What happened to the HAYDEN Banner???

[Ophis]

Thanks Wendy. Maybe even within all the crap, there is still a gem to be found.

Yea.......well you better wear your hip waders.

 

[dragonflyreptiles]

you gotta get some better codes for that sarcasm thingy, Id get more warning points or suspended if I posted my code for it so I won't

 

[Sasheena]

I have no "in's" into the why's or wherefore's but I think I'm beginning to get a handle on things:

1. Tragedy happened.

2. Various and sundry individuals, in reaction to the tragedy, asked themselves and others how they could help.

3. A fund/auction/something was set up on "Chris's" site.

4. Banners were created and using an existing advertising banner here on Fauna, those banners were posted on this site (without any discussion with the owner of this site) who perhaps had an opinion of this.

5. There were/was/is some issue regarding this banner that created some private (to which I am NOT privy) communiques...

6. The Hammack fund was started here.

7. Differences of Opinion, Rude PM's and Reputation Points, Temper tantrums, and every bad character trait possible reared their ugly head

I THINK that people believe that Rich didn't want there to be auctions elsewhere, and actively tried to prevent (?) this or ... ? (This is so absurd and petty that I find this difficult to understand or even elaborate on as a possible motive). I believe that personalities being what they are, that people formed opinions of motives behind actions and words that were/are uncorrect... however if you are certain in your heart that the motions mean a specific thing, then it is very easy to SEE that it meant that what you believe it meant and not be able to go any further.

I BELIEVE that in the end every person who has participated in these histrionics is HUMAN, makes errors, etc. Rich probably made errors in expressing his opinion of a specific action in such a way that it resulted in the ability to believe in some other nefarious and petty motive. Lucille made an error in posting a thread in the wrong location for the tirade it became. Perhaps some other major errors were made, in judgement, interpretation and even opinion.

DAMN IT ALL, let it go! (I know this is ridiculous to ask, as it will never happen, some of you are like terriers with your favorite bone).

The first point in my possible timeline above is the one major point that people seem to be forgetting, or that seems to be fueling the major fires of opinions.

My interpretations (my opinions) of the various and sundry threads where this continues to crop up is this:

NOBODY lacks compassion and empathy for the incredible loss suffered by Kelli. Nobody! EVERYONE wanted to help her out. NOBODY wanted to help because of some nefarious motive to increase site traffic. YES there were issues, and YES they were blown up into everyone's face. BuT darnit all! I feel like I'm standing in a rain of sewage that is serving absolutely no purpose except to render all participants unpleasant to be around, and all web sites associated in the same way.

If YOU THINK that Rich had nefarious motives, then GO AWAY from here and never come back! If you don't like the guy or his site, then take your business elsewhere. Why stay and pollute the place? "Examine your motives" figure out what you actually want to accomplish with your posts. If it's just an emotional reaction and a knee-jerk response, go jerk your knee elsewhere and come back later when you feel you can re-examine what is upsetting you to see if you can figure out what the motives were behind what is bothering you.

MY MOTIVE in posting this is roughly analogous to a septic-tank-technician... called to fix the exploding monster before the entire universe is polluted. If you're going to only spew invective, go away.

Again, if you think this place is run by a nasty horrible monster trying to profit off a bereaved mother, then go away and you'll never be bothered by it again.

 

[dragonflyreptiles]

Thanks Wendy. Maybe even within all the crap, there is still a gem to be found.

Maybe but how many people will wade shoulder deep in crap to find the true gem?

 

[WebSlave]

Maybe but how many people will wade shoulder deep in crap to find the true gem?

The crap will evaporate if people will allow it to. That is their choice to make.

But it can't be covered up, it has to go away on it's own.

This really was only between Chris and I. But it appears that perhaps ill conceived choices were made to make this otherwise. Some things are just not easily satisfactorily accomplished when cheering sections for both contestants are involved. It gets them both painted into a corner with crap all around, and neither is going to want to take the first steps necessary to get them both out of the corners and disappoint the cheerleaders on their side.

Sorry, not a very good analogy, but I couldn't think of a good one using gladiators.......

 

[Rebel Dragons]

STOP PLEASE!!!!


This is beyond trival bull**** at this point. There is so much more to life..........

After Kelli posted in the sound off forum, I talked with her on the phone for hours last night. After we hung up I cried for a solid hour. I just could not get control of myself. Then to come home and read this garbage is too much.

We drove to Texas today to visit some family and when I got home, oh about 2 hours ago I had a message on the machine telling me to start shopping for a plane ticket back home.

Life is too damn short to be argueing of this ****. My mother is 48 and is going to be leaving behind myself, a 20 yr old, 17 yr old, 16 yr old and 14 yr old.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
What is above is what matters. All the garbage and **** flinging will over soon and everyone will have moved on to a new topic. Hayden will not be forgotten, my mom won't be forgotten. But all this other garbage will be.

So many of y'all need a bitch slap in the face with a dose of reality.

I just got mine.

Rich ,point away on my post if you must. I certainly don't want to be seen as a person who gets away with something someone else didn't. And I certainly don't want to have to read the thread that would follow if I did.

 

[KelliH]

Goodbye

First off, everyone knows how aggressive Chris is, and 100 percent business oriented on top of that. No one would like to think that anyone would take your unfortunate situation and turn it into an advantage for themselves. I believe that would be sickening beyond belief. When I saw Chris going into an apparent advertising campaign to drive people to his new forum site for the Hammack auctions, it raised questions in my mind. There was the banner ad, then the text line ads, then posting on the Leopard Gecko Discussion forum itself. I'm not sure exactly when it was that questions began forming, but they did, nonetheless. Questions such as why hold the auctions on an obscure message board on Chris's own site and try to draw people to it from a site with much more traffic, when setting up the auctions on FaunaClassifieds itself would have been the more practical way of handling it. When Lucille asked me if it would be OK to convert the Fauna Fund to the Hammack Fund, it was done instantly and already in a highly visible area of the site. I am not sure of the exact timing, but I believe it took place pretty much concurrently with the auctions on Chris's site. What purpose is served by advertising an auction on a much less traveled site yet have to draw people there from another site and force the new visitors to register in order to participate there? For such an effort, what would have been the most logical, most effective, and easiest way to handle it? So why was it done the hard way? What was to be gained by doing it that way? WHO was to gain by doing it that way? Personally I had nothing to gain at all by the auctions being held on FaunaClassifieds. The traffic was already there, and the auctions were going to be drawing from that already existing traffic, which was substantial. There was already a huge following in the Leopard Gecko Discussion forum that such an auction would draw from, and it would have been a simple matter to have those already registered members participating in an auction already on site. So I do ask you, what was to be gained, and by whom, to do it the hard way? Those are the kinds of questions that were being raised, and quite frankly I didn't have any good answers, only uncomfortable ones. Chris told me that the auction plan had been discussed among several people when the news hit. Not ONE of them came to me to ask me about setting up the auctions on FC. Not one. Now why is that? They chose, instead, to do it the hard way. Why?

There is more, and Rich, you are welcome to post it all if you so choose. I think that pretty much says it all though.

I am now going to be leaving Fauna. I am so very grateful and full of love for those that have donated to the Hayden Fund these past days. As I said in previouly, that money enabled me to pay for the beautiful service and funeral I gave him, my last physical gift to him. I do not want anyone to feel guilty anymore, please, no more hatred, no more of that. Anyone that has the need to contact me has my info, and it can also be found on my website. Rich, you may ban me if you so choose, doesn't matter because I will not be back. If there is any money owed to me for my banner ad, no need to return it. I do not want it, really.

I am now going to attempt to get back to my life, which is very ****ed up right now. If there is anything I want people here to gain from all this is this: Fauna Classifieds is not important. Mack Snows are not important. Who has the biggest and most visited reptile site on the internet is not important. You all know what is really important, I don't have to tell you. But I will anyway. Love is important, peace is important, and compassion is important.

I will leave you all with this verse. It will be engraved on Hayden's tombstone. He had made a T-shirt and wrote this on the back of it just a few days before he died. Ironic that a 13 year old realized all these things that some of the "adults" here can't seem to grasp.

When personality is scar tissue
it travels South with disuse.
I'm subtle, like a lion's cage
such a cautious display.

Remember, take hold of your time here.
Give some meanings to the means
To your end

 

[Lucille]

Kelli;

I would hope you would reconsider and stay, please think about continuing to make Fauna your home;
Mike, I'm so sorry about your Mom, as I was sorry to hear about Hayden. There is a lot of sorrow here. I think your Mom has a terrific son, you are empathetic and have a hold on the real things in life...

Whatever imperfections we have, and all of us do,we should try each day, when we rise, to vow to pay more attention to what is real and precious to us.

If we slip that day, then the next morning, we should try once again. None are perfect, but each day we need to make the time to have more of what is precious, which are those who are important to us.

 

[Mike Greathouse]

Kelli,
I too hope that you will reconsider. Fauna benefits from your presence here. I am not a "gecko" person, but it is very apparent that you have made a lasting impact here.

Whatever reasons are guiding your decisions, I trust that you will follow your heart and do what you feel is the right thing. Regardless of your decision, you have my best wishes.

 

[Bill_Leverton]

There is more, and Rich, you are welcome to post it all if you so choose. I think that pretty much says it all though.

I am now going to be leaving Fauna. I am so very grateful and full of love for those that have donated to the Hayden Fund these past days. As I said in previouly, that money enabled me to pay for the beautiful service and funeral I gave him, my last physical gift to him. I do not want anyone to feel guilty anymore, please, no more hatred, no more of that. Anyone that has the need to contact me has my info, and it can also be found on my website. Rich, you may ban me if you so choose, doesn't matter because I will not be back. If there is any money owed to me for my banner ad, no need to return it. I do not want it, really.

I am now going to attempt to get back to my life, which is very ****ed up right now. If there is anything I want people here to gain from all this is this: Fauna Classifieds is not important. Mack Snows are not important. Who has the biggest and most visited reptile site on the internet is not important. You all know what is really important, I don't have to tell you. But I will anyway. Love is important, peace is important, and compassion is important.

I will leave you all with this verse. It will be engraved on Hayden's tombstone. He had made a T-shirt and wrote this on the back of it just a few days before he died. Ironic that a 13 year old realized all these things that some of the "adults" here can't seem to grasp.

When personality is scar tissue
it travels South with disuse.
I'm subtle, like a lion's cage
such a cautious display.

Remember, take hold of your time here.
Give some meanings to the means
To your end

OMFG See what all this crap caused I hope Each and everyone of you are PROUD OF YOURSELFS......

 

[KelliH]

Mike,

I thank you for your kind words but remember this: It is the people that make an online community what it is. The community does not make the people. And where the good, knowlegable folks go, others will follow.

Peace.

 

[dragonflyreptiles]

Kelli, I wish you would change your mind and continue to be a part of fauna and its community.

 

[Bill_Leverton]

If it ever occurred to anybody, Maybe she would come back if this crap stopped NOW !!!!!!!!......She has lot on her plate and don't need this right now.......

 

[KelliH]

Wendy-

Thanks but please read my above post to Mike. Also, Hayden's last name was not Hammack. Thanks and bless you-
Kelli

 

[Wilomn]

You know what? Kelli, YOU should stay. laura, YOU should go. GO be Chris' little step and fetch it, it suits you well.

As for all the rest, NONE OF IT MAKES A BIT OF DIFFERENCE.

One day, maybe soon maybe not, we will ALL be gone from this particular plane of existence and once we're gone all that we've done physically will begin to fade and eventually be just memories of those who knew us well, those who loved us best, those we touched. Once THEY are gone, so to are we.

There is NOTHING permanent.

All the bitching and sniping and backstabbing and looking for ulterior motives is just BULLSH$T.

A BUNCH of you really should be ashamed of yourselves. As often as I refer to this place as a playground I NEVER thought I would see such childish action by so many.

laura, YOU said that "the leopard gecko community" knew and was planning something before anyone here had done anything. Those may not be your exact words but that is the gist of it. What is it with you? Some sort of contest or something? It's not Leo Keepers against all other Herp keepers is it? It's JUST YOU, isn't it? I surely hope so.

All these imaginary divisions, leo keepers, site owners, what-the-hell-ever group OTHERS ASSign someone else to. SCREW that. SOME of us belong to NO group and participate in any group WE choose to. I've got less than a dozen leos, does that make me less of a person than someone with several hundred? Why? WHO THE HELL PUT YOU, laura, IN CHARGE?

There are times when folks, ALL of them, should rally round and be supportive of the ones who need it. And I don't mean for a deal gone bad. I mean life changing ordeals such as Kelli's son and Mike's mom.

Some of you people simply DISGUST me.

Kelli, I personally will miss you if you are not here. It's NOT all about Rich or anyone else, not you not me not Lucille, not even laura. It's what WE, all combined together, make out of our merging of pasts and beliefs and experiances that makes this a GOOD place; not a perfect one, but a good one none-the-less.

Maybe it's just me. I don't see the need for the competition that some of you seem to thrive on. Who friggin' cares what site gets more hits or has more members. IS it that important to warrant all the crap that's been spewed the last couple of days? I seriously doubt Rich gets that much in the way of sales from this site. I seriously doubt he gives a rat's patootie about anyone elses site. Is THIS what bothers some of you so? That he has stated he doesn't care and YOU don't think he's telling the truth? BUGGER OFF then. NO ONE is making you stay.

Where's the bloody DUMBASS Icon when I need it.

GROW the heck up, the lot of you.

 

[ms_terese]

OMFG See what all this crap caused I hope Each and everyone of you are PROUD OF YOURSELFS......

Geez, Bill, what a way to calm an emotional situation. *sighs* (Nothing personal, Bill, just wondering why everyone seems to have exposed nerves this week.)

Kelli, at this time you need to do anything and everything you can think of to bring you some measure of peace and comfort. If that means leaving Fauna, so be it. Do know that you'll be missed here, and you'll be welcome back at any time.

As I said in another thread, I'm not "in the loop" on the recent insider issues, nor do I want to be. However, I've figured out enough to know that false assumptions have been made, conclusions have been jumped to, harsh words have been said, hearts have been broken, and a pretty decent river could be running off the tears that have been shed.

I hope as your heart heals, you can look back at the actions of all the people that you feel have let you down, examine the circumstances, and be open to seeing motivations other than those that appear to you right now.

Fauna is a good community, and its collective heart has wrapped around you since your loss of Hayden. Please understand that the best of intentions sometimes go awry.

God love ya, Kelli....I hope your journey through the grief is rapid.

 

[CRGriffin]

Wendy-

Thanks but please read my above post to Mike. Also, Hayden's last name was not Hammack. Thanks and bless you-
Kelli

Kelli I am sorry about that, I didn't know that his name Hayden Putteet until after the "Hammack" fund was created. I am truly sorry for not getting more information before asking for the auctions thus giving the Fund the incorrect name which appears disrepectful but it was not intended that way at all.

I just hate that all of this conflict while you were going through a tradegy that no parent should ever have to go through went this far and that it had to all be posted out in the open like this.

 

[CRGriffin]

opps I forgot my husband was logged in reading what I was trying to tell him about, this is me, Wendy

 

[KelliH]

I'll try harder, I'm sorry.

I just want Hayden back and that's all I want and I can't have it and I am very confused and pissed off and messed up and in pain and I am sorry I made it worse here. I shouldn't even be posting here on this it just makes me feel worse and please I hope nobody thinks less of me for it.

 

[Cheryl Marchek AKA JM]

Kelli,
I never would have met you had you not come to this site and been a bright light in what is often a mess of bickering and back biting.

I'm glad to know you~ even though I don't know you well.

I have no words to help heal your pain. There are no words. No parent should have to go through this. I'm so genuinly sorry for your pain. I find myself in tears just thinking how badly you must hurt, and praying I never have the expierience to truly understand your pain. I wish I could comfort you, hold your hand, wipe your face and tell you it will be "okay". I can't do that~ but please know my thoughts and prayers will be with you for quite some time.

God Bless,
Cheryl