Why must things be Sugar coated?

[Mooing Tricycle]

Why do people LIKE to be in a sugar coated protective shell when they are members of forums online?

This forum has a reputation, everyone knows it, but i dont think its a BAD one, so much as a "you need to have thick skin to play over in THAT sandbox!" ( which i personally think is a good thing, you know people wont be fake towards you, and will tell you straight up) This forum is also known for its WEALTH of information, and its many extremely experienced members. And Is also known for its members ability to root out the scumbags of this hobby and warn those of us, who otherwise would not know better.

Why would people choose to be in a protective happy eggshell over something like Fauna?

I just wonder.

Feel free to respond, or not. Answer, or pose another question. I dont mind.... But it would be interesting to see some of the members different responses.

I LOVE fauna, i love what it stands for and i love the people.

 

[Shadera]

I for one love and appreciate the (sometimes) brutal honesty of this site. It's a refreshing escape from all the other places I've hung out in the past.

 

[deborahbroadus]

Why do people LIKE to be in a sugar coated protective shell when they are members of forums online?

This forum has a reputation, everyone knows it, but i dont think its a BAD one, so much as a "you need to have thick skin to play over in THAT sandbox!" ( which i personally think is a good thing, you know people wont be fake towards you, and will tell you straight up) This forum is also known for its WEALTH of information, and its many extremely experienced members. And Is also known for its members ability to root out the scumbags of this hobby and warn those of us, who otherwise would not know better.

Why would people choose to be in a protective happy eggshell over something like Fauna?

I just wonder.

Feel free to respond, or not. Answer, or pose another question. I dont mind.... But it would be interesting to see some of the members different responses.

I LOVE fauna, i love what it stands for and i love the people.

I wouldn't call it a "sugar-coated, protective eggshell"

I am aware that some think that this kind of behavior (spewing venom, cussing, insulting, and stalking) is normal, and some just LIKE this kind of behavior (go figure). I believe that the reputation that Fauna has HURTS it to some degree. Even the people that come for help are abused. Some of us are just not into spewing venom and hurtful insults just because we are having a bad day or don't like someone.

I, personally, don't want to be called anything other than my name, so if that means that I want to live in a "sugar-coated, protective eggshell, so be it. I also don't seen the need to read pages of insults aimed at anyone by people that just don't like them for their own personal reasons or just have a habit of typing abusive posts.

I think a lot of people feel this way, judging by the fact that so many forums have popped up and they DON'T allow this kind of behavior and they are operating successfully and new members are joining. Personally, if I don't like someone, I leave them alone. I think a lot of the abuse that goes on here is totally unnecessary and as I have seen, so do a lot of other people and they have voiced it, so I know I am not alone in feeling this way.

My question is why do people feel the need to hurt others? I am not talking about hunting the "bad guys" but even the good guys are abused...where are the controls?

 

[Mooing Tricycle]

I will firstly address that The only reason i posted this thread, was not because it was anything more than, seeing peoples comments lately about "fauna is going to crap , Blah blah blah" and that i just strongly disagree. Its not intended TOWARDS any one particular person. Now that thats out of the way!!!

Deb. I think that a General overall negative attitude towards things, may get negative responses. BUT, to that * so that i dont see someone try to twist that into "well thats why you have negative people joining fauna" ( because thatll just be a BS response, and im calling it out now) people here are not just mean, to be mean. Most everyone is pretty dang friendly. Even those you wouldnt suspect it to be so.
Its a response to an attitude portrayed online, ( immediately calling the site a bunch of idiots is one good response, or generalizing the population of the site to, you all do so and so! or whatever...) Insults are not taken well here! lol
If someone comes on this site, asks for help, gets a FLAT response, and then gets mad because it didnt have a damn smiley after it... well they can suck it up or go elsewhere * as far as im concerned*, why do people feel the need to jump immediately to thinking a response to their post HELPING THEM is anything but it is? This happened very recently....

This is the protective happy bubble that i HATE seeing, people need a smiley or they think someone online is being mean when in fact, theyre just being blunt, or... normal ( THEMSELVES, OH MY GOODNESS PEOPLE ARE REAL HERE???)

I am not HAPPYYYY all the time, i dont pretend to be, and i really dont act it in person hardly ever, maybe exciteable and just in a good mood, but i dont do fake
*A note on the swearing/cursing thing....* I Swear. ALL the time. Does that make me a bad person? and Ugly person? Yet... ill do anything i can for a friend, absolutely. Hrm, I spose you gotta get to know me then!. I Cant STAND when someone tells me to "smile" or "why not smiling? Bad day?". And then gets mad when i say, " Nah, im good, thanks!".... Why do i have to smile to be happy? Or be in a good mood? Why do i have to SHOW im in a good mood... when i AM being nice? I dont get that.... Why do people ASSUME im in a bad mood if im not smiling, or being uber friendly? Damn Eggshells.

Ive asked for help NUMEROUS times on this site, even some pretty silly NOOB stuff, Like... a nose rub. I never got one single negative response?

People are upfront with me, have even told me im flat out wrong, but yet, still did so in a fairly respectful manner.. I didnt see it as anything but them just saying, hey dude... youre wrong! Maybe because im respectful in return or maybe because my skin has grown thick ( thanks To Wes, and davey in that chat room! HAR!) , and dont take immediate offense. I dunno.... Maybe its because i try to give everyone the level of respect i would like myself. I dont think of anyone below me. And i dont think of them lower because they are different than myself.

 

[WebSlave]

I'm still in my busy season with my animals, but my intention is to run this site the way I want it to be, and to hell with what everyone else wants out of it. I have tried to accommodate as many people as possible (including me, concerning the survival of this site as the goal) with one change after another, and it has just never worked out.

I thought some people would be beneficial here because of (or in spite of) their personalities and how that helps to root out the bad guys in the BOI. But they apparently cannot limit their actions to those apparent bad guys where such actions are needed. They act that way towards EVERYONE in every forum they frequent. Those people will soon be gone from here. Or perhaps limited to the few forums where their personalities will be compatible, and sparing the rest of the site from such things. As an example, I basically bent over backwards to try to get Wes to fit in here, and tried everything I could to get him to be a valuable asset to this site. Once I became convinced that he was not able to do that, then he was made gone. There are others in the cross hairs. Some have been issued warnings, and others are about to be. People who appear to be trolls, ARE trolls as far as I am concerned.

Yeah, it may hurt traffic in that some people come here for the entertainment value only. But I personally am not happy with what this site has become and intend to end it. I tried that a while back, but went TOO hard line, too quickly, with the change, so this time around I am going to be a bit more gradual about it. So if yet another change proves to be the death knell of this site, because many people only WANT the entertainment value, then so be it. Cheap thrills watching the gladiators and lions fighting was not my intention with this site, and it is not going to be that way, or it can just go ahead and die.

No, I'm not going to kill off the freedom of expression here. Just the members who take it to extremes to the detriment of everyone else.

I'm tired of being embarrassed that I run this joint. So it can either shape up, or I'm pulling the plug.

 

[Mooing Tricycle]

I'm still in my busy season with my animals, but my intention is to run this site the way I want it to be, and to hell with what everyone else wants out of it. I have tried to accommodate as many people as possible (including me, concerning the survival of this site as the goal) with one change after another, and it has just never worked out.

I thought some people would be beneficial here because of (or in spite of) their personalities and how that helps to root out the bad guys in the BOI. But they apparently cannot limit their actions to those apparent bad guys where such actions are needed. They act that way towards EVERYONE in every forum they frequent. Those people will soon be gone from here. Or perhaps limited to the few forums where their personalities will be compatible, and sparing the rest of the site from such things. As an example, I basically bent over backwards to try to get Wes to fit in here, and tried everything I could to get him to be a valuable asset to this site. Once I became convinced that he was not able to do that, then he was made gone. There are others in the cross hairs. Some have been issued warnings, and others are about to be. People who appear to be trolls, ARE trolls as far as I am concerned.

Yeah, it may hurt traffic in that some people come here for the entertainment value only. But I personally am not happy with what this site has become and intend to end it. I tried that a while back, but went TOO hard line, too quickly, with the change, so this time around I am going to be a bit more gradual about it. So if yet another change proves to be the death knell of this site, because many people only WANT the entertainment value, then so be it. Cheap thrills watching the gladiators and lions fighting was not my intention with this site, and it is not going to be that way, or it can just go ahead and die.

No, I'm not going to kill off the freedom of expression here. Just the members who take it to extremes to the detriment of everyone else.

I'm tired of being embarrassed that I run this joint. So it can either shape up, or I'm pulling the plug.

I see what you are saying rich.

For one, And i dont know if i speak for others here or not, but i think that The freedom of expression here is what makes fauna such a great place. Maybe not the exremes, I agree wholeheartedly in that aspect, i think there should be some level of control, because yes, quite frankly people can get out of hand. But the fact that you dont delete threads when a little bubble of a problem pops up, instead of letting it sort itself out is a great thing. It gives this site more power in the fact that... if someone starts to show their true colors, they will hang themselves if given the rope. I like the higher set standards of our peers in regards to how one does business, and presents themselves online here.

 

[WebSlave]

I see what you are saying rich.

For one, And i dont know if i speak for others here or not, but i think that The freedom of expression here is what makes fauna such a great place. Maybe not the exremes, I agree wholeheartedly in that aspect, i think there should be some level of control, because yes, quite frankly people can get out of hand. But the fact that you dont delete threads when a little bubble of a problem pops up, instead of letting it sort itself out is a great thing. It gives this site more power in the fact that... if someone starts to show their true colors, they will hang themselves if given the rope. I like the higher set standards of our peers in regards to how one does business, and presents themselves online here.

Yes, I agree. But that is only appropriate in the BOI (and perhaps HELL), but the rest of the site needs to have that sort of crap left out of it. I'm waiting to see how the upgrade can help me in this regard, because the newer version has a native version of something like the warning system already built in. If the new code allows it, my intention is to lower the ban level for warning points, and make the boot in the rear permanent. No fines, no amnesties, just out of here for good. The site mods will (and do now) have the power to ban members for variable durations on the spot for any infractions they deem suitable for behavior modification.

Speaking of which, I believe I am going to drop the separate moderators in the separate forums and go with site mods only. Possibly adding one or more in the process. Nothing against those people already in those forum mod positions, it's just that I need to streamline things here, and this seems like one way to do that.

 

[Mooing Tricycle]

I for one love and appreciate the (sometimes) brutal honesty of this site. It's a refreshing escape from all the other places I've hung out in the past.

I think the Honesty is a big thing! and that its a pretty integral part of this site! I appreciate it greatly too, Good or Bad

 

[BryonsBoas]

I don't sugar coat anything. I really don't support or use the Politically correct crap either. I call it as I see it. Some days I'll use better judgment on how word a post , some days I straight shoot it as I think it. Not everyone agrees with what I say or how I say it but whoever I'm speaking to knows exactly where they stand with me or where I stand on that subject.

I'm a member of another site that likes the sugar coating. I RARELY ever post there since the mods have free reign to change or edit member's posts as they see fit. I don't like it so I don't support it by not going there.

Your going to have spiteful people no matter what forum you go to. As they get removed from one , they move to another. The ignore feature and report a post feature are great tools for expediting them to the door.

HOWEVER .... what some may think is trollish behavior , isn't. I've been in disagreements on this site that some folks from the lands of sweet & honey think is trollish behavior. If I see info posted that I feel is wrong or could cause potential harm , death or vet visits due to injury , I'll argue that its wrong till the cows come.

I am the way the way I am on here and in the real world. I've been here so long due to the ability for me to be bluntly honest and say whats on my mind and be able to own the words I type , not words that mods decide I should have said. If folks want sugar coated , I am NOT the guy to talk to.

 

[The BoidSmith]

The problem is some people think freedom of expression is being able to say whatever they like in whichever circumstance which is a falacy.

 

[dsirkle]

It is sometimes a fine line between straight talk and Jerry Springer, but it is a tangible one.

 

[KelliH]

Why do people LIKE to be in a sugar coated protective shell when they are members of forums online? This forum has a reputation, everyone knows it, but i dont think its a BAD one, so much as a "you need to have thick skin to play over in THAT sandbox!" ( which i personally think is a good thing, you know people wont be fake towards you, and will tell you straight up) This forum is also known for its WEALTH of information, and its many extremely experienced members. And Is also known for its members ability to root out the scumbags of this hobby and warn those of us, who otherwise would not know better. Why would people choose to be in a protective happy eggshell over something like Fauna? I just wonder. Feel free to respond, or not. Answer, or pose another question. I dont mind.... But it would be interesting to see some of the members different responses. I LOVE fauna, i love what it stands for and i love the people.

I think, in many cases, it isn't that people want to be in a sugar protective shell so to speak. I think it is more that most people like to be active posters at a place where they feel comfortable making a post without worry of being ridiculed or insulted. I'm not saying that all the active posters on Fauna make personal attacks or belittle others, but that type of behavior does seem to happen here on a regular basis.

Freedom of expression is a great thing on any forum, and intelligent discussion should be encouraged. But threads that deteriorate into knock down drag out exchanges of insults and trolling are not worthwhile for many people, that kind of stuff is a turn off. Of course it is going to happen on any forum, but good moderation can make this uncommon. So I guess what I am trying to say is that personally I enjoy the freedom of expression here on Fauna (I like the site or I would not bother to come here) but I do not enjoy seeing people constantly get ridiculed. That has been common here for quite a few years and it just brings this place down and has caused many people to participate less and less.

No, I'm not going to kill off the freedom of expression here. Just the members who take it to extremes to the detriment of everyone else. I'm tired of being embarrassed that I run this joint. So it can either shape up, or I'm pulling the plug.

That's good news.

 

[Cat_72]

The thing about sugar coating is.....there's usually a reason for it.

Often, something that needs to be sugarcoated to be swallowed is much more bitter than things that aren't, when you get right down to it.

 

[kellysballs]

I do agree that sometimes people get carried away here. However I love this site. I come here first when I am looking for first hand info and just to browse around.

Although other sites claim to be "more friendly" I can tell you I have seen the mob mentality way more there than here. I would rather be here where people can have there own opinions.

 

[MauiMoon]

Why do people LIKE to be in a sugar coated protective shell when they are members of forums online?

So they don't get kicked off???

 

[Mooing Tricycle]

So they don't get kicked off???

Thats not quite the meaning of what i wrote. Though, people might sugar coat things to NOT get kicked off, sure, that id get. But its not my intended question.

People are too sensitive. I think. And i dont get why they like everything to be said super nicely to them. I think its pretty cheesy actually.

I like to be told when im wrong, or when im being bothersome, or... if something is a stupid idea or whatever. So long as you are being truthful.

Think im doing something wrong? tell me. Dont glaze it over with "oh this is alright, and its not too bad" Thats cheese. i dont need that. Say what you mean. Just because someone says something straightforward, and bluntly does not mean they are being a big ole MEANIE to me!
I like people to be able to be who they are towards me without worrying about if they MIGHT hurt my feelings. So thats why i dont get why other people need that fluff.


( the obvious answer to some of this is... not everyone is going to be thick skinned, But i sure as hell wish they were. )

 

[Mooing Tricycle]

I think, in many cases, it isn't that people want to be in a sugar protective shell so to speak. I think it is more that most people like to be active posters at a place where they feel comfortable making a post without worry of being ridiculed or insulted. I'm not saying that all the active posters on Fauna make personal attacks or belittle others, but that type of behavior does seem to happen here on a regular basis.

Freedom of expression is a great thing on any forum, and intelligent discussion should be encouraged. But threads that deteriorate into knock down drag out exchanges of insults and trolling are not worthwhile for many people, that kind of stuff is a turn off. Of course it is going to happen on any forum, but good moderation can make this uncommon. So I guess what I am trying to say is that personally I enjoy the freedom of expression here on Fauna (I like the site or I would not bother to come here) but I do not enjoy seeing people constantly get ridiculed. That has been common here for quite a few years and it just brings this place down and has caused many people to participate less and less.

Youve made really great points.

But i dont see why someone cant feel comfortable in a place where... well... people might be a bit more honest. Dosnt it make something work out better in the long run? I can see necessary tact and such, but to a degree. Some people need a couple kicks in the shins to get the idea in some respect. You know what i mean? sort of? Anyway... Tact definitely is needed.

Like for instance... and this helps with what im trying to say i suppose... is there are some sites out there that also do NOT approve of even a negative comment about a user. Say you had a bad transaction.... and a member of that forum was scamming people... wouldnt you want everyone to know??? But no... people delete the posts, and pretend nothing ever happened. I mean... Come on.

When does the nicey nicey end, and where does reality kick in?

 

[Mooing Tricycle]

The problem is some people think freedom of expression is being able to say whatever they like in whichever circumstance which is a falacy.

I agree...
I think freedom of expression has limits. There are plenty of ways to say what you want to say, without degrading the quality of what is said, or the other person.

 

[MikeCurtin]

For the most part, I see PASSION, and not necessarily mean spiritedness. Although we find quite a bit of mean spirited passion on the BOI, most of the other sub-forums here are for the most part friendly. I think the ability for members here to let there passion shine through is one of the best qualities here on Fauna. I also think the mods do a pretty good job curtailing most negative posting before it goes too far (with the exception of some extra freedom on the BOI).

When I see members calling each other out for poor husbandry or ethics, I think about the other sites I've seen where people post pics of their animals in obviously sub-optimal conditions...to put it mildly...only to get no responses or "nice snake...have you had any problems with the housing?", after which the subject is dropped. For me, that's a huge draw.

 

[Mooing Tricycle]

When I see members calling each other out for poor husbandry or ethics, I think about the other sites I've seen where people post pics of their animals in obviously sub-optimal conditions...to put it mildly...only to get no responses or "nice snake...have you had any problems with the housing?", after which the subject is dropped. For me, that's a huge draw.

THAT is a HUGE thing for me! Im glad someone else mentioned this!

There are SO many places out there that people will post pictures of... not just an old shed or urate or something ( Everyone that keeps snakes knows you dont ALWAYS get to that stuff right away! it dosnt mean your animals are kept sub par at all. ) or an enclosure that dosnt quite meet YOUR standards , but im talking FILTHY caging, and Horrible stuck sheds and get comments like you said, and then nothing happens. Where do standards get set?

What if people have tried comments like you said, to nicely point out caging, and their posts dont change? what then? It bothers me.