Connie (Mrs. WebSlave)

Starting to get medical bills rolling in.

Connie's stay at the hospital when she had her surgery rang up a bill of $206,000.00. :ack2: :ack2: :ack2:

Fortunately Medicare/CHP health insurance took care of most of it.

I don't know what other associated bills will be showing up, since it seems that any doctor that sticks his or her head into your room sends you a bill for that. And I guess the surgeon's bill will be separate.

Can't wait to see what my ambulance ride, heart stent insertion, emergency room visit, and 3 day stay in intensive care comes to.

And there are Connie's chemo treatments.

Not sure why this had to happen to both Connie and I at the same time, but I do NOT appreciate God's sense of humor one least little bit.

Connie seems to be doing OK so far from her chemo treatment on Wednesday and that additional injection she got on Thursday. They said she may get flu like symptoms from it, and then likely bone and joint pain. The purpose of the injection is to help build up her white blood cells by stimulating the bone marrow. Not sure I know what that is all about. Heck, not sure I WANT to know. But puzzles me why they would be trying to stimulate cell growth during a chemo treatment. Seems to be counterintuitive to me. But what do I know? For all I know I had some brain cell death during my heart attack. :spinner03

Heck, i guess a few more monster medical bills and I'll be having another heart attack anyway. Takes a while before the eyes wander on over to the column that says "What you have to pay." By then, it could be too late.

But a word to the wise, don't get cancer if you don't have good health insurance. Probably not a good idea to have a heart attack then neither, I am guessing.
 
I am happy you and Connie, are doing okay. I have some suggestions, I can give you, for your medical bills. But, I would prefer to PM them, to you. Assuming, you want the suggestions.
 
Dyscophus antongilii said:
I am happy you and Connie, are doing okay. I have some suggestions, I can give you, for your medical bills. But, I would prefer to PM them, to you. Assuming, you want the suggestions.
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I am not sure yet what will come of the medical bills. I am hoping insurance will cover most of it, but honestly, I just don't know. Never been in this sort of predicament before.

So thanks, but for now i am just going to wait and see what happens.

Connie is beginning to get some aches and pains from that shot she got on Thursday. It was something called "Zarxio, 480 mcg." Evidently to help build up white blood cells during the chemo treatment process.
 
I am sorry to hear about this. I have two relatives battling cancer right now and many others who have already lost that battle. Hang in there Rich, and thank you for being here for all of us even during times like this. WIll
 
Monday was kind of rough. Connie has been having her cough again, but this time I think it is from that shot she had on Thursday. Or perhaps just the "chemo cough" I have read about. Or maybe both.

I already had an appointment with with my primary care physician for a followup on my heart attack, and Connie felt she might have an upper respiratory infection and wanted to see her too. So we wound up going in together. I have to say that the PCP seemed a while lot more empathetic than I thought she would be. And I was surprised to learn she had worked 12 years as an ER nurse. I thought she was just some kid fresh out of med school. I think Connie felt a lot better about her too. Connie had a couple of throat swabs to test for a flu or cold, and also had a nasal swab done to test her yet again for COVID. The flu and cold tests came back negative, but haven't heard anything about the COVID test yet.

Today (Tuesday) was a bit better. Connie still has her cough, but she felt like it might be getting better. We have an appointment tomorrow (Wednesday) with the medical oncologist Connie has been wanting to see. She is also scheduled for blood work, and possibly another chemo treatment. Not sure why the chemo treatments (supposedly this Wednesday and next), because the original schedule called for 6 treatments of 3 drugs 3 weeks apart. This would put her having chemo every Wednesday for a month. She had the three chemo drugs this past Wednesday (06-08, which was one week late because of my heart attack the previous week) so not sure why the additional treatments. Getting a bit concerned when we see goal posts being moved around without anyone telling us WHY. But the surgeon/oncologist who did the surgery on Connie has seemingly been this way from the beginning. She will answer questions when asked, but if you don't know the right questions to ask, she won't volunteer any information. That is just getting a bit irritating now.

It was hot outside today, with rain moving in for the afternoon, so besides getting some groceries delivered early, we really didn't do much. At least now I get to take a hike down to the mailbox and back every day. The yellow flies seem to be on the way out, but I am seeing more mosquitoes coming in for their shift.

Oh yeah, my PCP told me that for 1 month after my heart attack I am in a danger zone where another heart attack is more likely. Great....
 
I'm sorry to read of your ongoing dearth of info from Connie's surgical oncologist. My husband's had a lot of eye issues, and his surgical ophthalmologist is a lot like how you're describing Connie's person. He's super knowledgeable, extremely skilled in his field, and willing to answer questions but doesn't volunteer info, and if a person doesn't know what to ask they're not going to get answers. It's just unfortunate when patients and caregivers have to try and become their own expert.

Glad your yellow flies are abating. I HATE those things with a hatred reserved for them and fire ants and Lyme-disease-carrying deer ticks.

We are continuing to pray for Connie and for you.

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Connie had an injection today, and while there we decided to change oncologist. That is the short version. :)

A friend of ours was there too (Debbie, with her husband Sam), who are both going through their own cancer difficulties. They both have Dr. Tetreault and think very highly of him. So we spent some time on the parking lot talking with Debbie.

We actually had an appointment early on Wednesday with Tetreault, kind of a consultation concerning possibly switching from Dr. Ellison to him. Honestly, he definitely wasn't selling himself. Matter of fact, we kind of got the impression that he was, if anything, underselling himself. But he said it was our decision, and it is not at all unusual for any patient to switch doctors. Sometimes rather often.

So while Connie was undergoing the chemo treatment, I decided to just go sit out on the parking lot in the jeep. While there, I was stewing over the new found information that Connie would be undergoing chemo every week now. Three chems one week, then two weeks of one chem each, then back to the three chems. 3 chems, 1 chem, 1 chem, 3chems, each week. And as far as I know, one shot of that Zarxio every Thursday to increase white blood cell counts. I sure didn't like the idea of there not being any break in the chemo so Connie's body could try to recover a bit. So I decided to text Dr. Ellison to see if there was some alternative treatment that could put Connie back on the chemo just once every 3 weeks. Well, that conversation took an interesting turn. Evidently Ellison thought we had an appointment with HER this morning instead of Tetreault, and the impression I got was that it irked her. I mentioned that we felt we wanted to talk with another oncologist, and we felt that we just were not getting information in a timely fashion concerning Connie's treatment changes. Ellison said that IF we had kept our appointment with her this morning, that would have been explained to us. Frankly, I didn't find that believable. We should have been informed about this at least a week ago when the change was thrown at us. Besides that, as for the appointment, we had on paper that we had an appointment with Tetreault, not Ellison. Matter of fact, the office called Connie Tuesday night to confirm that appointment with Tetreault. So yeah, that just gave me a very odd feeling about this person who had Connie's health (and possibly her life) in her hands.

BTW, I did show the text conversation to Debbie, just as a sanity check to make sure I wasn't coming on too strong, or being way out in right field concerning my interpretation of how that conversation went.

Then to top that off, Connie has been having a pretty severe cough for quite a long time, so the nurse in the infusion room suggested getting a prescription for something for that cough. So he forwarded the request to Ellison to call in a prescription for a cough medication. Ellison just bounced it back saying that Connie needed to see her primary care physician about it and obviously wasn't going to call in the prescription.

Well, that pretty much settled it in my book.

So, today after Connie's shot, while still on the parking lot we just talked it over about changing doctor's and just walked back into the facility (Florida Cancer Specialists), talked to the office manager and made the doctor change request official.

Will that make things better? Heck, I sure hope so. But suppose that Ellison is Tetreault's daughter or something? :ack2:
 
I am truly sorry that Connie and you have been going through doctor- induced difficulties. It is a sadly familiar position to me. From what you are saying, you have made the wise choice. Undergoing something as complex and serious as cancer treatment is challenging enough, prima facie. It's crucial to be able to trust the medical people in charge of one's care and a crucial part of that trust is clear communication. Sounds like you were getting the defensive, antagonistic run-around aimed more at guarding the doctor than at actually helping further the patient's/family's understanding. I've heard that tune. You did the right thing.

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Well, interestingly enough, Connie got a phone call from Dr. Ellison this evening. Apparently to check in to see how she was doing. She has NEVER done that before.

And she also told Connie that the "tumor markers" being monitored had been reduced by 1,000% since the chemo treatments have started. Sure sounds like good news to me, but no idea what those "tumor markers" actually are. But heck, throw Connie and I some good news now and again. We sure could use it!

But does it seem just like a coincidence that Dr. Ellison called Connie this evening after what I said transpired above?

So I am not sure what is going on with that. :shrug01:

But if a puzzle comes with good news attached, heck, I will gladly take it.
 
Heck yeah! Good news is great, for sure. Highly suspicious timing, particularly if you gave lack of communications as a reason for changing doctors. Whatever, take the win and consider its manner of notification as a post-breakup call from an ex you are still glad you broke up with.

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Connie hasn't been feeling too well yesterday and into today, so far. Possibly side effects of the shot she got on Thursday. Yesterday she needed me to run to Walgreen's to get some meds for her. I told her I was heading out there, while she ran to the bathroom. Then I get a text from her asking me where I was. I told her "on the garage apron in the Jeep." She texts "Are you leaving?" I am embarrassed to say I lost my cool and went back to the house and yelled at her "WHAT DO YOU WANT?? Stop playing 20 questions with me!" She said she didn't realize I was leaving right away, and I was thinking, well, what else would I be doing sitting in the Jeep in front of the garage?

So I felt rotten all day long after that.

She was in bed nearly all day long, not really feeling very well. Last night she said she felt like her skin was on fire, but she didn't have any sort of temperature. I know she is looking to me for help, but what the heck do I know about what she is going through? I can make suggestions, but are they reasonable and valid suggestions? Or will they just make things worse? Would it be worse to offer nothing at all as a suggestion, maybe making her think I just don't care?

Of course, I feel like now I am watching her dying. What do I do when I feel like the nightmare begins when I wake up in the morning? Yeah, Valium time...

Yeah, maybe this is just a reaction to the drugs and it will pass. But, again, how the heck do I know? Maybe on days like this I just need to take enough valiums to put myself to sleep for the entire day too. Dreams are definitely a much nicer place to be now.

Connie asked me an odd question several days ago. She asked "Are you sorry that you survived your heart attack?" I thought for a moment, and then replied, "As long as you are still around, I need to be around to take care of you. After that, I really don't care what happens to me."
 
Often when my wife brings up something in her world that is bothering her, my immediate response is to try to solve the problem. That's not usually what she's looking for, and I feel bad that I didn't respond with what she needed, which is exactly the things you point out, Lucille.

I tend interpret this as a fundamental difference in world view between women and men (caring for someone vs defending them, or something like that), or the culture-driven "feminine" and "masculine" approaches at any rate. Whether that's accurate, or the most productive way to look at it, I don't know.

I've gotten somewhat better at responding with something like "is there anything I can do to help?" and then use her response to that to try to figure out if I should suggest something that involves testosterone and bad judgement or rather just give her a sympathetic smile and a hug and make her a cappuccino.
 
WebSlave said:
Last night she said she felt like her skin was on fire
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Suggestions:
Put some ice cubes and water in a bowl, then get a washcloth and dip it in and wipe her forehead and arms and etc. The cool may or may not help, but seeing you gently helping will help.

Go to the store and buy some of the best brand of ice cream they carry, and some Snickers bars. And some flowers. Bring her a tray with a scoop of ice cream in a bowl, a frozen Snicker's bar, and a flower in a little vase and tell her that you think she should cool down from the inside out. Just the fussing over her will help.

Be creative with stuff like this. All that your medical team is doing is very worth while, but you can certainly brighten the aches and pains and miseries that may come with the treatments by making creative little bright spots in her day.
 
I must disagree regarding the flowers due to issues of potential compromise, but on the other items and matters, I do agree.
 
Lucille said:
Sometimes, what people want is someone to listen, to acknowledge their feelings, to have someone listen to their distress. Not necessarily to solve issues or do something, but to understand.
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Connie telling me something is wrong is like waving a red PLEASE FIX IT flag in front of my face. Just my nature to want to fix something that is broken, I guess.

But you are probably right, even though it goes against my nature. Connie might tell me she is cold. Couple of solutions pop to my mind: (1) turn the heat up, or (2) put on a sweater. So I suggest them, but she will say, "No, I will be OK." I have to admit, it drives me right up a wall. Now if I had said "Don't worry about it, you will be OK" somehow I don't think that would be appreciated much, even though it resolves to the same lack of a simple obvious solution.
 
Lucille and John are spot on in my opinion.
It's a man's nature to want to fix, the woman's to be understood. Just being there and listening can be more than enough.
sometimes we just want to vent and complain, I really like John's "is there anything I can do to help?", he's figured it out ;)
 
Lucille said:
Suggestions:
Put some ice cubes and water in a bowl, then get a washcloth and dip it in and wipe her forehead and arms and etc. The cool may or may not help, but seeing you gently helping will help.
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As per the above post, I asked her that, but she declined. "No, I will be OK".

Lucille said:
Go to the store and buy some of the best brand of ice cream they carry, and some Snickers bars. And some flowers. Bring her a tray with a scoop of ice cream in a bowl, a frozen Snicker's bar, and a flower in a little vase and tell her that you think she should cool down from the inside out. Just the fussing over her will help.

Be creative with stuff like this. All that your medical team is doing is very worth while, but you can certainly brighten the aches and pains and miseries that may come with the treatments by making creative little bright spots in her day.
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Wouldn't fly with Connie. She used to like getting flowers, but got distressed at just watching them wilt and die. People tried sending her live plants, but then that was something else she needed to take care of. Right now she has about 50 small pumelo citrus tree seedlings that she started several months ago that are likely going to die. I am trying to keep them watered, but they really need to be transplanted into larger pots, and I just can't find the time to do that with everything else going on. She told me to give up on them weeks ago, but I tried....

Connie isn't much into sweets trying to avoid processed sugars. She has been pretty fanatical about a healthy diet. And she found that she has allergy sensitivity to diary and wheat, plus some problems with her thyroid, meaning she tries to avoid gluten whenever possible.

So really I am just reduced to asking her frequently, "Is there anything I can do for you or get you?" Knowing I will get a "No, thank you" in response.

As an update, I took Connie to the ER yesterday evening. Kind of a conflict between doctors, it seems. On Monday her oncologist (who is still Dr. Ellison, apparently) suggested that Connie go to her primary care physician about her cough feeling it is an upper respiratory infection. Just like she recommended last week. Here PCP didn't get back to her until Tuesday, and felt the symptoms Connie was having were side effects to the Zarxio shot she got on Thursday. Same symptoms Connie had last week after having that same shot that Thursday.

But Dr. Ellison seemed emphatic about treating it seriously, and suggested either going to Urgent Care or the Emergency Room. Still not certain why Dr. Ellison was still Connie's oncologist after we had requested a switch, but apparently this was the case, and really not the time to try to press for a reason. So we went to the ER. Didn't go to the one at the hospital this time, but instead went to a closer one which seems to be more of a combination of emergency room and urgent care facility related to the hospital.

So we were there for several hours while they checked Connie out. Swabs all showed negative. Chest X-ray showed small amounts of fluid in both lungs, but the doctor didn't feel it was anything to worry about or warranted any medications. She also felt like it was likely side effects of Zarxio.

Meanwhile Dr. Ellison back pedaled on saying she warned that Zarxio could give flu-like symptoms, saying she meant more of the aches and pains variety of symptoms. Looking on line plainly shows cough and other symptoms most people would consider as being "flu like" as side effects of that shot, so not sure what is going on here.

So this morning I drove Connie to the Florida Cancer Specialists center, expecting to have a meeting with Dr. Ellison, then her having blood work done. If the blood work showed OK, then Connie would be getting another chemo infusion treatment, but again just the single drug this time.

We were told by the nurse who took Connie's vitals that she wouldn't be getting the chemo treatment today. This had Connie pretty worried, because she was afraid that we had rocked the boat so much trying to change oncologists that she was just going to be discharged by the facility. Basically washing their hands of us. I have to admit I was concerned about that too, and honestly don't know what I would have done had they tried pulling something like that. I might have been on here soliciting bail money from you all. :)

But the meeting with Dr. Ellison actually seemed really positive. Maybe our requesting a change of oncologists made an impression on her that perhaps her treatment of Connie wasn't what we had hoped it would be, and she is willing to make the effort to meet her needs. That is what we are hoping, anyway. As for the chemo treatment, she was giving Connie off this week, just in case she did have a respiratory infection. She didn't want to knock back Connie's immune system if that was the case. She said she recently lost a patient to a respiratory infection that overwhelmed the patient before anything could be done, and she REALLY didn't want a repeat of that.

So Connie has off this week for both the chemo treatment and another Zarxio shot following. Since Connie had another bout of someone failing to put an IV in one arm and another person succeeding in the other arm at the ER yesterday evening, I am sure she has had enough poking holes in her arms anyway. And I think Connie was actually relieved about the decision. Give her a chance to recuperate for a week before starting back in with the chemicals being pumped into her system.
 
WebSlave said:
I asked her
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Don't ask her. The point is to let her see you doing stuff for her. You know her better than we do, use your imagination. Instead of ice cream, try frozen grapes, or blueberries with cream. It's not the actual thing that is of benefit, it is seeing you create little bright happy spots in her day.
 
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