Mythical Man

[Lucille]

Sigh, no one showed up so I took out the trash myself. However, I'm sure there are alternate uses to which men could be put after the trash is took out....

 

[Lucille]

This thread has lain fallow for a while now. I noticed that when one is looking at a thread, if one scrolls all the way down, similar subject matter threads are listed. So I was looking at a thread about Mythical Dragonz, and lo and behold there is my thread on the Mythical Man listed on the bottom of the page!!!

 

[Mistyck]

LOL, Go figure, Do they exist? Anyone?

 

[Southern Wolf]

We only partly exist. I started reading this thread from the beginning until I realized Wes had been banned.. .then I started looking at the dates then scrolled to the end of the thread to see who bumped an ancient thread.

I do however fit the first three.

 

[Mistyck]

So at least one man isn't totally Mythical...Anyone else?

 

[Southern Wolf]

that's as far as I read... I dont know if others apply to me or not... guess I could go read. Dont have anything better to do.

 

[Southern Wolf]

Ok... since I didn't have anything better to do. These are the requirements from the first page... lets see how I do.

Here is a game where we try to list the attributes of the perfect man. One item at a time, we will try to construct a mythical male model of perfection. This construct may not ever be seen in reality, but as they say, our reach should exceed our grasp......

1) Can stop and ask for directions when lost.

OK, who's next?:...

Not only will I stop and ask... but I normally have a map and I know how to use it.

2) ALWAYS puts the toilet seat back down.....AND changes the roll when its empty!

I put both the seat and lid down every time.

Brings roses and chocolate even when it's NOT a special occasion.....

been there... done that. I have been guilty of sending roses to her work just because I started thinking about her that day. Im sure my CC company loved that purchase and the interest it brought them.

Is not afraid to say "I love you" in public.

When its true... then I dont mind saying it... but I wont say it unless and until I mean it.

Knows how to cook gourmet meals, does so without complaining, cleans up afterwards, and still has the energy to give an incredible massage (along with whatever else that might lead to.)

Does Chicken Paramagne (sp?) count? I even make the sauce from scratch. Normally takes me around an hour to get everything prepaired.

Never gives an affirmative answer when you ask if a particular pair of jeans makes you look fat.....

I claim to be crazy... not stoooopid. I'm kinda partial to quality time... and that's a good way to make it go away.

Actaully hears AND understands what you said before saying uh huh

Hmmmmm sometimes the understanding is the hard part... ya'll have a tendency to speak in a foreign language.

Has the ability to do laundry without turning any of it funny colors or shrinking it so it will only fit the dog, and actually DOES it!!

I live alone... I BETTER be able to wash my clothes without turning them colors and shrinking them!

Yes. One who will go shopping on Sunday Morning.......any further qualities y'all want to add? ...

Ummmm I dont do mornings unless they start around 12 noon.

How about one that doesn't think that appreciates the hours you spent planting flower bulbs, and doesn't consider them, "just something else to mow around"?

I have my own flower beds

And who actually will take you to a plant nursery, not fuss at the purchase of plants in pots with dirt going into his pristinely clean vacuumed truck when you buy 10 potted roses knowing there is no more space in the garden...

Hey they were on SALE!

Sounds like a fun outing to me...but dont get mad if I come home with more flowers than I have beds for.

Ok, how about one that can chase that pesky gopher out of your lawn without using anything that does more damage than than gopher?? (i.e. explosive devices and small machinery)

FAIL!!!! I'm thinking my 12ga shotgun may cause a little bit of damage. What can I say... Im a redneck.

I have less and less lawn as time goes by, so I would just sweetly ask that lawn damage done by such be turned into more new garden areas......


How about finding a guy who would actually take a whole day to help mulch the gardens?

Will be adding a fresh coat of mulch in the spring... who wants to help me. Gotta build some new beds too.

LOL, I'm glad you can come up with something positive out of the whole gopher thing...unfortunately, I see the this morning the gopher has returned, unharmed and armed for yet more digging!!

As far as the man spending all day mulching....heck, I'd just be happy if he didn't "accidentally" MOW flowers and turn THEM into mulch!!!

ooops... done this before... but they spouted thier heads outside of the beds.

I'd be happy to find a guy who LIKED going to reptile shows and pet shops.

Had one of those once, but I couldn't afford to keep him and he screwed around on me.......

Sounds like fun... and I'd probably be broke afterwards.

How about a guy who doesn't think that airing clothes out on the window is the same as washing them. Oh, and a guy who actually has a butt. So few guys actually have butts these days.

Hmmmm I think there is a butt back there.

o.K.You ladies have hit just about everything.... so how about a man that doesn't watch sports!!!! And LOVES anything you cook for him!!!

Best thing about sports season is when its over.

Not only loves sports, but will take me to the game with him instead of his buddies. Will talk openly about problems that affect the relationship as a whole. Someone that makes me laugh!! Intellectually stimulating with out the bravado.......Cute is fine, but it doesn't last.........

Im screwed

how about a man who isn't embarrassed to buy female products when he's out getting stuff?

Been there... done that... and would do it again.

I would settle for a guy who could refrain from whining like a puppy for a week straight when he has a cold.

That's why I live in the south.... its warm down here. It's December 31st and today it was 72* outside. Talk about nice!

 

[Lucille]

Hmmmm I think there is a butt back there.

You are, according to your answers, stacking up as a real treasure for some young lady.

Let's see pix to support your claims

 

[Southern Wolf]

You are, according to your answers, stacking up as a real treasure for some young lady.

Let's see pix to support your claims

You asked for it....

 

[Southern Wolf]

Im gonna get in soooo much trouble

 

[Lucille]

Ladeez and gemmuns, I was just gifted with a private pic viewing, and Kevin does indeed have a butt......

 

[Southern Wolf]

 

[Mistyck]

Nice answers to the questions Kevin. Sounds like you're the chivalrous type that some woman is going to be lucky to snatch up!

 

[polasian]

1 Can stop and ask for directions when lost.

No need, I never get lost. Or, on occasion I take accidental...I...I mean planned scenic detours (what?...then the women can't complain that we don't spend enough time together...).

2 ALWAYS puts the toilet seat back down.....

Why use the toilet for that when there's a perfectly good sink (my "mythical" woman would always leave the toilet seat up).

3 Is not afraid to say "I love you" in public.

I can't do that otherwise I'd loose street cred, yo .

4 Knows how to cook gourmet meals, does so without complaining, cleans up afterwards, and still has the energy to give an incredible massage (along with whatever else that might lead to.)

Are you looking for a servant or a significant other?

5 Actaully hears AND understands what you said before saying uh huh

If I cant understand what you're saying then that's on you....and, if I don't answer with at least "uh huh" then I'm "ignoring" you. Its a no win...uh huh

6 Never gives an affirmative answer when you ask if a particular pair of jeans makes you look fat.....

This is one of those times when blindly saying "uh huh" is dangerous.

7 Has the ability to do laundry without turning any of it funny colors or shrinking it so it will only fit the dog, and actually DOES it!!

The only reason we shrink & dye clothing is so that you won't ask us to do laundry again.

8 Yes. One who will go shopping on Sunday Morning.......

Women love to shop...so I let them do the honors (just be back in time to make me breakfast)

9 How about one that doesn't think that appreciates the hours you spent planting flower bulbs, and doesn't consider them, "just something else to mow around"?

I appreciate this very much...I can then go out and get you flowers at a whim .

10 Brings roses and chocolate even when it's NOT a special occasion.....

Please refer to #9...

11 And who actually will take you to a plant nursery, not fuss at the purchase of plants in pots with dirt going into his pristinely clean vacuumed truck when you buy 10 potted roses knowing there is no more space in the garden...

Lucille...I like you but its too soon to be throwing around the word "nursery."

12 Ok, how about one that can chase that pesky gopher out of your lawn without using anything that does more damage than than gopher?? (i.e. explosive devices and small machinery)

Naaaa...I like cute little furry animals...matter of fact I even enjoy playing games with them (like soccer).

13 How about finding a guy who would actually take a whole day to help mulch the gardens?

Sure...the backyard is a convenient place to dump excess cypress mulch.

14 I'd be happy to find a guy who LIKED going to reptile shows and pet shops.

Fine...I'll concede to this one.

15 How about a guy who doesn't think that airing clothes out on the window is the same as washing them.

A few sprays of febreze does wonders .

16 Oh, and a guy who actually has a butt. So few guys actually have butts these days.

I have a butt, but its damaged . When I was a kid I tripped & fell and now there's a crack on it .

17 so how about a man that doesn't watch sports!!!! And LOVES anything you cook for him!!!

A blind ageusic? Whatever floats your boat ...

18 Not only loves sports, but will take me to the game with him instead of his buddies.

If there are enough tickets then you're welcome to tag along (after all, someone needs to get the hot dogs during the time outs).

19 Will talk openly about problems that affect the relationship as a whole.

...uh huh

20 Someone that makes me laugh!!........

Knock Knock...

21 how about a man who isn't embarrassed to buy female products when he's out getting stuff?

Nope...if she tells me its that time of the month, I then skip to the store with a smile on my face thanking God the entire way .

22 I would settle for a guy who could refrain from whining like a puppy for a week straight when he has a cold.

I think whining about an illness is more valid then half the stuff you ladies whine about..."why oh why do I have to have my fathers toes? ...woe is me...woe is me..."

So...did I win?

DISCLAIMER
This is only in jest...well, most...err...some of it (I would never kick a gopher).

 

[deborahbroadus]

So...did I win?

DISCLAIMER
This is only in jest...well, most...err...some of it (I would never kick a gopher).

Couldn't quote the whole thing...but..


Oh, my Gawd!!!

 

[Lucille]

Lucille...I like you but its too soon to be throwing around the word "nursery."

Too late, I've already ordered wallpaper in cornsnake pink

You asked for it....

So, let's see the front now

 

[Southern Wolf]

So, let's see the front now

Dont bite off more than you can chew.... I hope you have vision insurance

 

[Lucille]

Y'all single Fauna ladies should check Kevin out .......

 

[SamanthaJane13]

how about a man who isn't embarrassed to buy female products when he's out getting stuff?

Or the guy who can gauge the on-set of PMS and runs out to buy the necessary chocolate while you're plotting his demise...or doesn't mind December raspberry runs when you're pregnant.

 

[SamanthaJane13]

Y'all single Fauna ladies should check Kevin out .......

I'm not his type.

I smoke like a sailor and curse like a chimney.

But he's a good friend and I love him for that!!!