for Ian?
I am actually a full time writer for a XXX story megasite, but I have been known to make a WICKED Bloomin' Onion with a side of Chase Froys. I am however currently off work to recover from a hernia repair operation (probably originally caused my me trying to lift the staggering weight of my own greatness out of bed one morning), so I have nothing better to do than sit around all day bashing kids 5 years younger than myself on the internet while I sit on a hemorrhoid pillow to avoid sitting on my large, bruised, swollen testicles.
Livin' the dream, baby!!!

so I have nothing better to do than sit around all day bashing kids 5 years younger than myself on the internet while I sit on a hemorrhoid pillow to avoid sitting on my large, bruised, swollen testicles.
Livin' the dream, baby!!!
I sent David and Shane a private message telling them to call us and discuss their problems so that they could be resolved. I then posted an apology and wrote a "cute" (in the words of hhmoore) little poem to try to put an end to the rather high tension levels in the thread. I received a 3 point infraction from hhmoore for my apology for being "destructive." Apologizing apparently is even worse than the 2 points I got for using profanity in an earlier post.
I also told the truth and gave a reason why I am not in the best of moods and may have reacted a little to strongly to the small issue of a teenager badmouthing the company I work for- I just got out of surgery and I am not having the time of my life during recovery. I also received an infraction for 3 points from hhmoore for that.
Next thing I know I have a "super duper" moderator telling me that he wished that I had some sort of sexually transmitted disease that would render me sterile. Way to set a shining example for the rest of us. Nowhere in this thread did I personally attack anybody, yet I have a moderator telling me he wants my balls to fall off. Anyways, if he was a real doctor like he claims to be he would know that a very common side effect of the hernia repair surgery that I mentioned I underwent is bruised, swollen testicles due to drainage from the surgery site- simple gravity in action.
I am not too concerned about it since the only people in this thread who know me are Ryan, who I have probably disappointed, and David D, with whom I am already in the process of making amends.
I will offer my apologies once again for being somewhat rude, but I stand by my statement that nowhere in this thread did I try to personally demean or belittle anybody involved; I was simply arguing the facts of what happened and offering examples of previous actions of the parties involved in trying to slander the business with which I am employed.
I eagerly await my infraction for whatever it is that I did wrong in this post.
Please accept my apologies for offending anybody in the process of discounting the testimonies of these obviously stable and well-mannered kids. To make amends I have written a poem:
Hey! I'm a Dog!
I play in the mud!
I sometimes roll around in crud!
My favorite activities are pooping and sleeping
But I also enjoy barking and eating.
Yesterday I chased a UPS Guy;
I ran through my invisible fence and started to fry :/
So i went back into my yard, but sh*t! Malfunction!
My electrical collar continued to sizzle my brain!
I ran to the door, looking for help
But my master was gone and could not hear me yelp!
He had gone to the store to buy fishing lures,
And should be back by now (was he taking detours?)
But wait? What was happening? The UPS guy is back?
A package for me? I'm a dog, is he on crack?
But he leaned really close (he could see my despair)
He said "What's wrong? Why do I smell burning hair?"
I tried to explain my dire situation
But he could not speak dog, much to my frustration.
So I motioned to him as if to say "My neck!"
He gave me a look as if to say "What the heck?"
Luckily for me, UPS Hires intelligent employees
He figured out what was wrong, and freed me! YIPPEE!
With the collar removed, I sighed in relief.
Then decided to give the UPS Guy more grief!
For I was no longer restrained by the invisible fence
And my territory needed some vicious defense!
I chased that evil mail-man away
My home was safe... at least for the rest of the day...
I am actually a full time writer for a XXX story megasite, but I have been known to make a WICKED Bloomin' Onion with a side of Chase Froys. I am however currently off work to recover from a hernia repair operation (probably originally caused my me trying to lift the staggering weight of my own greatness out of bed one morning), so I have nothing better to do than sit around all day bashing kids 5 years younger than myself on the internet while I sit on a hemorrhoid pillow to avoid sitting on my large, bruised, swollen testicles.
Livin' the dream, baby!!!
Your apology, such as it was, did not earn you the infraction...it was the off topic portion of that same post, and I'm pretty sure you realize that.I then posted an apology and wrote a "cute" (in the words of hhmoore) little poem to try to put an end to the rather high tension levels in the thread. I received a 3 point infraction from hhmoore for my apology for being "destructive." Apologizing apparently is even worse than the 2 points I got for using profanity in an earlier post.
Frankly, your explanation - being an XXX writer, making a WICKED bloomin onion, a hernia caused by lifting the staggering weight of your greatness out of bed, and the status of your testicles - regardless of the reason are all off topic. The fact that you "have nothing better to do than sit around all day bashing kids 5 years younger than myself on the internet while I sit on a hemorrhoid pillow" might be your explanation...but it doesn't excuse anything.I also told the truth and gave a reason why I am not in the best of moods and may have reacted a little to strongly to the small issue of a teenager badmouthing the company I work for- I just got out of surgery and I am not having the time of my life during recovery. I also received an infraction for 3 points from hhmoore for that.
Frankly, your explanation - being an XXX writer, making a WICKED bloomin onion, a hernia caused by lifting the staggering weight of your greatness out of bed, and the status of your testicles - regardless of the reason are all off topic. The fact that you "have nothing better to do than sit around all day bashing kids 5 years younger than myself on the internet while I sit on a hemorrhoid pillow" might be your explanation...but it doesn't excuse anything.

In all fairness, I was asked what I did for a living![]()
So Mike, besides writing prose for a living, you actually work for Ian?
Actually, in all fairness, the question was asking if you work for Ian. Try reading it again. Here it is:
My mistake. i thought it would be more beneficial to the thread to post some of my other occupations since I already said I was with Outback in m very first post in this thread.
Next thing I know I have a "super duper" moderator telling me that he wished that I had some sort of sexually transmitted disease that would render me sterile. Way to set a shining example for the rest of us. Nowhere in this thread did I personally attack anybody, yet I have a moderator telling me he wants my balls to fall off. Anyways, if he was a real doctor like he claims to be he would know that a very common side effect of the hernia repair surgery that I mentioned I underwent is bruised, swollen testicles due to drainage from the surgery site- simple gravity in action.
David Deem, which part of your brain are you missing? I know you are just 15, but how many warnings does it take to get it through your thick skull that we will NOT allow you to continue slandering Outback Reptiles. As far as I know your only connection with us is when you walk by our tables at Manassas gawking at our colubrids. I don't think you have ever bought anything from us. So what's the deal?
Maybe you should leave the thinking to those who are more qualified to be doing so if you thought anybody cared where else you worked? You were simply being asked to verify that you did indeed work for Ian / Outback Reptiles.
If I left the thinking to others then you guys would still be thinking I flipped steaks for a living