Mythical Man

[SamanthaJane13]

No need, I never get lost. Or, on occasion I take accidental...I...I mean planned scenic detours (what?...then the women can't complain that we don't spend enough time together...).





Why use the toilet for that when there's a perfectly good sink (my "mythical" woman would always leave the toilet seat up).





I can't do that otherwise I'd loose street cred, yo .





Are you looking for a servant or a significant other?





If I cant understand what you're saying then that's on you....and, if I don't answer with at least "uh huh" then I'm "ignoring" you. Its a no win...uh huh





This is one of those times when blindly saying "uh huh" is dangerous.





The only reason we shrink & dye clothing is so that you won't ask us to do laundry again.





Women love to shop...so I let them do the honors (just be back in time to make me breakfast)





I appreciate this very much...I can then go out and get you flowers at a whim .





Please refer to #9...





Lucille...I like you but its too soon to be throwing around the word "nursery."





Naaaa...I like cute little furry animals...matter of fact I even enjoy playing games with them (like soccer).





Sure...the backyard is a convenient place to dump excess cypress mulch.





Fine...I'll concede to this one.





A few sprays of febreze does wonders .





I have a butt, but its damaged . When I was a kid I tripped & fell and now there's a crack on it .





A blind ageusic? Whatever floats your boat ...





If there are enough tickets then you're welcome to tag along (after all, someone needs to get the hot dogs during the time outs).





...uh huh





Knock Knock...





Nope...if she tells me its that time of the month, I then skip to the store with a smile on my face thanking God the entire way .





I think whining about an illness is more valid then half the stuff you ladies whine about..."why oh why do I have to have my fathers toes? ...woe is me...woe is me..."

So...did I win?

DISCLAIMER
This is only in jest...well, most...err...some of it (I would never kick a gopher).

Nick!!

I'm ashamed!!

I raised you better than that!!

 

[shinezilla]

If I cant understand what you're saying then that's on you....and, if I don't answer with at least "uh huh" then I'm "ignoring" you. Its a no win...uh huh

And when I respond with "uh huh" whenever you deny "ignoring" me whenever you say "uh huh"...
There's usually a rolling of the eyes involved with a of hidden message saying ... you were on Fauna

 

[Southern Wolf]

I'm not his type.

I smoke like a sailor and curse like a chimney.

But he's a good friend and I love him for that!!!

And I cant have her curseing at me like a chimney... it may make me want to burn some wood.

 

[Mistyck]

I smoke like a sailor and curse like a chimney.

Sorry I found that funny. Guess I shouldn't be sleep deprived and read at the same time.